


Too Much Is Never Enough

by writerlady118



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:29:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 53,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerlady118/pseuds/writerlady118
Summary: Aranea Highwind works where the money is good -- and right now that's for Niflheim under the strange, yet powerful Ardyn Izunia. She doesn't always understand his orders, but who is she to look a gift horse in the mouth? After an unexpected act of kindness, Aranea fears she might be falling in love with the enemy. And if she is, then she's going to have a really hard time following her master's next orders.Crappy summary aside: this is mostly wish-fulfillment nonsense. I'm mostly re-writing scenes from the game, but adding Aranea because I liked her a lot.





	1. Assassin

**Author's Note:**

> Crappy summary aside: this is mostly wish-fulfillment nonsense. I'm mostly re-writing scenes from the game, but adding Aranea because I liked her a lot. If I get any details or names wrong, please feel free to point it out. This is mostly for fun, and because this has been rooting in my head for a bit. Suggestions/complaints are always welcome. I hope you enjoy reading it. I'll try to get an update out every week or so, mostly because adulting sucks.

"Do you understand my orders?"

Aranea didn't know why he always asked this as if she was a child. She had to remember to hold her tongue after this question. The last time she answered it, she wasn't able to breathe properly through her nose for at least two weeks. Of course, Ardyn had never laid a hand on her. He always made Ravus do that, and while Ravus said he didn't enjoy it, Aranea thought she could see the slight glint of satisfaction in his eyes. She wished she could turn her back on them both, call them assholes, and leave them for good. She wished she was stronger than she was. 

She nodded that she understood. 

"Good. You will wait here for them, and then strike when I say. Remember that I am always watching you, and no harm will ever come to you as long as this remains so."

Aranea suppressed the shudder that wormed up her spine. "Is this another test?" She dared to ask.

Ardyn smiled. Aranea felt disgusted at the twinkle in his eye that told her he knew more than he was letting on. "You passed that a long time ago, my dear," he said. 

Aranea turned away, and felt the cold sting of memory on her skin. 

"I don't know why you allow yourself to suffer such regret," Ardyn said. "If you just let it go, you would be one of my best warriors."

_Maybe I don't want to be your best warrior_ , Aranea thought. She readied her lance and sat at the edge of the guard tower. If she pushed herself off, she would fall and fall, and if she wanted to, she could let herself just hit the ground. No more Ardyn, no more Ravus, no more Aranea.

She felt Ardyn's hand on her shoulder. If she had remembered what it felt like to have a father, it might have seemed fatherly to her. But she knew better.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

She heard Ardyn disappear in that mysterious way of his. He told her it wasn't magic, just his way. Whatever that meant.

The sun was a pretty goldish red color in the sky as it set. When Aranea was alone, she liked to pretend she was somewhere else, where money was never an issue, and she could look at the sunset not as a countdown, but as just a sunset. She wouldn't have to worry about killing anyone to line someone else's pocket or provide power to someone else.  She could be Aranea, and she could figure out who Aranea was exactly. 

Then she'd hear the sound of a gun going off, or the MagiTek goons practicing drills on the base, and she would remember that she was Aranea the dragoon who obeyed orders no matter how ridiculous they were. 

The stars began to wink at her in the night sky when she heard the first explosion. She looked back just in time to see the red cloud fading where the shield generator had been.

_They're here_. 

Aranea sighed and got to her feet. The fighting behind her was growing more intense by the second. The moon above her was like a yellow eye. If she had any faith that the gods were watching, she was sure they would strike her down now. The only thing that happened was the king and his three comrades were approaching the car, just as Ardyn said they would. She felt her heart pounding violently behind her ribs. She grabbed her helmet -- a ridiculous piece gifted to her from Ravus -- and put it on. The cage that protected her face was to serve as a warning to others:

_Beware of dog_.

The group below was just clearing out the remaining MagiTek when Ardyn gave the order. His voice was as clear as a bell in Aranea's head, and it gave her goosebumps. 

_Go. Have fun._

Aranea stood at the edge of the tower, savoring the mild night breeze for just a few moments longer. She aimed her lance at the king's head, and was rather surprised to see that he looked no older than she was. It only took her off guard for a moment. She jumped off the tower to strike.

One of them shouted, "Look out!" It was just in time for the king to grab his sword and meet her lance before it struck him proper. The sound of the two weapons clashing seemed more violent than if she had pierced his skull. She landed several feet away from the group, her lance at the ready. She smiled as they armed themselves. They had no idea she'd faced greater odds than this. 

"Who are you?" the bulky one demanded.

She pouted, though she doubted they could see it. "I'm just a lost little girl looking for her king," she said in a mocking tone. "What am I going to do  _boo hoo_." 

"Keep on your guard," Four-eyes said. 

She formed a gun with her fingers and pointed right at him. She made a sound like a gun going off and said, "You die first."

Aranea thrusted her lance at him but he blocked her with his daggers. The others surrounded her, but Aranea wasn't afraid. She dodged their attacks easily, even the one shooting his puny little pistol. She disarmed him without a second thought. The bulky one was slow; she used that to her advantage. She ducked under his swing and elbowed him right in those perfectly toned abs of his. 

Two down; two to go.

Four-eyes and his king were faster, fiercer fighters. She thought she could easily get through four-eyes and finally kill the king, but he intercepted her every time. She didn't know when or how it happened exactly, but soon it was just her and four-eyes squaring off. He was gaining the upper hand; his daggers hit her lance with more force than she thought he was capable of. She threw him back to get some breathing room, but he was back on her without breaking a sweat. Every opening was just a feint, every attack landed where he wanted it to. Aranea couldn't understand it; she'd never met anybody who was so well-trained.

_Is this it, then?_ Aranea asked herself as she gritted her teeth.  _Are you just going to give up now?_

She desperately kicked four-eyes down. The king was a slight distance away, but that was all right. She raised her lance right as four-eyes got a grip on her ankle. She threw it as he pulled her down and pinned her.

She missed.

Her lance was sticking out of the car door. 

Aranea wrestled from under four-eyes' grip. She felt like a wild animal, especially when she snarled, " _Get off of me_."

He put a dagger to her throat, but even that didn't stop her from fighting. She'd been threatened with guns, knives, and even canons. "Go ahead," she spat. "I won't be the last."

Four-eyes hesitated. A weakness. She laughed at him.

"I'm not going to kill you," he said. He had a strong accent she couldn't place, and he seemed calm in spite of the situation. She wanted to punch him. "But I am going to make sure you're out of the way until we leave."

"I will hunt you down."

"We'll be ready."

Suddenly, a strong force pushed Four-eyes off of Aranea and back towards the car. His friends tended to him while Aranea lay in shock for several seconds. Until Ravus appeared above her. 

"Get up," he said. She obeyed. 

"What's going on? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Change of plans, we're letting them go."

" _What?_ "

"It was too much for you to handle --"

"I was handling it just fine!" Aranea shouted. She didn't even care that those four idiots were watching. 

"At any rate, he wants them alive. Fall back, Aranea. We're done here." He turned his back on her.

"You don't get to  _dismiss_ me, Ravus," Aranea said as she angrily followed him. 

Ravus turned to face her again, seething. "I don't think you realize just how expendable you are, Aranea. You want to stay and try to prove yourself? Go ahead. Disobey his orders again. Get yourself killed. In the end, there are thousands more like you. You won't even be a note in our ledgers when you're gone. So, yes, I  _will_ dismiss you." With that, he turned his back on her for the final time. 

Aranea felt like screaming. She wanted to claw at Ravus, she wanted to make him and the whole world hurt. Instead she stood there far longer than she should have. She didn't even react when she heard footsteps come up beside her. 

"Your lance." It was Four-eyes, and he spoke to her like she was delicate or sad. It only enraged her further. She snatched her lance away from him. 

"I don't need your sympathy," she said. 

"I'm not giving you any," he replied. "I'm giving you your lance."

She looked at the road ahead where Ravus was still leisurely walking. "Get out of my sight before I change my mind," she said. Then she walked after Ravus because there was nowhere else for her to go. Even if she was expendable. 

She wished she was stronger than she was. 


	2. Unwanted Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steyliff Grove Part 1 basically.  
> Thanks for all the love for the first chapter. I hope this one doesn't disappoint.

After a night like the last one, it felt good to punch something. Though Aranea’s body was sore in places she didn’t know could be sore, she went at the training dummy with all her strength. She couldn’t stop thinking about how that guy had overpowered her, and what Ravus had said. Both in that order. Aranea knew she could overcome any battle, defeat any adversary. And yet last night – an assignment that should have been easy turned to shit. Because he had been better than her.

 

Aranea slammed her fist into the dummy’s face one last time before catching her breath and drinking some water. She stiffened when she heard the door behind her creak open. Usually, this early in the morning, she was guaranteed to be alone in the part of the ship. Maybe that’s what made her such an easy target; her predictability.

 

She only gave a passing glance at her intruder before returning to her training. It was Ravus. He was looking sorry again. Aranea tried to pretend that she didn’t care the slightest bit, but she could feel his presence like an oppressive heat. He said her name and she ignored him and continued to ignore him as he gave yet another one of his speeches.

 

“You are still angry with me. I understand. But you have to know I only said what I did because if they knew your value, they would have captured you. Killed you, even. Or worse.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Aranea replied coolly. “He said he wasn’t going to kill me.”

 

Ravus stopped her fist from connecting with the dummy’s chest. “He?”

 

“Yeah. One of the king’s boy toys.”

 

“And you believed him with a dagger at your throat?”

 

“I believe his weakness is that he wanted to do the right thing. The moral thing, I guess. He’s not motivated by money, like we are. I think you can say that about any of them.”

 

“That’s what makes them better than us, I suppose.”

 

Aranea said nothing. She wrenched her wrist free from Ravus’ grip and continued her dummy abuse. Ravus said her name again, softer than last time, gentle, even. Aranea was long immune to that type of thing.

 

“You know I didn’t mean anything I said.”

 

“Could have fooled me,” Aranea replied. “And it wouldn’t even be the first time.”

 

He stopped her again, this time pulled her towards him and tilting her chin up so she could look him in the eye. “What’s happened between us, Aranea? Why do we insist on playing this game?”

 

“Who’s playing? It’s been like this since we got here.”

 

“But we _still_ love each other. In spite of everything, we still have us. That will never change.”

 

“What about when your sister marries the king we just tried to have killed?”

Ravus’ face darkened. “She’s not my sister, I’ve told you that. Not if she insists on marrying that . . .” He seemed to be at a loss for the proper word to describe the Lucis king. Aranea would have chosen brat or dickhead. Ravus cleared his throat and continued. “At any rate, she doesn’t matter. You matter. We’re not going to be in this position forever. If the world wasn’t the way it was, we would have fled a long time ago. Just hold on, Aranea, please. And trust me. Things will get better. I promise.”

 

He bent down to kiss her. Aranea tried her best to feel something, but that seemed to require more energy than she had. She often wished his kisses were over quickly, but Ravus insisted on making them last as if that would change anything.

 

“I love you,” he said with a smile after he finally pulled back.

 

_Maybe_ , Aranea thought.

 

~+~

 

Steyliff Grove was a dank and miserable place, at least to Aranea. She supposed at one point it was pretty, but not it was just a murky, muddy swamp. The brutal heat wasn’t making it any better. Aranea wished they would hurry the hell up with this place and move on, but as she watched the soldiers unpack their large, steel crates from the airship, she had a feeling this wasn’t going to be a quick visit. There was a dungeon here, that much she knew, but she didn’t know why she needed to be here.

 

Well, whatever Ardyn wished was his command.

 

Biggs, one of her trusted bodyguards, emerged from the ship carrying her lance carefully as though it was capable of biting. Aranea looked at him quizzically as he approached. After that failed night, she didn’t think Ardyn would want her anywhere near a weapon at least for a while.

 

“Master Ardyn wanted you to have this, Lady A,” Biggs said, handing her lance over to her with some relief. “He says he has an assignment for you when he returns and would ask that you wait for him at the entrance to the dungeon.”

 

“All right,” Aranea said slowly. “What’s the assignment about?”

 

“I think he wants you to retrieve something from the dungeon, but he doesn’t want you to go alone.”

 

“Why doesn’t he have you and Wedge come with me, then?”

 

“I don’t know, Lady A. He rarely explains his motives . . .”

 

“Yeah. I noticed.” She paused before realizing she was forgetting something. “Thanks for bringing this to me.”

 

“Of course, Lady A.” He bowed and it irritated her.

 

“You know you don’t have to do that.”

 

Biggs blushed. “Oh, I know, Lady A. I-I keep forgetting.”

 

“It’s all right. Just – you can return to what you were doing.”

 

Biggs was about to bow again before he remembered himself. He blushed more furiously and then quickly fled in the other direction. Aranea didn’t know how she was “gifted” with two guys like Biggs and Wedge, but in a way she was grateful for them. She just wished they weren’t afraid of her sometimes. Respect due to fear really sucked.

 

Aranea took her sweet time walking to the dungeon. Some of the Empire’s soldiers were already there. Some were examining the architecture, some were assigning weapons, and some were only pretending to do something. Aranea thought about saying something to them to bust their balls, but she decided to conserve her energy for whatever nonsense Ardyn had in store for her. She sat at the entryway steps and fiddled with her lance. She kept thinking about Ravus and kissing him. She kept wondering why it was so hard to feel that same girlish-bubbly feeling she felt when she first met him.

 

They had both changed, that was for certain. They were rarely ever together for a long period of time. It would have been easy to blame Ardyn, but maybe it was just her. Maybe she had become immune to affection after all the shit she’d done over the years to get here. Or maybe she was just sick of pretending and sick of enduring his bullshit. Either way, she knew deep down this… _thing_ with Ravus should have ended a long time ago. But he was all she knew, and all that she had. He’d not been wrong about that. Thinking about moving on without him kind of scared her, as much as she loathed to admit it. Depending on other people meant they had the capacity to let you down, and eventually they always did.

 

Always.

 

Aranea glanced up when she heard Ardyn’s voice. The soldiers started becoming more restless, so that meant he had, indeed, returned. Aranea stood, trying to look semi-professional. That died pretty quickly when she saw who Ardyn was walking with.

 

The king. And two of his friends: Four-eyes and the puny looking one. The buff dude was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if Ardyn had him killed in secret or something, but none of them looked like someone had just died. Aranea gripped her lance a bit tighter, wondering if she should try and disappear or stay put.

 

Too late; Four-eyes had spotted her and he was letting his comrades know about it.

 

Great.

 

Ardyn walked over to her while the three guys waited. It was uncanny how they all crossed their arms and looked at her with disgust. Was that a practiced routine or something? She had to look away, if only because it was creeping her out. What the hell were they doing here?

 

“Hello, my dear,” Ardyn said, tipping his hat to her as if he was a gentleman.

 

“Ardyn?” She didn’t intend for his name to come out like a question, but her thoughts were so jumbled she didn’t even know where to start with all this.

 

“The king and his comrades are here to look for some mythril so they can fix their car. I have enlisted your skills to aid them in this quest.”

 

Aranea had to blink a few times to process what she just heard.

"I'm sorry, you want me to do _what_?"

 

"You're to help them find the mythril. Be a dear and remember your manners."

 

"You expect them to trust me? After I just tried to kill them?"

 

He grabbed her chin and held it delicately. She felt disgusted by his touch, but knew better than to pull away. His tone was low and deceptively soft. He spoke every word deliberately so there would be no misunderstanding. "I expect the job to be done." He let her go, and Aranea flexed her jaw as if to rid herself of his touch.

 

Ardyn motioned for the guys to approach, and they did so, albeit reluctantly. They made sure to stay far away from Aranea, and that was just fine with her. It wasn’t exactly like she wanted to be a part of this, either.

 

“How do we know she won’t betray us?” the king asked as if she wasn’t standing right there.

 

Ardyn smiled good-naturedly and placed his hand on Aranea’s shoulder. She resisted the urge to shrug him off. _Stop touching me_ , she thought. _I’m not your property_.

 

She could tell herself that as much as she wanted; that wouldn’t make it true.

 

“Aranea knows what will happen if she refuses to obey my orders,” Ardyn said. He spoke as if he was talking about the weather. “Besides, she wants you to have your car in working order just as much as I do.”

 

“I do?” she asked.

 

“Why wouldn’t you?” Ardyn said, a strange glint in his eye.

 

She knew what that meant. “What a great question, I have no idea.”

 

“Well, you kids have fun,” Ardyn said, “and remember to come back before curfew.”

 

He waved as he walked away, leaving them all standing there awkwardly for a very long time. You could cut the tension with a two-handed sword.

 

Four-eyes was the first to speak. He gestured behind Aranea. “Shall we?”

 

Aranea took a deep breath. “Whatever helps us get this over with the fastest.”

 

She was never good with apologies.

 

“Good,” the king said. “You go first.”

 

“As his majesty commands,” Aranea replied with a mock bow. She turned around and proceeded up the stone steps, the guys following close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next episode:
> 
> "Is this how you treat all of your enemies?" she asked as she allowed him to help her up.
> 
> "No, but it is how I treat my allies."
> 
> Those words caught Aranea off-guard. Her? An ally to them? 
> 
> She shook it off before the thought had a chance to linger.


	3. Invaluable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steyliff Grove conclusion. Sorry this is long. I just wanted to move things forward. I also took some liberties with how Steyliff Grove looked.

This had to be some sort of punishment. That was the only way this made any sort of sense. Then again, Ardyn was never one to be predictable. That’s what made him dangerous. That’s what made him a man you didn’t want as your enemy. It was times like these that Aranea remembered why Ravus made them go down this path.

The dungeon was near pitch-black inside and the hallway seemed to go on forever. Luckily, the guys were equipped with flashlights.  _Which means I’ll have to rely on them to see_ , Aranea thought with mild irritation. She remained walking carefully at the front, pressing her hand against the wall every now and then to keep her balance. There was debris everywhere they stepped; the ground crunched like chicken bones under their feet. There was also a strong smell like mildew in the air.

Still, there was something impressive about this ancient structure. She could almost imagine it as it had been before. The stonework on the floor alone indicated a masterful craftsmanship that probably didn’t exist today.

“Do you think anybody ever, uh,  _died_ down here?” the scrawny one asked.

Everyone ignored him. Seemed he was the type to feel uncomfortable in the silence.

“Because this doesn’t exactly look safe.”

“You can always turn back if you’re scared,” Aranea said over her shoulder.

“Oh – really?”

“ _Prompto!_ ”

“All right, all right, sorry.”

Aranea rolled her eyes. This was going to be a hell of a day. And it had only just started.

They had to descend hundreds of steps into what felt like the abyss. Aranea heard the scrawny one getting slightly out of breath. (If they thought she was going to waste her time remembering their names after this, then they would be giving her too much credit.) She hoped that he was up to a fight if there was one. With this much darkness around, that meant daemons had to be on the prowl. So far they hadn’t encountered anything. The only noises besides their footsteps were echoes of crumbling stone and water dripping from somewhere.

At the bottom of the stairs, they found themselves in a spacious room. Ahead of them was the door.

“Feels like a trap,” Four-eyes said.

“Holy shit, do you think?” Aranea asked in a mocking tone. “Wow, I just had an epiphany. When it rains, do you get wet, too?”

“Very funny,” he replied.

“Thanks, I’m here all day.”

“Enough,” the king said. “Let’s just approach cautiously. If there’s anything in here, we’ll just fight back like always.”

“If there’s anything else in here,” the scrawny one interjected, “I would like to be the first to take her up on that offer of leaving.”

Aranea would even consider going with him at this point, annoying as he was. Not because she was afraid, but because she didn’t even want to be here in the first place.

“We’re getting nothing done standing here,” Four-eyes said. “We may as well move onward.”

They reached the door with no ambush and no further arguments. They tried to push it open but it wouldn’t budge.

“Perhaps trying magic?” Four-eyes suggested.

Aranea stiffened at the word. She took two steps away from the king. She knew the royals had the special privilege of being able to use magic without any kind of training. That didn’t make her feel any better about it. That scream was echoing in her head again, and she felt like it was getting hard to breathe.

“Everything all right?” Four-eyes asked. She wasn’t aware that he was looking at her, or had even noticed her at all. The king and the scrawny one looked back at her, and not for the first time she felt as though she was part of a strange science experiment, and once they had their results, they would put her down like a rabid dog.

Aranea took a second to recollect herself. “Uh – yeah, I’m fine,” she said. She didn’t have it in her to be bitchy or sarcastic.

“Deep breaths, now. It wouldn’t do for you to pass out on us.”

“I’m fine,” Aranea insisted. “Just get the goddamn door open.”

The door did indeed open with magic. The king made it look so easy, it was almost sickening.  _Just one more thing they can use to control us_ , Aranea thought. Why didn’t Ardyn let her finish the job? Or Ravus, for that matter?

Two of the guys walked on ahead. Aranea supposed they weren’t afraid of her stabbing them in the back any longer, now that they knew she had a weakness. Or maybe they remembered Ravus’ words from that failure of a night. That she was replaceable. She was nothing.

She was vaguely aware that Four-Eyes was still looking at her like she might go crazy. His arms were crossed. Clearly, he hadn’t forgotten that she tried to kill them all once.

“What?” she snapped. “Is there something on my face?”

“Yes,” he said, “a cage.”

~+~

  _“What’s that you got there?”_

_“It’s for you.”_

_“And . . . what am I going to do with this?”_

_“It’s a helmet. To protect you.”_

_“Oh . . . Look, I’m not ungrateful, but isn’t it a bit – I don’t know – much?”_

_“Try it on.”_

_“Mm. I bet I look ridiculous.”_

_“You look mythical. Untouchable.” He lifted the helmet just enough to kiss her. “Dangerous.”_

~+~

 

After walking for hours through what seemed like the same twisted corridors, they decided to take a break. Aranea was finally glad to remove her helmet. She placed it by her feet. The black unicorn horn reached up to her knee. She felt like kicking it away, but something always stopped her. She felt a finger had hooked around her stomach the more she thought about it, so eventually she stopped looking at it.

 

The boys were hanging out behind her. One of them said something about lunch, so she assumed that’s what they were doing. She was glad they didn’t invite her; in moments like these, she preferred to be alone. Maybe. Sometimes being alone did suck. Those first few months without Ravus, for example, when they were taken care of by Ardyn. She could see all these strangers around her and she would feel so small. Like, how could there be that many people in one space? How could they trust each other? She remembered asking Ravus how long they were going to be here. She asked him that nearly every day when they were apart. Eventually she stopped asking.

 

“You know, you don’t have to be by yourself,” Four-eyes said, startling her. He was carrying a bowl of something that smelled good. She didn’t know where the bowl came from, or the cooking set that was behind him. Maybe it had been magic again. She shuddered.

 

“I’m not really in the mood to share stories right now,” Aranea said. “Besides, I don’t think your friends would like it.”

 

“We have to work together. I thought we could at least try and be civil while we’re on this excursion.”

 

“I am being civil. I’m staying out of your way and being a good girl like Ardyn asked me to.”

 

“Ardyn also asked you to kill us.”

 

“Glad you remembered.”

 

“I was wondering why he changed his mind and had you assist us instead.”

 

Aranea shrugged. “If you’re trying to get any secrets out of me, it’s not going to work. Ardyn doesn’t tell me anything I don’t deserve to know. Maybe this is how he gets his jollies. Why did you come with him if you knew all that?”

 

“He does present a lot of problems, but at the time, he was our only solution. The four of us cannot overcome the Empire’s army.”

 

“Speaking of, what happened to the buff guy?”

 

“Gladio? He had business to attend to with the marshal.”

Aranea didn’t know who the marshal was, and that meant he probably didn’t work for Ardyn. “Oh. Well, I . . . hope he’s all right,” she said quickly.

 

Four-eyes sat across from her, still holding that bowl. Aranea wondered if he was planning to eat it at some point, or if he was just showing off or something.

 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” he said. “It’s quite touching that you care enough to say that.”

 

“I don’t. I just – you know, it was weird that there was only three of you.”

 

It became awkwardly quiet soon after she said that. She thought he would leave, but he didn’t. She thought about asking him to leave, but that seemed to require more energy than she had.

 

“Would you care for something to eat?” Four-eyes asked, holding the bowl out to her.

 

Aranea stared at him quizzically. “What, were you holding that for ransom or something?”

 

“No. I was waiting for it to be at a reasonable temperature before giving it to you.”

 

“What is it?” Aranea asked as she gently took it from him.

 

“It’s soup, specially requested by the king.”

 

It smelled heavenly, like tomatoes in the summertime. She stirred the soup with her spoon a few times. “Are you his butler or something? You have to wipe his ass, too?”

 

“Occasionally.”

 

Aranea was taken so off-guard she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. “Seriously?”

 

“No. He’s quite capable of doing that on his own, I should think.”

 

This time, Aranea did laugh. Gods, he was weird. They were all weird. “Well, uh, thanks. For the food. It looks good.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Again, Aranea thought he would leave, but he just stayed there.

 

She stared at him.

 

He stared back.

 

It was like they were in a contest, trying to see who was going to break first.

 

“You know, if you don’t want to eat it, it won’t hurt my feelings,” Four-eyes said. “Much.”

 

Aranea chuckled. “I want to eat it. I’m just wondering why you’re watching me like that.”

 

His calm and cool composure seemed to wane for a bit. Then he cleared his throat and it was back. Weird.

 

“I wanted to ask you a favor. But . . . I didn’t know how you would take it.”

 

“Uh . . . OK?”

 

“Would you tell me what you think of it? After you’ve tasted it? It’s a new recipe and I’m worried it’s missing something.”

 

“Why not ask his majesty and scra – uh, the small one what they think?” She didn’t think he would appreciate it if she said “scrawny one.” Besides, he was being all right and he wasn’t getting on her nerves too bad. She could mind her manners when she wanted to. She could be civil.

 

“His Majesty said his usual spiel that it was all right, just like the others. Prompto said it was the best dish he’d ever had, and to him, every dish I’ve ever made him was the best. So I cannot trust their opinion. You, however, are a stranger and not afraid to speak your mind. It would be most helpful if you could at least entertain me. Then I will leave you be.”

 

Aranea didn’t think that was such a big deal to ask for. However . . . “Are you going to watch me the whole time?”

 

“I enjoy seeing the faces of the people I cook for,” he replied. He even smiled. At her.

 

Weird.

 

“All right.” How do you even argue with somebody about that? Though she stopped looking at him, she could feel his eyes on her as she lifted the spoon. The soup was still steaming, so she blew on it for a second before putting it in her mouth.

 

_Holy shit_.

 

She had to put her spoon down to process this.

 

“Well?” Four-eyes asked. Aranea didn’t think anybody could literally be on the edge of his seat, but, well, here they were.

 

She sighed as if she was disappointed and shook her head. “Well,” she said, “obviously it’s shit.”

 

His face fell a little, though she could tell he was trying to hold it together. She couldn’t keep up the act and burst out laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m just fucking with you. Your boys weren’t lying. This is really, _really_ good. Hate to say it, but, it’s probably some of the best soup I’ve had.” She devoured more before adding, “Sorry, I know that probably doesn’t help you.”

 

He smiled again, looking very relieved. “I am glad to hear that you like it,” he said.

 

Aranea continued to eat while she talked. Bad manners, yeah, but she kind of felt invested now, and this soup was too good to let it go cold. “So you like to cook?”

 

“What gave you that idea?”

 

It took her a second to realize he was being sarcastic. “I don’t know. Maybe the creepy way you were watching me.”

 

“I’m certain it wasn’t that unsettling.”

 

“With your constant stick-up-the-ass expression? Yeah, maybe just a little bit.” She drank the last of her soup. “Now, before you try to say something witty or clever, um . . . is there any leftover soup?”

 

~+~

 

After everyone was done with lunch, they continued onward. This time, they walked more as a group rather than have Aranea singled out. She had a feeling Four-eyes had something to do with this, but she wasn’t going to complain. Now that there weren’t three flashlights aimed at her back, she felt like she could see properly. It was unnerving they hadn’t encountered anything yet. She felt there should have at least been a goblin or two about to sneak up on them. She could sense that the boys were on edge about it, too. They gripped their weapons tighter, and tried to have their footsteps make as little noise as possible.

 

“Aranea, what was in those crates the soldiers were bringing out of the ship?” Four-eyes asked. She was slightly startled that he used her name; she didn’t think he even knew what it was.

 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I’d seen them before but never had a chance to look inside, courtesy of our favorite person.”

 

“What’s up, Iggy?” the scrawny one – Prompto, Aranea reminded herself, asked.

 

Aranea couldn’t help but ask, “I’m sorry, but your name is Iggy?”

 

Prompto and the king snickered. Four-eyes sighed heavily. (She absolutely _refused_ to call him Iggy.)

 

“It’s a nickname, from when we were younger,” Four-eyes said.

 

“His real name is Ignis,” the king said. “Sometimes we call him Iggy, or Specs, or ‘hey, you, over there.’”

 

“I’m feeling ‘hey, you, over there,’” Aranea said with a sly grin.

 

“Please, don’t,” Ignis said. (She had to stop thinking about him as Four-eyes, and goddamn was that hard.)

 

Aranea chuckled. “All right. Could I . . . call you Specs, then?” Specs was at least closer to Four-eyes.

 

“I suppose that will do,” Specs said resignedly.

 

“I see you two are getting along well,” the king said over his shoulder. Aranea saw one of his eyebrows raised as if in suspicion. “Specs doesn’t just let anybody call him Specs.”

 

“What did you say about his recipe?” Prompto asked.

 

Specs interjected before Aranea could formulate an answer. “We have to work together. I’m being civil.”

 

“There’s being civil, and then there’s letting her call you Specs,” the king said.

 

As much as Aranea didn’t want to irritate Specs, she had to admit he had some great reactions.

 

“I’m being civil,” Specs repeated, more insistently this time.

 

“Right,” the king said. “Anyway, what was that about the crates?”

 

Specs sighed heavily again. “Just a theory I had. But there’s no way to prove it.”

 

“You think the Empire has something to do with the missing daemons?” Aranea asked.

 

“Perhaps. But, as I said, there’s no way to prove it. Not unless we want to break into one of them.”

 

“I’d definitely advise against that,” Aranea said. “You guys are capable, but they’ve got guns. And MagiTek armor. They’d wipe you out before you even had the chance to say hello.” If it was true and the Empire was behind the daemons missing from the dungeon, then that could only be very bad.

 

“And you work for them,” the king said, not unkindly, but not exactly with ease either.

 

“How could you work for people like that?” Prompto asked.

 

Aranea bristled. _What am I doing?_ she asked herself. _These guys are not my friends. I tried to kill them once. Yeah, they’re being nice, but what if Ardyn wants you to go after them again? You’re making the same mistake you did last time. When are you going to learn?_

“I, um, had no choice,” she said in a low tone. “Just like you,” she added, because she’d be damned if she was going to let them pull the whole “we’re better than you” bullshit on her.

 

Several minutes later, they arrived in front of a pair of large golden double-doors. Though it was still quiet, they approached cautiously. Aranea looked away while the king used his magic to open them, and once he did, the first thing they saw was a shimmering, ethereal light on the floor.

 

“Woah, guys, look at that!” Prompto said, pointing to the ceiling.

 

They were all stunned for several seconds. Even Aranea gasped with awe.

 

Instead of a stone ceiling, above them was a large body of water being suspended in the air. Fish were swimming around in it. At the far end of the room was a statue that looked like it had just dived in; half of its body was nearly touching the ground, the rest was still suspended in the water. Light from the ceiling created bright, shimmering waves all around them.

Not for the first time, Aranea had to ask herself: _Who builds this shit?_

“Beautiful beyond words,” Specs said, which caught Aranea off-guard. That had to be the some of the corniest shit she had ever heard, and yet he sounded so sincere that she couldn’t even call him out on it.

 

“Unsettling,” Aranea said. “But . . . yeah, it’s also pretty neat.”

 

Prompto had his camera out and was already snapping a few pictures. “Gladio doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

 

“I doubt he would care that much,” the king said.

 

Aranea silently agreed. Big and brawny looked like he’d be more impressed with the tits on the statue than water hovering in mid-air.

 

The walked down the spiral stairs that led to what looked like a spacious arena on the bottom floor. Aranea gripped her lance tightly. Even though they appeared to be the only ones there, she felt a strange prickling in the air that had nothing to do with magic. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, and she could see the boys were sensing something too.

 

Prompto, of course, just had to say something. “Now this looks like a place where a big, horrible nasty lives.”

 

As if on cue, a giant, brilliant bird-creature appeared over the ledge. It didn’t look very happy that strangers had ended up in its lair.

 

Aranea snapped, “Hey, Photo-bomb, next time, do us a favor and keep your mouth shut.”

 

The bird-creature rose up into the air and streaked toward them like lightning. They only just had time to get out of its way. The bird-creature clawed at the ground with its talons; the ground screeched like thousands of nails on a chalkboard.

 

Aranea aimed her lance at the creature’s leg, and her aim was true. The creature shrieked and batted her away. She easily dodged its claws. The next target was one of its wings, but before she could even take aim –

 

“Look out!”

 

The bastard thing’s tail wrapped around her, and it was making to take her up into the air with it. Suddenly, Specs was at her side. He used his own lance to cut the tail in two. Aranea painfully fell on her back. Specs quickly unraveled the rest of the creature’s tail from around her, and then held out his hand.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

Aranea sat up on her elbows. For several precious seconds she was unsure what to do. The bird rose into the air and the other two were having a hard time bringing it down. She didn’t have time to question these things.

 

“Is this how you treat all your enemies?” she asked as she allowed him to help her up.

 

“No. But it is how I treat my allies.”

 

Those words caught Aranea off-guard. Her? An ally to them?

 

She shook off before the thought had a chance to linger. They didn’t have time for this. _She_ didn’t have time.

 

The battle was long and hard-fought. They managed to clip the creature’s wings and bring it down, but it fought just as fiercely as it had when it was airborne. Without consciously deciding so, Aranea and Specs fought side-by-side, subtly using each other for follow up attacks with their lances, passing them back and forth to each other for more damage. Aranea had heard of fighting being described like a dance before, but she had never actually felt it until now. They didn’t need signals, didn’t need to call out to each other. Everything just felt so scarily natural. She had never fought beside anyone like that before. Not even Ravus.

 

As a final attack, Specs boosted Aranea into the air, tossed her his lance, and Aranea stabbed the creature in the skull with both of them. The creature let out a final shriek of defeat and then finally fell. Aranea wrenched both lances free and tossed Specs his.

 

“ _Nice_ ,” Prompto said, even though he was as out of breath as the rest of them.

 

“And,” the king declared as he pulled something out from under the creature’s corpse, “I found the mythrill.”

 

Aranea shook her head. “Gods, I really hope that was all worth it.”

 

“It’ll help us get to the wedding on time, at least,” Specs said with a grin. He was the only one that still managed to look collected, even though Aranea was sure he was tired as hell.

 

“Great, we got what we needed,” Prompto said, nearly whooping with joy. “Can we quit this place, now? _Please_?”

 

~+~

 

Several hours later, they emerged from the dungeon. By that time the sun was setting, making it look like the sky was bleeding. Biggs and Wedge were already waiting for Aranea, but she held back for a moment before rejoining them.

 

“Well, I guess this is farewell,” she said. “As awkward as it was, you guys aren’t so bad. You’re going to have a lot of shit crossing your path. Just don’t let anyone tell you how to walk it.” _In other words, don’t be like me if you can help it_ , she thought.

 

“Thank you, Aranea,” the king said. He even sounded gracious.

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Prompto added.

 

Aranea nodded, and she was going to turn her back on him for good, but then –

 

“Aranea, if I may.”

 

She turned back and Specs was standing right in front of her. She forced herself not to take a step back.

 

“As much as we were reluctant to work together, we are very grateful,” he said. “Your assistance was invaluable to us, and it was unlikely we would have succeeded without you.”

 

Wow.

 

Aranea was at a loss for words again. He didn’t say, _Thanks for your help._ He didn’t say, _Good job._ And he definitely didn’t say, _You did great following orders._

 

He said, _Your assistance was invaluable._

 

_Invaluable_.

 

Why was he doing this to her?

 

He held out his hand for her to shake. After a second’s delay, she took it. She felt something crinkle in her palm, but knew better than to find out what it was until after they had parted ways.

 

“You take care on the path you walk, Aranea. Don’t let anyone tell you how to walk it.”

 

He smiled at her.

 

She closed her hand into a fist, nodded, gave a quick, “Thanks,” and then fled as fast as possible.

 

When she was alone, she opened the small slip of paper Specs had passed on to her. It was a short, scribbled note:

 

_In case you ever need anything._

And then below that –

 

His phone number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next part:
> 
> "Everybody knows you don't split the last French fry. That's blasphemy."


	4. The Last French Fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was thinking I might post this tomorrow, but then I finished early, so eff it. Here we are.

She wasn’t ever planning on calling that number.

 

The scrap of paper went into her bedside drawer when she was back on the ship. It found her way into her pocket when she went on missions. Sometimes she’d take it out just to look at it as if it was a picture of a fond memory.

 

Still, she did not call him.

 

What would she even say? Besides, she didn’t need anything. She was ok.

 

Still, the numbers haunted her in her sleep. Sometimes she woke up and thought she could taste tomato soup on her tongue. She didn’t know why it mattered so much or why she couldn’t stop thinking about it. By now, Specs had probably forgotten about her. Why couldn’t she just do the same thing when it came to him?

 

Still, the phone number went with her everywhere, like a good luck charm or a childish trinket. One day, she dared herself to open her phone with the number in hand. She pressed the first digit before automatically closing it again.

 

This was so fucking stupid. Was she a grown ass woman or not?

 

She thought about ripping it to tiny, tiny pieces that way she wouldn’t have to think about it anymore or feel like she was obligated to call him or any of this other bullshit that haunted her like a ghost. The number was in both hands and she gripped the edge of the scrap. She willed herself to tear it. Rip it. Destroy it.

 

She did none of those things.

 

~+~

 

Aranea was going to be late returning to the convoy. After getting chased by a herd of goddamn Garulas, she ended up falling in a large mud puddle, and she lost all the ore she had mined. The mud was like glue and it took way longer to get out of it than it should have. By the time she reached the rendezvous point, the convoy had already left and she was stuck walking. She swore to herself as she trekked along, feeling like today really could not get any worse.

 

Not for the first time that day, she remembered the phone number. Of course, that had survived without a stain, which made her even more pissed. She wiped some mud off of her phone. She should call Ravus; he’d come get her without a second thought.

 

He would also ask her what the hell was wrong with her. How did she end up in the mud? He might even laugh and then try to make her feel better. He would kiss her cheek and tell her she was silly but he loved her all the same.

 

Gross.

 

She stewed while she walked with both the number and her phone in hand. Every five minutes, she would punch a number into her phone.

 

_All right. Fine. I give up. I’ll just send a text or something. I won’t call. He might be busy doing royal bullshit. He might laugh at me, too, but . . . somehow that would be better, I guess._

 

With a sigh, she typed out a short message before she could change her mind.

 

_Hey, it’s me, Aranea (if you remember). My convoy left without me and I was wondering if maybe you could give me a ride? I won’t hold it against you if you can’t. Hope all is well – Lady A._

So then she waited.

 

What if he didn’t answer?

 

What if he did?

 

Which one would be worse?

 

She was startled by her phone vibrating two minutes later. It was from Specs. His reply was short and to the point:

 

_Where are you?_

Aranea hesitated again. This might be the last moment she could change her mind. What would be the point of seeing him again, anyway? Maybe to find out their last meeting had been real, that he really thought those things. And maybe she could prove that some of that stuff wasn’t true and then she wouldn’t be feeling so goddamn guilty about it. She took another long, deep breath and then told him where she was. Then she waited on the side of the road.

 

She felt her nerves grow taut every time a car passed by. She was trying not to think about what she had just done. This had been really stupid, she knew. But when had she ever done the smart thing? Or the right thing, for that matter? Aranea fiddled with her fingers and picked the dried mud out from under her nails.

 

About twenty minutes later, a really nice black car was slowing down as it approached her. _Oh shit, of course he would have the royal car_. She wondered if the other guys were riding with him. Well, they were all about to have a good laugh. Maybe they wouldn’t even let her ride once they saw how dirty she was. She stood as straight and as dignified as she could and resisted the urge to vomit when the driver’s side door opened and Specs stepped out of the car.

 

She gave a little wave at him. “Hey.”

 

He waved back and said, “Hello. You look like you’ve been through the trenches.”

 

“Yeah, I probably should have told you about that before you brought the car. It’s really nice, by the way. If I’d seen it before they forced me to help you, I definitely would have been invested.”

 

“It was the former king’s, off-handedly passed down to me since I drive everywhere.”

 

Aranea noticed the slight twitch in his features when he mentioned King Regis. Then she remembered that he died a pretty miserable death. “I’m, uh, sorry . . . about what happened to him.”

 

“So am I. But this is hardly a proper conversation for a reunion.”

 

“Yeah, well, you probably don’t want my dirty ass in your nice, fancy car.”

 

“I may have a solution for that.”

 

Specs dug around in the backseat for something while Aranea waited. She tried not to look at his ass. She wasn’t sex-deprived or anything. She was mostly curious. Mostly.

 

He pulled out a light brown sheet that looked like it had seen better days. He also handed her a shirt that looked to be like one of his.

 

“This your dirty laundry?” Aranea asked.

 

For a second he looked slightly offended. “Of course not. That was neatly packed in my suitcase. The sheet is for . . . accidents.”

 

“Accidents?”

 

“Drunken nights, mostly.”

 

“Holy shit, you are a mom.”

 

Aranea made to take off her dirty shirt.

 

Specs cleared his throat. “Don’t you want some privacy, first?”

 

“What, never seen a girl in her bra before?”

 

“I, uh . . .”

 

Aranea sighed and twirled her index finger. “Just turn around. This will only take a second.”

 

He seemed all too happy to oblige. The shirt he gave her was slightly too big, but it was better than wearing mud for the rest of the day.

 

“Sorry I don’t have any trousers to lend you,” Specs said.

 

“It’s all right. We ready to go now?”

 

He opened the passenger’s side door for her and gestured for her to get in. “After you.”

 

Aranea told him where he could drop her off and then they set out. The car was really comfortable to sit in, and Aranea found herself sinking into the seat. Every now and then she would look over at Specs, whose focus was entirely on the quiet road ahead.

 

“Thanks for . . . you know, doing this,” Aranea said.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“How come the boys aren’t with you?”

 

“I left them to their own devices.”

 

“I suppose you didn’t tell them you were coming to help me out.”

 

“Uh . . . no.”

 

Aranea waved it off. “It’s fine. I don’t blame you. They’d probably freak out.”

 

“Does Ravus know?”

 

Aranea bristled. “No. He doesn’t know everything I do.”

 

“How does he feel about his sister getting married?”

 

“What do you think? Anyway, I’d rather not talk about him.”

 

“Fair enough. How has your day been, then?”

 

“Pretty shitty. You?”

 

“Trying, mostly. Sometimes it’s hard to keep my patience in check when people insist on doing the exact opposite of what they should.”

 

“Are you talking about the king?” Aranea asked wryly.

 

He sighed. “Yes. Sometimes I worry he cares more about being reckless than being dutiful.”

 

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?”

 

“I’m not telling you anything you and your retinue don’t already know.”

 

“Well, I’m just letting you know, even if you told me anything sensitive, I wouldn’t tell anybody.” She looked out the window as she spoke.

 

“I know,” he said.

 

She nearly did a double take. “You trust me?”

 

He didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know. It’s mostly a feeling.”

 

“Feelings are usually wrong,” she pointed out.

 

“Would you rather I didn’t trust you? Would you rather I left you back there?”

 

Aranea looked at her lap. “I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.”

 

“And what idea would that be?”

 

“That I’m . . . I don’t know. Like you, I guess. All nice all the time. Always doing the right thing.”

 

“I try. I don’t always succeed.”

 

“But you _try_. I just want to survive. I don’t really want to care about morality and shit like that.”

 

“Not everyone wants to save the world.”

 

Aranea sighed. “You just want to see the good in everybody, don’t you?”

 

“I don’t _want_ to. I just do. Besides, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think.”

 

Aranea bristled again. “It’s not that at all. It’s just . . . you’re a nice guy, and the world is usually unfair to nice guys like you.”

 

He was contemplative for a long time. Aranea felt like she had a bad taste in her mouth. Suddenly she wanted to get out of the car and just walk the rest of the way there. She hadn’t meant to tell him all that shit. Why couldn’t she just shut up?

 

“Are you hungry?” he suddenly asked.

 

Why did it always feel like he was thirty steps ahead of her or something? “I could eat, I guess. Are you cooking?”

 

“No. I thought I might stop somewhere for a bit.”

 

“Oh, well, um . . . I don’t have – I mean, I’m not that hungry,” Aranea nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

 

“Do you still mind if we stop somewhere? I’m particularly famished right now.”

 

“Sure.” She didn’t have anywhere to be right away. Nobody had even attempted to text or call her. Yeah, she could take care of herself, but it would have been nice for someone to at least pretend to give a shit.

They stopped at a place called “The Crow’s Nest” and Aranea was a little less self-conscious about her dirty pants. They sat by the counter and waited for Specs to get served. Aranea wished she had a little gil for some beer, because goddamn did she need it right now. The owner seemed to recognize Specs and told him he was going to give him a discount. _It sure pays to be nice_ , Aranea thought as she ordered herself a glass of water. They didn’t have to wait too long for Specs’ food to arrive, as they were the only customers in the place. It was a mountain of French fries and they smelled really good. She tried not to stare at them like she was homeless or something.

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to eat all that,” she said. “You’re going to be shitting for a week straight.”

 

“Oh, I can’t eat all of this,” Specs said. “Please, partake.”

 

If Aranea wasn’t hungry, she would have refused. But those fries looked too tempting, so she started eating with him. “Why did you get such a large amount if you can’t eat it all?” She already knew the answer to this question, but she couldn’t help but ask it anyway.

 

“I didn’t want to eat alone at a place like this. That would be classless,” Specs replied as he popped another fry into his mouth.

 

Aranea rolled her eyes. “I thought somebody like you would get a salad. Something healthy.”

 

“I like to indulge every now and then.”

 

“Well, I guess I have something else to thank you for. You want to sign the lease to my soul while you’re at it?”

 

He pretended to think for a second. “Hmm. I don’t have one of those in my collection yet. What could I do with a soul, I wonder.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Anyway, I’ll be sure to pay you back for –”

 

Specs tapped her knuckle with a French fry. “ _No_ ,” he said.

 

“Oh, come on. I’m not a goddamn charity.”

 

“I know, and I’m not treating you like one. This, here –” he gestured to the plate before them – “is _my_ meal. I ordered it for myself and I’m choosing to share with you. Besides, it’s Noct’s job to get the gas.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll enjoy paying for your generosity.”

 

Specs smiled. “Payback for what he said last night.”

 

“And what was that?”

 

He paused for a few seconds. “Oh, just his usual poking fun at me. It’s how we get along.”

 

“He said something about your cooking, didn’t he?”

 

Specs sighed. “Yes. How did you know?”

 

“That’s the only thing I can see pissing you off enough to seek revenge.”

 

“Am I that easy to read?”

 

Aranea simply gave him a knowing look. Specs laughed. Then they fell silent for a time.

 

Aranea stirred some ketchup with her French-fry. “Why are you so nice to me?” she asked. “You feel that bad for me or something?”

 

“Absolutely not. At first, I thought you were a danger to myself and my friends. I didn’t even really want to make a peace offering when we were forced to work together. I don’t know what convinced me to try – call in my feelings again, if you want. Once I sat there and spoke to you, though, I thought perhaps not many people have been nice to you. And maybe you haven’t let them try.”

 

Aranea felt like she was trapped in his gaze. Her stomach seemed to have dropped into an abyss somewhere, and she felt like she left her heart in the mud.

 

Specs kept talking as if he wasn’t just rearranging her whole world right then. “I’m glad I decided to give you another chance. I know you like to say things in an attempt to shock or offend me, but I’m still enjoying your company. And I value your honesty. I think perhaps we could be more than just allies. That we could be friends. But I won’t force that on you. I know you have obligations to . . . him.”

 

“Ardyn?” Aranea said, her voice a little cracked like someone had squeezed her throat.

 

“Him, too.”

 

“Oh.” She didn’t know what to say after all that. She felt like something had been torn down inside of her, and suddenly, she couldn’t look at Specs anymore. She cleared her throat a few times, then gulped down some water. When she found her voice again, she said, “I wouldn’t mind us being friends. You’re all right to hang out with, I guess.”

 

He chuckled. “Well, you’re all right to hang out with, too.”

 

“All right? Bitch, please, I’m amazing.”

 

He laughed again. “Looks like we’re down to the last fry. Should we split it?”

 

“What? _No_. You don’t split the last French fry. That’s blasphemy. You better put that knife down. I’m serious.”

 

“I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

 

“That’s because you and your royals do everything backwards. You don’t split the last fry.”

 

“All right. Then what do we do?”

 

“We could duel for it.”

 

Specs held up his hands in surrender. “I’d rather not get your blood on my hands if I can help it.”

 

“Oh, so you think you’d beat me, huh?”

 

“I have once before.”

 

She lightly smacked him. “ _Asshole_ ,” she said as she laughed.

 

“Here. I’ll make this easy.” Specs pushed the plate towards her. “I concede to you, fair lady, until next time.”

 

Aranea ate the last one without hesitating. “There’s going to be a next time?” she asked as she chewed. She knew that probably irritated him that she was eating with her mouth open.

 

“Maybe. Should there be a next time?”

 

“Probably not. But I’m pretty stubborn, so I guess there will be.”

 

“You, stubborn?” He scoffed. “I never would have guessed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What have I done to make you turn away from me?"


	5. To Good People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That feel you get when you realize you posted next chapter's preview too early. -_-
> 
> Anyway, the only thing of note is that I added seat belts to the car because I always thought it was weird they drove without wearing them. I know that's a thing in Japan, but I felt like it would go against Iggy's character to not wear them at all.

Two days later, he sent her a text. The subject line was a frowny face. _I tried to stop them_ , he wrote. Beneath his words was a picture of a lonely French fry cut in two. Aranea would have laughed but she was supposed to be paying attention to the Empire’s council meeting. Everybody else was paying attention to Captain Whatever about progress in Insomnia and blah blah blah. Aranea quickly wrote back:

 

_That picture nearly killed me. How about a trigger warning next time?_

When her phone vibrated again, the guy beside her looked at her. She glared at him back, daring him to say something, and he quickly looked away. Being scary had its advantages sometimes.

 

 _I didn’t realize you were so sensitive,_ he said.

 

 _When it comes to food?_ she replied. _You bet your sweet ass._

_I think sultry is the word you’re looking for._

_I think you’d give me diabetes before giving me a heart attack. You’re so nice it’s literally sickening._

_What are you doing today?_

Aranea stared at the question, wanting to ask him why he wanted to know. Was this crossing some kind of line? She didn’t think so. It wasn’t like they were meeting each other in secret and fucking each other’s brains out. Still, she thrilled about having this as a secret. Having this person somewhere in the world who cared enough to ask. The guy beside her sucked his teeth and looked at her from the corner of his eyes.

 

 _Pissing everyone off_ , she typed back.

 

 _Ah, so a typical day, then._ He even added a smiley face. Asshole.

 

Aranea took a picture of her middle finger and said, _Sit on it and spin._

 

She tucked her phone away quickly when the captain’s eyes lingered on her for a second too long. Her phone vibrated again, but she had to wait until Captain Dumbass found somebody else to harass with his eyes.

 

She nearly burst out laughing upon reading his response. She had to hide her face beneath her hair and cover her mouth.

 

There was another frowny face. _Too small_ , he wrote.

 

He was going to kill her. She was going to die.

 

~+~

 

It wasn’t supposed to be a routine, but it ended up being one. Aranea would try to catch up with her convoy as slowly as possible, and it was only when it was too late that she would text Specs and they would drive. The next time they stopped at a place to eat, Aranea made sure she could pay. If Specs was catching on to the fact that she was missing the convoy on purpose, he didn’t say anything. Sometimes they would spend the afternoon just trying to out-shit talk each other. Sometimes they would talk about nothing, really. The best part was that nothing ever got too serious.

 

But after spending another late afternoon with him, Aranea was starting to worry that it was becoming unintentionally serious. She started looking forward to seeing him when she knew she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t even be texting him as often as she did, often late into the night when she was supposed to be sleeping. When Ravus wasn’t there, she said whatever she wanted. The few times he remembered that they were supposed to be lovers, Aranea shut her phone off, but not her mind. She kept thinking about Specs and his stupid glasses and his stupid car and his stupid, irritating kindness.

 

Was she being selfish? Of fucking course. She didn’t know why she felt she needed this, but somehow the thought of stopping made her feel even sicker. Specs, of course, didn’t seem to mind that she was using him. He genuinely seemed to like her, and she couldn’t even fathom why.

 

“What’s on your mind?” he asked after he finished chewing his burger. (How did he never gain any weight? That was probably part of his stupidly perfect package.)

 

This question seemed dangerously close to serious business territory. Aranea twirled her fork around in her spaghetti for a few moments before answering. “I don’t know. This is all just really weird.”

“What, the spaghetti?”

 

“No. I’m not joking I . . .” she faltered, unsure if she even wanted to go on. “You know, eventually you’re going to get sick of me.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“I _know_ so. I don’t even know what this is half the time. You’re always so nice to me and I keep expecting that you’re going to want something and I’m not going to be able to give it to you and we’re both just going to end up being disappointed.”

 

Specs took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. “I thought we were just being friends.”

 

“Yeah, I . . . I’m just not good with this sort of thing.”

 

“Are you trying to convince me that you’re not a good person again?”

 

Aranea opened her mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say. Sometimes he just made her feel so fucking stupid; probably because he was just so goddamn smart it was disgusting. She looked away from him before she could say anything scathing.

 

“There is a favor I would like to ask of you,” Specs said after she failed to answer.

 

 _Oh, great, here we go_ , Aranea thought bitterly.

 

He didn’t look her in the eye when he asked, which made her think he was slightly embarrassed about asking her. That was odd; he was usually never embarrassed about anything.

 

“I would like you to attend Noct’s ‘bachelor party’ tomorrow evening.”

 

Ok, that wasn’t what she had been expecting. “Why did you say ‘bachelor party’ like that?” she asked.

 

“Because I don’t think it’s something worth spending time on. Nevertheless, it’s going to happen, and I think it would be nice if you joined us.”

 

“I don’t think you quite understand what a bachelor party entails,” Aranea said.

 

“I’m fully aware. It’s more like a small gathering. I’ll be cooking, if that makes any difference.”

 

“Don’t your boys still hate my guts?”

 

“No. They’re aware I spend time with you.”

 

Aranea blanched. “Really? And they don’t try to stop you?”

 

“No. And I would appreciate if we didn’t venture further into this subject.”

 

Aranea could respect that, considering he always respected her. “OK.”

“If I’m being honest,” Specs continued, “I’m inviting you purely for selfish reasons. For one, you’ll probably keep my sanity in check when things inevitably get out of control.”

 

Aranea blanched again. “I can’t imagine you losing your cool.”

 

“Not externally. At any rate, you are free to refuse my invitation.”

 

Aranea should have hesitated. She should have carefully considered the pros and cons of attending this party. She should have sat there and thought through a plan for how she was going to leave the ship of her own free will. And yet, as she looked up at him, she could see there was something troubling in his eyes. It was there for only a second, and then it was gone in a blink. _It must not always be easy being the king’s babysitter_ , she thought. _Especially now that the old king’s dead_. She wondered what type of relationship Specs had had with the old king. She wondered what his life was like at the palace. Duty before everything else, probably, maybe even before fun.

 

“I’ll be there,” she said determinedly. “Besides, I couldn’t pass up your cooking no matter how hard I try.”

 

“You only had it once,” Specs reminded her.

 

“Yeah, and we only had lunch together once, too. Yet, here we are again.”

 

“Do I need to stage an intervention?” Specs said, looking at her over the top of his glasses.

 

His eyes were nice, a nice blue. She had to look away again.

 

“Nah,” Aranea said. “Besides, maybe it’ll end up being the reverse. Maybe I’ll just end up getting sick of you.”

 

~+~

 

Right as the sun was going down the next day, Aranea quickly showered and dressed into some casual clothes. Before she could leave properly, though, she realized that she forgot the “thank you” gift she was going to bring in her room, and she raced back down the hallway. She managed to convince Biggs and Wedge to help her leave the ship unnoticed, though she didn’t exactly tell them what it was for. Thank the gods for them and the fact that they didn’t ask too many questions.

 

Right when she opened the door to her room, she was greeted by the sight of a large, white package sitting on her bed. It didn’t have a tag telling her who it was from, but somehow she knew it her gut who the sender was. She opened it like there was a bomb inside and saw a silk red dress. It looked like something someone would wear to a wedding or a fancy dinner somewhere. She held it up for a few seconds before putting it back.

 

“I hope you like it.”

 

Ravus’ voice startled her, and she whipped around to see him standing in the doorway.

 

 _Shit_.

 

“It’s nice,” Aranea said. Her heart was slamming painfully against her ribs.

 

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’ve noticed lately you seem . . . distracted. When I wonder what has your attention, I realize that I am frankly jealous it isn’t me. It should be me.”

 

Aranea swallowed, not saying anything.

 

“So I spoke with Ardyn and he agreed to let us have the night off. I thought we could have a nice dinner together. Like old times.”

 

“Oh.” Aranea felt like she had been punched and was now left in a daze. Her heart started racing. “I don’t know. I’m kind of tired –”

 

Ravus came close to her and held her hands. “Please, Aranea. Just for tonight.”

 

 _I can’t_ , she thought. She glanced at her phone in her hand and then back at Ravus. Specs was going to be waiting for her ten minutes from now. What was he going to do if she failed to show up? “What about tomorrow night?” she asked.

 

“I don’t think Ardyn would give us two nights off. You wouldn’t believe the groveling I did to get us this one.” Ravus suddenly gave her a skeptical look. “You don’t have anywhere to be, right?”

 

Aranea opened her mouth, closed it, and then said. “No.” She would just have to text Specs and disappoint him. She would find a way to make it up to him somehow. Hopefully.

 

“Can I get some privacy, then?” Aranea asked.

 

“I want to watch you put it on,” Ravus said.

 

Aranea tried to keep casual. “Wouldn’t you rather be surprised?”

 

“No,” he said. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you out of that armor. And I want to be reminded.”

 

 _Fuckfuckfuckfuck_ , Aranea thought frantically. Maybe there would be a way to text Specs under the table or something. She put her phone on the bed beside the package. It buzzed and lit up with a message from Specs.

 

“Oh, and leave your phone. We don’t want any distractions, do we?” Ravus said.

 

“No,” Aranea replied. She slowly removed her clothes and then slipped the red dress over her head. It fit like a glove and the fabric was soft on her skin.

 

“You look lovely,” Ravus said. “Spin for me.”

 

She obeyed.

 

“But why do you look so unhappy?” Ravus asked with a slight frown.

 

“Do I? I didn’t think I did. Must be because I’m tired.”

 

Ravus offered her his arm. “Well, maybe dinner will energize you.”

 

Aranea took it. She wanted to glance back at the phone she couldn’t even see because she thought it went off again. Instead, she resisted, and walked with Ravus out into the hall.

 

She thought they were going to leave the ship and go somewhere nice. Instead, he took her down into the cafeteria, which was empty. One of the tables was covered with a red cloth, candles, and a roast that was still smoking. Ravus had his hand on her back while she sat, as if there was a risk she would fall or something. Then he took his seat across from her, yet it felt like they were miles apart.

 

“I didn’t have much time to prepare, since this was on a whim,” Ravus said.

 

“It’s nice,” Aranea said. Which wasn’t a lie; if this had been done maybe a week ago . . . or a month ago . . . before she started feeling differently, even. Then maybe, maybe, she would feel an ounce of something more.

 

Ravus cut a small portion of meat for her, which was irritating. She tried to get her own sides, but he did that for her, too. Like she was a child. Was he going to cut her meat up for her, too?

 

_You’re being a huge bitch about this. You should be grateful. You should be happy._

 

“How was your day?” Ravus asked.

 

“Fine. Busy. You?” Aranea shoveled food in her mouth. Meanwhile, at the back of her mind, she wondered how much time had passed. Had Specs given up on her? She would have, if she was him.

 

“Good. I missed you.” He smiled at her.

 

“Really? There’s not much to miss, honestly.”

 

Ravus chuckled. “Sure, there is. Your glowing personality, for one.”

 

“You always were shitty at sarcasm.”

 

“And you never could have a clean tongue.”

 

“It’s part of my package.”

 

(Maybe Specs was worried about her not showing up. That would probably be worse than him turning back all pissed. Maybe she was asking for too much, though. Yeah, they were friends, but that didn’t mean she was important to him or anything.)

 

“You still seem distracted,” Ravus said, pointing at her with his fork. “What’s going on with you, Aranea?”

 

Aranea shook her head. “Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind.”

 

(Those eyes, looking at her over the top of his glasses. Making her feel warm and small. Making her _feel_.)

 

“Care to share your thoughts?”

 

“Not really. You’ll be bored before I finish.” She took a long sip of wine.

 

(He made her laugh. And he was weird. And kind. Everything she was not.)

 

“I would still like to know. Just in case I can help you.”

 

“You know there’s only one thing that would help both of us.”

 

Ravus sighed and rubbed his temples.

 

( _Gods, what if he hates me now? What if he finally thinks I’m a piece of shit? Well, that would serve him right, trying to make her seem better than she was. Getting his own hopes up._ )

 

“Aranea, you know we can’t right now. Things are too –”

 

“Fucked. Yeah, I know. You’ve only told me a hundred times. But, you know, maybe we just have to take the initiative. Maybe we have to forge our own path.”

 

“And how do you propose we do that?”

 

“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around taking orders, isn’t it?”

 

“What’s gotten into you?”

 

( _Your services were invaluable._ She was _invaluable_. She could be more than this if she dared to.)

 

“I don’t know. I’m just tired of waiting and waiting and having nothing happen. I’m tired of having to wait for so and so to do this thing or for this to fall into place. It’s bullshit.”

 

She couldn’t believe she had said all of that. She couldn’t believe that she didn’t even feel any shame for any of it.

 

( _You’re not going to let him down, Aranea. You already know what you’re going to do._ )

 

“Look, thanks for the meal and the dress and everything. I just . . . I think we need space right now.”

 

She got up from her seat.

 

“Aranea, wait. You know I’m trying.”

 

She paused just long enough to say: “I know. But I think it’s not enough anymore.”

 

She didn’t have time to change or get her phone, so she just walked off the ship with Biggs’ and Wedge’s help. There wasn’t much time for hesitating or regrets. She ran down the road, heels and all, feeling like she had broken a rusted chain. She knew she could have done it all along, but it wasn’t until she did that she truly knew. Yes, she would have to come back to the ship. Yes, she would have to see Ravus again, but for now, the night was hers and she didn’t give a fuck how anyone else felt about it.

 

Still, she was really, really late. She tried to keep hope alive that he was still there.

 

Running in heels was a huge bitch. A few times, she nearly stumbled and fell. Nothing stopped her from running as fast as she could, though, not even the stitch in her side.

 

Then she saw the lights from the car. It was speeding away. She ran faster. “Wait!” she called out, knowing that Specs probably couldn’t even hear her. “Wait! I’m here!”

 

She tripped on a stone and fell painfully on her knees. Goddamnit. The car didn’t look like it was slowing down.

 

Too late.

 

She smacked her stupid legs with her fists to vent her frustration and sadness. _Stupid, stupid, stupid Aranea._

 

She looked up when she heard a screech.

 

The car had stopped.

 

It backed up until it was a few feet in front of her.

 

Aranea slowly got to her feet right as Specs got out of the car. She could have thrown her arms around him, that’s how happy she was to see him, and she wasn’t even ashamed about it. Gods, she even could have cried, but she kept that in check.

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said. She was still out of breath. “I got held up by something really stupid.”

 

“I’ll admit, I was a little worried,” Specs said. “But I know you can handle yourself.”

 

Aranea nodded. “Yeah. I can. Thanks.”

 

“I’m glad you made it.”

 

“Let me tell you, running in heels is a bitch and a half.”

 

Specs laughed. “You know, as flattering as it is, you didn’t have to dress up for me.”

 

She flipped him off. “Trust me, this was my last choice of attire. But I didn’t have time to change, so what you see is what you get.”

 

“I like it,” Specs said without a hint of irony or sarcasm. “You look nice. You ready to go?”

Aranea nodded, her heart stuttering slightly from the compliment. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

 

~+~

 

The first thing she noticed was the lighthouse, brightly illuminating the still night sky. When she was younger, she always dreamed of living by the sea, waking up to the tangy smell of the ocean by her window. She didn’t imagine living with anybody; just having her own private palace she could disappear to. To other people, that probably sounded depressing as all hell, but to Aranea, it would have been perfect.

 

The house they pulled up to was modest in size. She could see the boys hanging out on the porch with plates in hand, laughing and talking like friends do. Though there didn’t seem to be any more bad blood between them, Aranea was still a little nervous.

 

“This is the most mellow bachelor party I’ve seen so far,” Aranea said as she unbuckled her seat belt.

 

“That’s because I’m the life of the party,” Specs replied.

 

“Clearly.”

 

They both got out of the car at the same time. His Majesty and the buff one (it had been a while since she heard his actual name) waved to them. Prompto blushed furiously and retreated into the house.

 

“I’m not flashing anybody, am I?” Aranea asked.

 

“No way, you look _gorgeous_!” said a girl Aranea hadn’t noticed until now. She had short black hair and a very perky personality. Aranea wasn’t sure if she was going to like this girl, especially since the first thing she did was walk up and hug her like they were old friends. But she supposed there were worse qualities in a person, like Ardyn for one.

 

“Uh, thanks,” Aranea said after the girl pulled away.

 

“I’m Iris, Gladio’s sister. And you must be Aranea.”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Aranea was a little unnerved that she knew her name.

 

“Iggy talks a lot about you,” the girl said, by way of explanation.

 

Aranea cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”

 

Specs sighed. “I only mentioned you would be coming.”

 

“Damn. And here I thought you had an obsession with me, Specs,” Aranea teased, only trying to lighten the mood because she could sense Specs was getting a little pissed.

 

“Just about,” the king said with a smirk.

 

Specs sighed again, but ignored him. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving. Any beer around, as well? I could sure use some.”

 

“I’ll get it for you,” Specs said before he disappeared into the house.

 

“So, you dress that way for him?” Gladio asked, cocking his head towards the house.

 

“Nah, I was hoping your dad would be here. I heard he’s quite the hottie.”

 

Everyone laughed.

 

“Yeah, yeah, very funny.”

 

“What took you guys so long anyway? Do I even want to know?” the king asked.

 

“Well, obviously I blew him. Can’t you tell by how relaxed he is?”

 

“From the way he’s acting,” Gladio said, “I’d place a bet that you pegged him.”

 

“Not my style.”

 

“Gods, do you guys _have_ to be so gross?” Iris asked.

 

“Comes with the package,” Aranea said. “Sorry.”

 

But Iris kept staring at her like she was trying to figure something out. Probably why Specs liked to hang out with her, considering they were so opposite. Aranea wanted to break it down to the poor girl that Specs could be just as dirty as she was, but decided not to.

 

“What’s taking him so long?” Gladio asked.

 

“Maybe he’s trying to convince Prompto to come back,” the king said.

 

“I think the poor kid’s gone for the rest of the night. You’re going to haunt his dreams.” Gladio smirked.

 

“Aww, he’s a sweet kid. I’m actually kind of flattered.”

 

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Iris said. “He only has eyes for Cindy.”

 

“For now,” Gladio pointed out.

 

Iris glared at him.

 

Prompto did come back after another minute. He smoothed his shirt down and then extended his hand to Aranea. His cheeks were still a bright red, but Aranea gave him credit that he looked her in the eye. “Hi. Nice to see you again,” he said nervously.

 

“Nice to see you, too, Photobomb.”

 

Everyone laughed again.

 

Prompto looked crushed. “But my name is –”

 

Aranea placed her hand gently on Prompto’s shoulder. “I know, kid. I’m just messing with you. That’s just how I am.”

 

Prompto laughed uncomfortably.

 

“Where’s Specs?” the king asked.

 

“In the kitchen, still, I think.”

 

“Would you mind telling him he’s being rude to his guest?” the king asked Aranea.

 

“Sure.” She wove through the friends to get inside the house.

 

It was so quiet that if Aranea hadn’t smelled the heavenly seasoned roast, she would have assumed that nobody was here. She followed the scent to the kitchen, where Specs was standing by the sink. The water was running, but it looked like he wasn’t moving. Her beer and plate of food was on the counter. She hoped she hadn’t pissed him off with her comments outside.

 

“Hey,” she said softly. “Everything ok?”

 

He was startled by her approach. “Oh, yes, I’m – forgive me, I was lost in thought.”

 

“Need any help?”

 

“No, no, I’m fine.”

 

Aranea made to stand right beside him and placed her hand on her hip. “You can bullshit them out there, but you can’t bullshit me. What’s up, Specs?”

 

He shut the water off and leaned against the sink. “My uncle is dead.”

 

“Oh. Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”

 

“I thought he made it out of the palace, but he didn’t.”

 

Aranea didn’t know what else to say. She was never good with this sort of thing. Besides, she doubted it would mean much, considering what side she was working for. She swallowed and offered the only thing she could. “I’m really sorry.”

 

“It’s all right,” he said.

 

“No, it isn’t. It sucks and it’s shitty and . . .”

 

“And you were right. Terrible things often happen to nice people.”

Aranea frowned. “Do they know?”

 

“Of course not. I wasn’t even going to tell you until you insisted. Besides, this is a celebration. Not much time to mourn.”

 

“You know, you don’t have to play mom and dad all the time. If you don’t want to go back out there –”

 

“Aranea, in groups like ours, there are roles each must take in order to ensure the stability of everyone. I could never ask Gladio, much less Prompto to take my place. They would never be able to do it.”

 

“That doesn’t seem fair.”

 

“But it is what I want. It is what I am capable of. And I would prefer if we kept this to ourselves and celebrate. We don’t get to do this often.”

 

He turned toward her, and without even really thinking about it, Aranea put her arms around him. She was glad she couldn’t see his face. Her heart was doing that odd pounding again.

 

“What are you doing?” Specs asked.

 

“I don’t really know,” she replied. She found that she couldn’t let go, not unless he pushed her away. “I’m sorry,” she added, though she wasn’t quite sure what she was sorry about anymore.

 

Specs cleared his throat. “I’m going to be all right, you know.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“Are you going to be all right?”

 

The question startled her. “What do you mean?”

 

The door opened and Aranea immediately released him.

 

“Hey, are you guys joining us or what?” Gladio shouted.

 

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Specs said. “Come on, it’s not a real party without us there, is it?”

 

“I suppose not.”

 

They walked out of the house together, but Aranea could still feel something strange hovering between them. She wasn’t sure what it was, and she definitely wasn’t sure if she liked it.

 

Aranea wondered if this was what having a family felt like. They talked about the upcoming wedding (the king’s response was “whatever, it’s happening”), joked with each other, laughed together. The food was good and the night air was mild, and Aranea wished it would go on and on and that she would never have to go back.

 

Before everyone retired, they decided to partake in a toast. Everyone had to speak up and say what they were toasting to.

 

Some said to marriage, some said to good food. Gladio with his smart mouth said to red dresses, making Prompto blush again.

 

“To good nights like these,” Specs said.

 

Aranea raised her glass. “To good people, always there when you need them. When the world hits you, you hit back just as hard.”

 

And then it was finally Iris’ turn. “To Noct,” she said.

 

Everyone repeated, “To Noct.”

 

Specs insisted on driving her back. The car ride was exceptionally quiet. Aranea could feel that strange thing hovering between them again, slightly stronger than before. She kept her attention to the world zipping by her window. She hadn’t even considered what was going to happen when she saw Ravus again. She knew he was going to insist on talking, and it was just going to be the same conversation they always had. After a night like this, though, she didn’t think much could bring her down.

 

Specs parked several feet away from the ship like always. They still said nothing to each other. Aranea hated how awkward it had become, so she spoke up first.

 

“Thanks for inviting me. I had a nice time. You’ve got good friends.”

 

He nodded but didn’t look at her.

 

“I . . . guess I’ll see you around. Take care of yourself, ok?”

 

She unbuckled her seatbelt and was about to open the door when he held her back.

 

“There’s something you should know,” he said. “I should have told you when we first met up, but . . . well, for various reasons I couldn’t.”

 

Aranea suddenly felt like her stomach was opening up into an abyss. “OK. What is it?”

 

“We’re leaving for Altissia in the morning. For the wedding.”

 

“Yeah, ok. I figured they were going to marry some place fancy.”

 

Specs finally looked over at her. “I don’t know when we will return. Or if we will.”

 

It took a moment for her to register what he was saying. “Oh.”

 

“So it might be hard for us to keep in touch. After the wedding, he will officially be crowned king, and then there are other duties to attend to . . .”

 

Aranea waved him off. “You don’t have to explain. You have your own life, you know. Your role, as you said.”

 

“I just . . . I merely want to make sure you’ll be all right.”

 

Aranea forced herself to laugh. “Of course I will. I’ve taken care of myself my whole life, Specs. I don’t need to be another kid you add to your mom and dad list.” She really needed to get out of this car and forget about this whole thing. “Besides, we knew this friendship thing wasn’t going to last.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Aranea knew her tone was off, but it was better than crying for no goddamn reason. “I mean, we’re going to grow apart. We’re barely going to see each other, and I don’t think we’ll be texting each other every now and then. It’s fine. It happens. OK?”

 

He looked like she had just slapped him. She wanted to take her words back, but for what reason? That’s exactly what was going to happen. Why couldn’t he see that?

 

She was about to get out of the car again, but then she felt his hand gingerly grab her arm.

 

“I want you to know that I don’t see it that way. I will miss you when I’m – when we’re gone. But I also want you to know that if you decide you don’t want to be working for the Empire any longer, you are more than welcome to join us in Altissia.”

 

She felt something claw at her throat. She knew she was seconds away from crying and she had to get out now before the tears came.

 

“You and Ravus would be welcome,” Specs added.

 

“We’d just put you in danger. It wouldn’t be worth it.”

 

“I asked Noct and he agreed with me to give you shelter if you come seeking it.”

 

“What if that never happens?”

 

“Then it won’t. But I will feel better sleeping tonight now that you know you have options.”

 

“You’re fucking crazy,” Aranea whispered. She couldn’t trust herself to speak.

 

“That may be. But only because I care about you.”

 

He may as well have stabbed her in the heart when he said that. She cared about him, too, but she couldn’t say it. She swallowed down the words.

 

“So I’ll ask again, are you going to be all right, Aranea?”

 

She nodded. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Good luck with everything, OK? For what it’s worth, I think Noct’s gonna be a great king.” She pulled away from Specs and finally got out of the car. “Goodbye,” she added before closing the door for good.

 

Aranea walked away as fast as she could, wiping at her eyes before the tears could fall. She felt stupid , especially looking back at her earlier feelings of freedom. She didn’t know what the hell she’d been thinking. In the end, had it even been worth it?

 

When she got on the ship, she realized that she forgot to bring the thank you gift. Well, in the garbage that would go. Not like he would ever get it now. She just wanted to get back to her room and fall into an oblivious sleep. Forget he ever existed. Why did she hug him? Why did she fool herself into thinking he would be a permanent place in her life? He was just like everybody else, in the end. Just leave Aranea behind because it didn’t matter anyway.

 

She jumped when she opened the door to her room. The box that held her gift was on the floor. Ravus was sitting on her bed.

 

Her phone was in his hand and he was scrolling through it. She didn’t need to wonder what he was reading.

 

“So,” he asked, trying to keep his composure. “Who is Specs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Where's Ravus?"
> 
> "Not sure, Lady A. I believe he said he had to go to the marketplace."
> 
> "The marketplace. Why would he --"
> 
> Aranea didn't have to finish her question. She already knew.


	6. Ravus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I listened to the Deus Ex: Mankind Divided soundtrack while writing this part. God bless you, Michael McCann.

Aranea laughed because of course this was how her night was going to end. She almost offered him her chin just to get it over with. _Do me this one favor_ , she thought as she dared to step closer to him.

 

“You think this is funny?” Ravus asked. “I went looking for you, and I didn’t even know where you were. I’ve been reading _this_ –” he squeezed her phone in a fist – “and it turns out you’ve been meeting up with this Specs character. Who is this person?”

 

“That’s such a loaded question,” Aranea replied.

 

“I – _what_? Just answer me, Aranea. Have you been fucking someone else?”

 

“Swearing doesn’t look good on you.”

 

She could see she was pushing him to the edge. His fists were shaking and he was breathing like he’d been running after her forever.

 

“Aranea, _please_. Tell me.”

 

Aranea sighed like she was bored. “He’s a friend.”

 

“So it’s a he.”

 

“Yeah. And I haven’t fucked him. We’re friends.”

 

“Why did you keep him a secret for so long?”

 

Aranea shrugged. “It’s not like you were around.”

 

“How many times do we have to go through this?”

 

“Maybe not for long. I got us a way out.”

 

“You what?”

 

“Specs is offering us shelter when we decide to leave Ardyn and the Empire. He’s going to be in Altissia with the new king. We’ll have their protection.”

 

“How do I know we can trust this person? How do I know this isn’t an elaborate trap so they can keep us prisoners? Aranea, this was beyond foolish.”

 

“I haven’t done anything. This was offered to me. I didn’t even ask.”

 

Ravus rubbed the space between his eyes with his thumb. “Gods, I – I didn’t think you would do anything like this to get away. Do you really hate this place so much?”

 

She thought about Specs and the news he had received about his uncle. She thought about the roles they played. What was hers? Was she just going to be a killer for the Empire for the rest of her life? Was she going to be a tool? She nodded. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I want it to be like before. I want it so badly I . . . yes, I did this.” But maybe it had been more than that. She suddenly remembered the feeling of Specs being in her arms. His scent, his heartbeat, the way he spoke to her. Her heart jumped. She stamped it back down. She was never going to see him again. It was better that way. “I did it for us,” she lied.

 

Ravus shook his head. “This is impossible. Mad. You risked everything and . . .” He took a deep breath. “And you did it for us?”

 

Aranea looked away and nodded. “It’s not like you were rushing to the door.”

 

“Ardyn has been good to us.”

 

Aranea laughed almost hysterically. “I knew you would be like this.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“You don’t give two shits about being free. You just want to be told what to do. You want to play it safe.”

 

Ravus grabbed her arm and she flinched, waiting impatiently for the blow.

 

“What do you think you’ve been doing, Aranea? You think you’ve been so strong and independent without me? You think running off with this man makes you any different? If Ardyn told you to kill him, you would. And you would wait here for me to return like always. Nothing would change. You and I are bound together.”

 

“Then come with me,” Aranea said. “You know I couldn’t do this on my own. He even knew that, too, that’s why he made the offer to both of us. So what if we’d be prisoners. We already are. And maybe we’ll even . . . maybe we’ll be able to stick together this time. At least with them, I know where we stand. This is our chance, Ravus, to make things right. Tell me you don’t want that.”

 

He loosened his grip on her arm. “Perhaps . . . perhaps we could make this work.”

 

Aranea stared up hopefully at him. “Please, Ravus. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want this.” She nearly bit her tongue until it bled, but she forced the words out anyway. “I can’t do it without you.”

 

He pulled her close to him again, this time wrapping his arms around her. Aranea’s mind inadvertently pictured he was someone else and she blinked the image away. “I’m sorry I made it come to this,” Ravus whispered into her hair. “I’m sorry you felt you had to risk everything to get us out.”

 

“It’s all right. Just come with me.”

 

She felt like he was squeezing her bones as he held her. She nearly couldn’t breathe.

 

“I’m so fucking angry with you,” he said. He sounded like he was going to cry.

 

“I know.”

 

“I just . . .” His body was tensing up and Aranea just waited. Then he relaxed and pulled away to look at her. His eyes were red-rimmed but he was smiling. “You’re right. I can’t let you go on your own. You’d be utterly lost without me.”

 

Aranea nodded.

 

“Promise me you’ll never see this man again.”

 

That was easy enough. “I promise.”

 

“Good.” He leaned in to kiss her and he made it last and last. When Aranea closed her eyes, she couldn’t stop seeing someone else. She couldn’t stop feeling like this was wrong even when she tried to focus. Ravus broke away and started kissing down her neck. Aranea tried to push him back but he only held onto her harder, like she was his lifeline.

 

“Ravus, I’m tired . . .”

 

“Please. I just need you to give me this.”

 

“I –”

 

“I want to know that you love me back.”

 

“I do.”

 

He pulled the strap of her dress down over her shoulder. She closed her eyes and thought of someone else.

 

Later, as Ravus slept beside her, Aranea stayed wide awake. Her phone had been placed on her desk right beside her. She felt like something had broken inside of her. There was only one thing that was going to fix it, and she was really scared, but she knew this was what she had to do if she ever really wanted to claim her freedom.

 

She reached for her phone and sent a message. _We’ve accepted the offer. We’re heading for Altissia tomorrow._

 

She only had to wait a few minutes before she was sent a response. _There’s going to be a storm by the time we both arrive. Meet us at the marketplace when you land and we’ll get you to safety._

 

She didn’t like lying to Specs, especially after all he’d done for her. Then she remembered that he was probably going to forget her after a while, especially once she disappeared for good. She started crying again, mostly for the things she had lost and then the things she would gain when she was far away from what she knew.

 

_Please keep us safe._ Keep Ravus safe, even if he is an asshole sometimes.

 

_We will. I promise._ _Nothing will harm you while you’re on our side._

 

_Thank you._ And then she added. _I’m sorry_.

 

_For what?_

 

She got up, turned her phone off, and then threw it in the trash.

 

~+~

 

“Ary, that guy’s here to see you again.”

 

Aranea lifted up her tray of drinks and was momentarily stunned. “What guy?” she called over her shoulder.

 

“Tall, pale, and brooding.”

 

_Oh, him._ They’d been flirting on and off during her shifts. She didn’t think that he was taking her advances seriously. She knew that he was some kind of royalty, but he told her he was outcast from the family. Poor you, she had said with a pout. He’d pinched her lips, and for a moment, she felt a strange spark in her veins.

 

She walked out from the kitchen, and lo and behold, there he was. His eyes immediately found her and he crooked his finger towards her to beckon her to his side. Aranea made him wait. She dropped off her drinks first before slowly making her way to his table.

“Are we going to do this every night?” she asked with a smirk.

 

“I wasn’t here last night,” he said. “Were you looking for me?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

He smiled at her. She smiled back. She liked him, even though sometimes it felt like she was caught in the gaze of a hungry viper. She was often waiting for him to bite.

 

“Come, sit by me,” he said, pulling out a chair for her.

 

“I have to work, handsome.”

 

“It’s Ravus, but I’ll go by handsome. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t waste her time serving the pitiful and depressed citizens of this place.”

 

“So which one are you? Pitiful or depressed?”

 

“Me?” He took a long sip of his drink, eyeing her over his glass the entire time. “I’m an opportunist.”

 

~+~

 

Aranea woke suddenly to the crash of thunder in the distance. Ravus had managed to smuggle her, Biggs, and Wedge aboard a cargo ship, and she had been sleeping on and off amidst the metal crates. She shuddered when she saw them, remembered what Specs had, well, _speculated_ about them. She wondered if it was true, but she wasn’t curious enough to look inside them herself.

 

“We’re nearly there,” she heard Ravus say. “It looks like they’ve just revived the Leviathan.”

 

“Leviathan?” Aranea asked as she stretched and stood up. The ship made a violent jerk and she nearly lost her balance, but Ravus was there to catch her.

 

“One of the gods my sister can communicate with,” he replied. “It means the king is trying to control it.”

 

Aranea shuddered again. She was reminded that, in the grand scheme of things, she was but a tiny mark in a world rife with gods, magic, and daemons.

 

Wedge, who was piloting the ship, looked over his shoulder to say. “It’s getting stronger. We might want to land before it gets worse.”

 

Ravus’ mouth was in a thin line. “Do it,” he said after a moment.

 

Aranea steadied herself. It was nearly time. Once the ship landed, she would quietly slip away, find a boat to take her away from this place. As she heard another crash of thunder, she prayed that Specs and his crew were all right. She didn’t know what the Leviathan god was capable of. As the ship jerked under her feet again, she couldn’t help but fear for them a little.

 

They would be all right without her, though. She would just further complicate their lives. Especially Specs’.

 

They landed by the docks. Through the window, Aranea could see people collecting their things, fleeing the area while shielding themselves from the building storm. She felt Ravus’ hand on her shoulder.

 

“There’s something I need to collect before we meet them,” he said.

 

Aranea quickly turned to him. “Now? With all this going on?”

 

“It’s important. It’s . . . for you. And I need to quickly say goodbye to . . . her.”

 

_Oh, shit, please don’t tell me . . ._ “They won’t wait for us forever, Ravus.”

 

“I know. All the more reason for me to leave quickly. I shall return momentarily. Wait for me here.”

 

“But, Ravus –”

 

He kissed her to silence her. “I’ll be fine. I know where Luna will be. Just a quick stop. I promise.”

 

He ordered Wedge to open the cargo bay doors, and had him close them as soon as he left. Even though they were on a time crunch, Ravus seemed to be walking as slowly as he could. _Goddamnit_ , Aranea thought. He was ruining her plans. Ravus didn’t know where they were all supposed to meet, so she would have to at least guide him there before disappearing for good. She sat back down and crossed her arms, a feeling of impending dread building in her belly.

 

“Um . . . Lady A?”

 

Aranea looked up at Biggs. “Yes?”

 

“I’m not sure if I should tell you, but . . . I, well, I want to make sure . . .”

 

“Go ahead,” Aranea prodded.

 

“Ravus is lying to you, Lady A.”

 

Aranea blanched. “What?”

 

“He told us that he was going to the marketplace alone, Lady A. I’m not sure if that is where he means to collect his package. He only said he had business to do there.”

 

“The marketplace? Why . . .”

 

But Aranea didn’t need to ask. She already knew.

 

“He had your phone, Lady A.”

 

Aranea quickly stood and ordered for Biggs to get her lance. To Wedge, she ordered him to quickly open the cargo bay doors.

 

“Lady A, please be careful,” Biggs said as he handed over her lance. “And don’t forget your helm.”

 

Aranea stared at the ugly helmet in Biggs’ hands. It was a silly thing, and yet it filled her with so much resentment in this moment. She angrily grabbed it by the horn but didn’t put it on.

 

“Also, Lady A, if you need us, please use this.” Biggs handed her a radio, and Aranea clipped it to her belt.

 

Before Aranea walked off the ship, she turned back to Biggs and Wedge. “If I don’t come back, both of you get your asses out of here and away from Ardyn. You understand?”

 

“Yes, Lady A. Be careful.”

 

Aranea ran off the ramp. The sea was churning violently, slapping against the boats and ships by the dock. She threw her helmet as far as she could and it landed somewhere in the sea, never to return to her again. Where she was going, she doubted she’d need it.

 

She sprinted towards the marketplace as fast as she could.

 

~+~

 

Aranea pierced the plastic dummy, and if there had been a heart, she would have definitely pierced it.

 

“You’re getting better at this,” Ravus said with a smile.

 

“Doubted that I would?” Aranea asked as she grabbed a towel and wiped her face.

 

“Of course not. However, that was a stationary target. Why don’t you practice on something more mobile?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like me.” He went to the practice weapons and grabbed a wooden sword.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Completely.”

 

Aranea laughed uncomfortably. “There’s no way I could best you. You’ve been at this for years. I’ve only been practicing for a few months.”

 

He crooked his finger at her. “Come at me with all you’ve got. I promise I won’t hold back in kind.”

 

~+~

 

The place was a wreck. Stalls were turned over, contents spilled all over the street. People were fleeing in a panic. Aranea could barely feel her heartbeat, and then she thought it stopped when she saw Ravus towering over the king’s friends as they tried desperately to get back up. Aranea did not hesitate, did not consider the consequences. She leapt high into the air and pointed her lance at Ravus’ head, crying out in a rage that had been built up for years.

 

Ravus looked up just in time to deflect her attack. The blow threw her backward towards Specs, Prompto, and Gladio. She stood her ground.

 

Specs was the first to get to his feet. “Aranea?”

 

“You guys need to get out of here,” Aranea said, looking right at Ravus.

 

“Aranea don’t do this,” Ravus said evenly. “Return to the ship.”

 

“We’re going to fight with you,” Specs said.

 

“No,” Aranea said. “Get your asses out of here, now. Your king needs you.”

 

“But what’s going to happen to you?” Prompto asked.

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

“Aranea, stop this at once,” Ravus shouted.

 

“I’m not letting you fight him alone,” Specs said vehemently.

 

“Yes, you are. And you are not arguing with me.” Aranea finally turned to face Specs. It was probably going to be the last time she ever saw him. She forced a smile. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For everything.” She arranged her features back into the tough, stoic dragoon she was known to be. She shoved Specs away from her as hard as she could, and he stumbled but caught his balance quickly. The look of disbelief on his face was almost too much to bear. “Now go. While you still can.”

 

“Let’s go,” Gladio said. He grabbed Prompto and Specs and together they ran towards the source of the storm.

 

Aranea did not look back to see if Specs was looking back. There were bigger things to deal with at that moment.

 

Ravus and Aranea stood several feet apart, and strangely enough, it had felt that way in their relationship for the longest time. Behind Aranea, a watery tornado was rising. It whipped her hair into a frenzy, but for the first time in years, she could see Ravus with perfect clarity.

 

“We were never going to join them,” Aranea said. “Ardyn told you to kill them, didn’t he? He told you to bring those crates here for him. Nothing was ever going to change.”

 

“Look around you, Aranea. This chaos is only a mere sample of what Ardyn means to unleash upon the world. Why join the losing side? Because you’re in love with _him_?” He pointed at the empty space where Specs once stood. “Love will not save you from the end of the world.”

 

“No,” Aranea agreed. “But it might buy them enough time to figure out a way to stop you all.”

 

“Us? So you’re officially turning your back on everything we built? On everything we had?”

 

“The only thing we ever had was a chain anchoring us to each other. I don’t want that anymore, Ravus.”

 

Ravus started to laugh hysterically. “He will never see you as anything but Nifelheim trash. I was the one who loved you best. I would have done anything for you. I would have given you the world.”

 

“Instead, you gave me a cage.”

 

Ravus flinched like she struck him. “Ardyn told me that this would happen. That you would be too weak to see the bigger picture. You were always too bloody stubborn for your own good.”

 

“You used to like that about me.”

 

“I used to like that you were mine. And now . . .” He sighed wearily and took a step forward. He pointed at her with the end of his sword. “I don’t want to kill you, Aranea. But I must obey. In the grand scheme of things, your life is but a star extinguished before it’s ever seen. The only thing I can promise you is that your death will be swift. But perhaps not altogether painless.”

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Aranea said. She took up a guarding stance. “Now come at me with all you’ve got. I promise I won’t hold back in kind.”

 

With that, they charged towards each other, almost like they were lovers reuniting. Once their weapons met, however, a violent clash rang through the air, nearly knocking them both back.

 

It started to rain.

 

~+~

 

“Will you still love me tomorrow?” Aranea sang along to the radio while she sat on Ravus’ lap. They were sitting in their living room. _Their_ living room. She never pictured herself as the type of person to settle in with someone, but here she was, doing the sickening cuddle and canoodle thing. “My mother used to sing that song when she was drunk. So I guess it’s not very romantic.”

 

Ravus laughed. “It is when you sing it.”

 

“Horribly.”

 

He drew her closer so she could look into his eyes. “So, will you still love me tomorrow?” He kissed her chin.

 

“Maybe. It depends.” She ran her fingers through his hair.

“On what?”

 

“Will you still be here tomorrow?”

 

~+~

 

Aranea landed bodily into a turned over stall. She rolled several feet and held her side, coughing up blood. She was pretty sure a rib had been broken. Or at least cracked. The grey sky was slowly spinning in front of her. She could hear Ravus slowly stepping towards her.

 

“Get up,” he commanded. “We’re not going to end it like this.”

 

Aranea wobbled as she got to her feet. Her lance felt so heavy, but she wasn’t going to back down. Why did he always have to be so right?

 

He came at her again, fiercer than last time, she could barely keep up with his blows. There was a deep, unsettling pain in his attacks that she could feel every time he struck. And yet, she still felt nothing for him. Just an empty space where love used to dwell.

 

His fist jammed into her stomach and she doubled over. His knee smashed into her nose, not enough to break, but enough to send her down again. Bright lights sparkled in the grey sky, but she was very sure that wasn’t right. She swallowed air, trying to fill her lungs again, but everything hurt, like she had just been skinned alive. She rolled over on all fours and spat out more blood. Ravus’ shadow loomed over her like it always had.

 

“If only you had learned, for once in your whole bloody life, to listen, Aranea,” Ravus said. “Hurting you brings me no joy. In fact, I’m devastated. I only ever wanted what was best for you.”

 

“Shut the hell up,” Aranea said through pained breaths. “Just get it over with.”

 

She could sense him hesitate. For a brief moment, she wondered if he was going to change his mind. She would have called him a pussy if he had.

 

Then he raised his sword. Aranea closed her eyes.

 

Something whistled in the air and pierced Ravus in the shoulder. With a shock, he dropped his sword and took several steps back.

 

Someone was running up beside Aranea. She didn’t have to see him to know it was him. He held out his hand to help her up. “Are you all right?” Specs asked. “Can you stand?”

 

Aranea looked up at him and shook her head. “Why?” She couldn’t form the rest of the question, mostly because her head spun like a music box.

 

“Can you stand?” he asked her again.

 

Aranea grabbed his hand.

 

And there it was. That thing that lingered between them, now surrounding them, filling Aranea’s lungs and heart, being swept up in her blood. Why did Ravus always have to be right?

 

“You shouldn’t have come back,” she whispered.

 

“Too late for that now,” he replied.

 

“Too late for both of you,” Ravus said, gaining their attention again. He wrenched the dagger out of his shoulder and threw it to the ground with disgust. “At least Ardyn won’t go home completely disappointed.”

 

Aranea took up her lance again. “Let’s kick his ass,” she said.

 

“Indeed.”

 

It was just like how it was in Steyliff Grove, proving to Aranea that it hadn’t been a fluke. She and Specs had a strange unspoken chemistry that she felt in every movement and every coordinated attack. Ravus was just as quick and just as powerful, even when they tried to surround him. Metal shrieked and clanged and nearly drowned out the storm. Aranea had never in her life been able to beat Ravus, even when they trained together. He was just too overpowering.

 

He disarmed her, sent her lance flying behind her, and his sword met her front within a matter of seconds. She went down again, and this time, she was unsure she could get back up. She heard Specs call her name, but he sounded very far away.

 

Ravus grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up. He pointed his sword at Specs’ chest. “I’m going to enjoy watching you die.”

 

Specs fought back but he was losing quickly. Aranea forced herself on all fours with the rest of her strength. She crawled as fast as she could to her lance, reaching out to it when it felt too far. She wasn’t going to let Specs die, she wasn’t. She wasn’t going to let Ravus win and control her destiny anymore. She grabbed her lance, and somehow she was able to get to her feet. Somehow, she was able to charge at Ravus with full force.

 

Her lance pierced through his stomach and exited out of his back.

 

Ravus dropped Specs unceremoniously before falling to his knees. Blood was leaking out of the corner of his lips, lips she had touched and kissed a thousand times and tried her best to feel loved by him. She couldn’t help but weep at the wasted life they both shared.

 

“Tears? For me now?” Ravus said through ragged breaths. “You know . . . better than that.” He tried to smile but failed. “He . . . will come after you. Will make you suffer . . . more than I would have.”

 

Aranea quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m not afraid,” she said.

 

“No . . . I can . . . see that now. For the first time. Since we met.”

 

Aranea opened her mouth, then closed it. Even now, she could not say it, because it was no longer true. Because it had never been true. And she was done playing pretend. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry it came to this, Ravus.”

 

Ravus forced out a raspy laugh. “No. You aren’t sorry.” He reached into his pocket for something. “At least not yet.” He held the round metal object in his hand like it was a jewel.

 

It took Aranea a second too long to process that it was a bomb.

 

She heard Specs shout, “Get down.” She felt him shove her out of the way.

 

And then the world exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it tasteless? Probably. 
> 
> But was it worth it? 
> 
> Definitely.


	7. The Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be short, mostly because I probably won't be able to update next week, and I was kind of fangirling out to post this. Hope you enjoy.

Dust and smoke. A ringing in her ears. There was something wrong with her left arm and leg; they felt like lead when she tried to move them. Her chest burned when she inhaled and then coughed. She could smell blood, but she wasn’t sure if it was just hers or . . . or . . .

 

Her vision went black for several seconds, then came back again. She knew she had to move but she couldn’t remember why. She could just feel this horrible panic sensation rising up to her throat. With great difficulty, she managed to roll onto her stomach. She couldn’t see anything through the thick smoke that surrounded her. She knew the street had been destroyed. Somebody was screaming. And it kept raining and it felt like the rain was filling her ears and lungs. She stretched out the arm she could move, trying to reach for something, but what was it and why was she having such a hard time focusing?

 

 _Go back to sleep_ , her mind insisted. _Enough. You’re done_.

 

She would have done just that. Her eyes began to close.

 

Her fingers closed around a familiar leather hand.

 

Her eyes snapped open and she squeezed Specs’ hand and slowly dragged herself over to him. Her heart was slamming so hard against her chest, and she didn’t think she could feel anything other than his hand. When she found her voice, she called out to him. “ _Ignis_.” She sounded like someone was strangling her. It felt like she was taking forever to get to him, and a part of her didn’t want to, because if he was dead –

 

Her vision went black again. She gripped Specs’ hand tighter. _Come on, come on_.

 

It came back a few seconds later. When she reached his body, she could tell he was still breathing, but something wasn’t right. He was shivering from shock probably, and she heard him cough up something. She called his name again but he didn’t respond. She looked down at his face and –

 

_Shit, oh fuck, no, stop Aranea, that’s enough, you’re done._

 

She forced herself to stay present, because if she gave up now, then he was surely going to die. Debris had shredded some of his face and he was still trying to breathe and his glasses were gone and his eyes . . .

 

 _You need to get him out of here_.

 

“Ok, ok,” Aranea whispered to herself. “I’m gonna get help, gonna get you out.” She started digging through his pockets carefully, trying to search for his phone, and prayed that it was still intact because it was his best hope right now. She kept holding on to his other hand, if only to let him know he wasn’t alone. _I’m gonna get you out of here_ , she thought determinedly. It took her a minute or so, but eventually she found it. The screen was cracked, but when she fiddled with it, it seemed to still work.

 

Gladio’s was the first number she tried. Her heart lifted when she heard it ring. _Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up_. And when he did, she nearly shouted. “Hello? Hello?” The line was cracking, so she rushed out as much as she could. “It’s me – Aranea, you need to come back and help –”

 

_We’re sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected._

 

Aranea screamed, “ _Fuck, fuck!_ ” She nearly threw the phone away before remembering it wasn’t hers. She frantically looked around for someone, anyone around. But the marketplace was a desolate wasteland. She resorted to calling out. “ _Someone help! Please!_ ”

 

Panic had her in an iron grip. The only sounds she heard were those of the storm. She tried to pick Specs up and maybe get him out herself, but her left arm and leg refused to do anything. “Just hold on,” she whispered, even though she had no idea what she could do. Waiting here was not an option. She tried using Specs’ phone again but she received the same disconnected message.

 

She started to cry out of frustration and agony. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, please, please . . .”

 

She snapped out of it when she felt Specs’ hand close around her wrist. Was he being completely _stupid_? “No, you don’t, you hear me? You’re not going to die.” She placed her good hand on his chest and willed his heart to keep beating. “I’m not going to let you die.”

 

Aranea didn’t know why she did this next bit. Maybe out of desperation. Maybe because she worried she would never get another chance.

 

Either way, she leaned down and kissed him.

 

Tasteless?

 

Yeah, probably.

 

Worth it?

 

Definitely.

 

It was small and soft, and Aranea knew that no matter what came out of this day, she would always hold on to it.

 

“Just stay with me,” she said. “Please.”

 

Then she heard a sudden burst of static from behind her. Aranea quickly turned around to see where it had come from.

 

“—dy A? . . . hear me?”

 

Aranea desperately squinted through the rain. And then she saw it, lying in a puddle a few feet from her.

 

 _The radio_.

 

She used her good arm and dragged herself towards it as quickly as she could. She grabbed onto the radio like it was her lifeline, pressed the button, and prayed Biggs and Wedge could hear her. “Hello? Biggs? Wedge?”

 

“La—dy A is that you?” It was Biggs.

 

She could have burst into sobs. “Yes. I need you to fly to the marketplace as fast as you can.”

 

“—orry, . . . hard to hear. . . At the . . . place?”

 

“The marketplace, yes, yes.”

 

“All right. – our way. Sit tight, Lady A.”

 

Aranea breathed out a sigh of relief. With the radio still in hand, she dragged herself back to Specs. “OK,” she told him. “They’re coming. Biggs and Wedge. We’re going to get you out, and we’re going to get you help. Just hold on a little longer.”

 

He didn’t answer. At this point, she wasn’t sure if he was aware of anything, really. She laced her fingers between his and waited. She laid her head on his chest and listened to it beat, soft but steady. _Keep going_ , she thought. Her whole body felt so heavy, she didn’t know if she could get back up. That was OK. Specs was going to be all right. Biggs and Wedge were coming . . . They were coming . . . and . . .

 

~+~

 

Her mother was singing again, the same sad song. Bottles rattled around the floor as she shuffled in a strange dance, seeing people that weren’t there. Aranea sat outside the door, just in case her mother fell. Just in case she was needed.

 

Specs sat beside her and she leaned her head on him. “Does it ever stop?” she asked.

 

“I think that’s up to you,” he replied.

 

“She’s my mother.” Like that answer justified everything.

“And you did not put the bottle in her hand.”

 

“Why didn’t I ever try to help her?”

 

“You couldn’t,” he said.

 

She heard a bottle crash to the floor. Her mother fell and started sobbing.

 

“This is when she dies,” Aranea said. “She cut her wrists open by accident. What a fucking way to go.”

 

“How did you feel when it happened?”

 

Aranea thought for a long while. Her mother started choking like she had swallowed glass. “I don’t know. How do you feel about someone who was never really there?”

 

“You do your best.”

 

Soon her mother stilled and the scent of blood hovered in the air.

 

“Are we dead?” Aranea finally asked. “Did I fail?”

 

“What makes you ask that?”

 

“I don’t know. I didn’t know you when my mother died. And I was much younger. What is this? Why am I reliving this with you?”

 

“You didn’t want history to repeat itself. You loved your mother, and if you could have, you would have saved her. The phones were dead and you used toilet paper on her cuts. She told you to never leave the house alone, so you didn’t. You hoped someone would come along. You’ve been hoping that your whole life.”

 

“How do you know that?” Aranea asked, looking up at him.

 

He smiled and it was so bright it was blinding. Pain suddenly gripped her muscles and she couldn’t move.

 

“Because I’m not him, am I?”

 

~+~

 

Aranea slowly opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was an open window. It was a bright, sunny day and a nice breeze was blowing into her unfamiliar room. She wanted to sit up and take in her surroundings but her whole body felt like it had been stabbed with a thousand needles. When she caught a glance at her shoulder, she saw there was a thick bandage wrapped around it. There was an old bloodstain there. She groaned.

 

Somebody was sitting at the edge of her bed, and that person stirred when she made a sound. She caught a glimpse of a familiar shirt but she wasn’t sure . . . she had to ask. “Am I still dreaming?”

 

“Afraid not,” Specs said. “But it’s good to have you back with us.”

 

This time, Aranea bolted upright. She winced from the pain, but right now that hardly mattered. “Oh, gods, Specs. You’re OK?” She couldn’t see his face, but . . . he was sitting there and . . . gods, she could have started sobbing again.

 

“I’m OK,” he said.

 

Aranea laughed with relief. “I really thought that –”

 

She stopped when he turned his head to look at her. Instead of his glasses, he was wearing shades. They didn’t do a very good job of covering the scars around his eyes. She nearly reached out to touch his face, but forced herself not to.

 

“Your eyes,” she said.

 

He seemed embarrassed that she’d pointed this out, and she wished she’d said nothing.

 

“It’s just a flesh wound,” he said, smiling.

 

She almost wanted to hit him. “But you can still see, right? You can see me?”

 

Specs hung his head and paused for a long time. “No. At least not yet. There’s still a chance my sight could return. For now, unfortunately . . .”

 

Aranea shook her head vehemently, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “You’re lying,” she said softly.

 

“It is what I was told,” he insisted.

 

Something was clawing at her chest. Her hands were shaking and she tried to steady them by gripping the sheets. “Why did you come back?” she asked. She was starting to become hysterical, but she didn’t know how to stop.

 

“You were in trouble.”

 

“But you didn’t know that until you were there. I told you to leave. I . . . Why didn’t you just . . .?” The air was suddenly thin. Panic twisted in her gut and her chest was on fire.

 

“Aranea.”

 

“Fuck, fuck, this always happens, I always fuck things up, oh, gods, you should have just left me there.”

 

“Aranea,” he said again, more gently this time, but she didn’t want to hear it. All she could think about was what she ruined. What if he could never cook again? And even if he could, he’d never be able to see the faces of the people he cooked for? What if he couldn’t even fight anymore? What the fuck had she been thinking?

 

“I’m sorry,” she said again. She said it over and over and she knew it wasn’t going to be enough.

 

She then felt his gloved hands on her cheeks, steadying her. He brushed away her tears with his thumbs and she felt like she just wanted to die. She kept gasping for air, but she was listening because she owed him that much. “Aranea, listen to me. You are not to blame for what happened. I was the one who decided to return, and I was the one who decided to push you out of the way. If it hadn’t been for you, I would probably be dead, much less without eye sight, and no use to anyone. Grow calm. Breathe.”

 

Aranea trembled as she caught her breath. Though her panic subsided, it was quickly replaced with a deep sadness that she had never acknowledged until now. She burst into tears and started sobbing. Specs put his arms around her and drew her close. She rested her head on his chest and clutched at his shirt. She felt one of his hands stroking her hair back, and for some reason, that eased some of her pain.

 

“Why don’t you fucking hate me?” she asked, sniffling like a stupid child.

 

“Probably because I’m not capable of it when it comes to you,” he said.

 

“Why?”

 

He paused. “I don’t know. Do you want me to stay with you?”

 

She nodded and then said, “Yes. But if you have to –”

 

“I don’t have to do anything. I’m choosing to do this for you.”

 

He helped her lay back down before lying beside her. Then he drew her close to him again.

 

“I think I fucked up your shirt,” Aranea said.

 

“Snot a problem,” he replied.

 

Aranea winced. “Oh, _wow_. That was _really bad_.”

 

“I know,” he said with a laugh.

 

“You’re so goddamn terrible.”

 

“I know,” he said again.

 

“Where are we, anyway?”

 

“The house where we had the bachelor party. We thought it would be safest for us here.”

 

“Oh. Everybody else is all right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good.”

They laid in silence for some time. Every now and then he’d brush her hair back, and Aranea’s heart would beat a little harder at his touch. What were they doing? Aranea didn’t know, but she wasn’t going to say anything, either. She didn’t want this to stop.

 

“Are you all right?” Specs suddenly asked.

 

Aranea nodded, and then remembered once again that he couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I’m just tired.”

 

“You probably could do with more rest. Don’t worry, I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

 

Aranea shifted a little to get comfortable, and then closed her eyes. After perhaps a minute or so, she felt his gloved hand rest on her cheek, and she smiled.

 

She wasn’t sure if she was meant to hear what he said next, but it made her stomach tumble when she did.

 

“I’m glad you pulled through. And I would make those choices again if I had to.”


	8. Welcome to the Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Expect regular updates from now on. I missed you all! 
> 
> Also, I expect the next chapter will jump right into Cartanica. I was going to add a whole scene on the train, but I realized it wouldn't add much to the story, plus we need to get to the good stuff, amirite?

Aranea slowly woke to the sharp smell of spice and a red band of sunlight streaming through the window. When she opened her eyes, she could see that Specs was still there, breathing softly, still probably asleep. His sunglasses were slightly askew, revealing more of the scars. The ones he took for her.

 

_Why?_

Their hands were still intertwined. Aranea idly brushed one of his knuckles with her thumb. A part of her urged to remove his glove, but she stopped herself. She gently loosened her fingers from his and studied him for a long time. The lines of his face, the way his jacket fit over his shoulders, the way he slept, peacefully in spite of all they’d been through. Her heart pounded fiercely, and then swelled with an unfamiliar feeling that she was certain she knew the name of. She just didn’t want to admit it.

 

She reached out towards his face, slowly so as not to wake him. What would it hurt if she touched him just once? Creepy? Sure, but while he was sleeping, he would never know, just like the kiss he didn’t mention. He would never need to know of her own desires rustling inside her like leaves in the wind. Her hand trembled a little as she moved closer. Her fingers hovered just above his cheek.

 

A phone started ringing.

 

Aranea gasped and froze, and then immediately retracted her hand back towards herself and closed her eyes. Silly, she knew, since he wouldn’t be able to see her, but she felt that it was just better that she didn’t see him right now. She heard him stir awake and shift beside her. Aranea tried to remain as still as possible as he sat up. She opened one eye slightly and saw him dig into his pocket for his phone.

 

“Yes?” Specs said softly. Trying not to wake Aranea probably.

Aranea couldn’t hear who was on the other end.

 

“Quite considerate of you,” Specs replied. He paused. “Yes, I’ll be down in a few minutes. No, that won’t be necessary. She’s not . . . It’s best that we don’t extend that invitation.” He sighed. Aranea recognized his sigh to mean that he was getting pissed. She wondered who “she” was, though part of her could guess that it was herself. “Right, then.” He hung up.

 

Yep, definitely pissed.

 

He was startled when Aranea suddenly asked, “Who was that?”

 

He turned to face her. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“You didn’t. Is everything OK?”

 

“I was just going downstairs to get some supper. Are you hungry?”

 

“Oh, you cooked?”

 

He pressed his lips together like he was holding back something. “No,” he said finally.

 

“I-I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. You’re not the only one that . . . that brought it up.”

 

Aranea felt a sudden chill and hugged herself. “Yeah, I could eat something. I’ll just –”

 

“No, don’t get up. I’ll bring it to you.”

 

“Wait, what? I can –”

 

“You shouldn’t be moving around as you are,” he said vehemently.

 

“And you should be bringing up plates of food up the stairs?” Aranea fired back.

 

“I am perfectly capable of handling it,” Specs said, and she could sense a hint of a bite to his words. He reached for his cane and stood, a little unsteady at first, but he made sure to right himself quickly.

 

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” Aranea said, but she could tell he was no longer listening. He was already opening the bedroom door.

 

“I shall return shortly,” he said before Aranea could stop him. He shut the door behind him.

 

Aranea angrily threw the covers off of herself and attempted to get up, but was gripped by a white hot pain in her left hip. She gritted her teeth, and when she looked down she saw it was also wrapped in a thick bandage. She forced herself to stand anyway, but then she quickly fell back on the bed. She was panting from the exertion, angry and Ravus and herself and Specs, too, because what gave him the right to be so fucking stupid?

A few minutes later she heard a rattling outside her door. Specs fumbled a bit but managed to get it open. He somehow managed to balance a large tray with two plates of food with one hand and his cane in the other. Aranea just shook her head.

 

“You really didn’t have to do that,” she said.

 

He ignored her. He carefully set the tray on the bed and sat on the edge. He seemed slightly out of breath, but Aranea knew better than to point that out. She merely picked up a fork and started digging in.

 

“Thought you’d be eating with your boys,” she said through a mouthful of steak, just to irritate him a bit more.

 

He frowned. “They are spending time in their own way,” he said. He folded a napkin on his lap before eating, and Aranea had to admit she kind of found it a little charming.

 

“Are you sure everything is OK?” Aranea asked as she watched him slowly cut his meat.

 

“Yes, everything is fine. We all just need some time to recover.”

 

They ate in an awkward silence. Aranea would catch a glimpse of Specs’ face every now and then, trying to see whatever it was he was hiding. Every now and then his brow would crease as if a troubling thought had passed his mind, but it was almost like a blink. Aranea knew better than to try and help him with his meal, but she really wanted to. She had to admire his determination, though, even if he was being a bit stupid.

 

“So what’s going to happen now?” she asked. “Once everyone’s recovered.”

 

Specs wiped his mouth before responding. “We’re going to take a train to one of the royal tombs. Then we’re stopping in Tenebrae for a bit.”

 

“What’s in Tenebrae?”

 

He paused before answering. “The . . . former home of the Nox Fleuret’s.”

 

“Oh.” Ravus’ former home. “So I take it they’re still getting hitched?”

 

Specs set his fork down. “Lady Lunafreya is . . . no longer with us.”

 

Aranea was so stunned by the news that she almost couldn’t comprehend it. “Oh. Shit, I’m sorry. I . . . fuck. Things are pretty fucked up right now, huh?”

 

“Maybe. I don’t see how they could get worse. But there’s always a chance they could get better.”

 

Well, she supposed somebody had to be optimistic. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that was unlikely. There was something about his insistence to be positive that she found oddly charming. Did this guy have any faults, or was he just born in a perfect factory? Or maybe she was just blinded (no pun intended) by the fact that he was always kind to her, always there when she needed somebody. Her mind inadvertently went back to the kiss and she blinked it away before she could start blushing.

 

“So when you say ‘we’ are going, you mean . . .?” Aranea asked, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

 

“The four of us, as per usual,” Specs replied.

 

“So you’re going into the tomb?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But . . . but you can’t.”

 

“And why not?” His question was posed more like a challenge, like he was daring her to state the obvious.

 

“Maybe because you can’t see, and there will probably be daemons in there. How are you going to fight?”

 

“Like I always have,” he insisted. “I’ll just have to rely on something other than my eyesight.”

 

Aranea couldn’t help it; her temper flared faster than she could stamp it out. “Are you fucking serious? Are your friends going to allow you to go with them?”

 

She saw the hard lines of his jaw when he clenched it. “They don’t _allow_ me to do anything. I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, as you are well enough aware.”

 

Aranea didn’t know why, but those words stung a bit. “Let me go with you guys.”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“You are better off remaining here.”

 

“So you’re the only one that gets to act like an adult?” Aranea’s tone was pure venom. “I’m not the one who’s a fucking liability, OK?”

 

Specs flinched as if she’d slapped him, and Aranea knew she had gone too far. Specs abruptly stood and gathered their plates. “Well, if you are done,” he said in a clipped tone.

 

“Wait . . . I . . . I didn’t . . . mean that,” Aranea said.

 

“I know perfectly well what you meant,” he replied.

 

“I just don’t want you to go out and kill yourself. What are you even trying to prove?”

 

“I’m not set out to prove anything. The king requires my assistance and I will give it.”

 

“Then the king is just a fucking asshole. You don’t always have to do what he says.”

 

“And what would you rather I do instead? Stay here and entertain you? Lie in bed and lament my situation?”

 

“Of course not. I’m just saying that I . . . that it would be really shitty if something happened to you. If we didn’t get to . . . If you didn’t come back. OK?”

 

There was a tense silence for several seconds. Then Specs took up the tray, the complete picture of a fucking robot.

 

“I appreciate your concern, but I will be fine. It doesn’t change the fact that I still need to be there for them.”

 

Aranea shook her head and looked towards the window. “Yeah, that whole ‘taking up roles’ thing. I remember,” she said bitterly.

 

“And I . . .” He stopped, and for a second, Aranea thought he would just leave it at that. Then he said, “I will see you later. Well, you will see me. Later. Or at least I will try to stop by before we –”

 

“Don’t bother,” Aranea snapped. “Just go.”

 

Another tense moment of silence followed. While Aranea wasn’t looking at him directly, she could feel his presence in the room, like a sudden heat when you opened the oven. She was about to shout at him to leave, but then he turned his back on her and did just that.

 

When she was alone, Aranea wrapped her arms around herself and just tried not to think about it. Why should she give a shit about someone who clearly wanted to die? And yet she couldn’t help it; her mind went back to when they slept beside each other and her heart jumped. And then it broke because she was probably never going to see him again. Gods, it really sucked. Feeling like this. Powerless. Alone. Unwanted. She thought she was done with all that the moment she drove her lance into Ravus, but here she was again. She flopped back onto the pillows. She could still smell Specs, almost like he was a ghost haunting her.

 

That night she couldn’t sleep. She kept visioning scenarios where Specs got himself killed and how she would never get to tell him that she was sorry for being such a bitch to him. She kept going between those thoughts and returning to the moment where he put his arms around her. She couldn’t believe she cried in front of him.

 

Aranea was startled by a knock at her door. She didn’t know what time it was, but her room was pitch black; she could barely see her own hands in front of her face. She sat up.

 

The door slightly opened and a voice whispered, “Lady A?”

 

“Wedge?”

 

He entered the room and quickly closed the door behind him. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a bomb,” she said with a straight face. “What are you doing here?”

 

He sat at the edge of her bed. “I came to return your lance.” He placed it gingerly beside her. “We found it amongst the rubble and had it cleaned for you.”

 

Aranea ran her hand along it. “Wow, this . . . is great. But they’re not going to let me go with them, in case you weren’t aware. And I don’t think I’d be welcome back to the Empire after the shit I pulled.”

 

“I, er, have something else. Biggs and I got this for you, Lady A.” He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket.

 

“I can’t see it. What is it?”

 

“A train ticket.”

 

Aranea sat in stunned silence.

 

“I know you’re still injured,” Wedge continued, “but perhaps if you warmed up tonight you’ll be ready by the time the train departs.”

 

Aranea gently pushed the ticket back towards Wedge. “This is amazing, really. But I can’t take this. You and Biggs need that money more than me.”

 

She could see the faint outline of Wedge shaking his head. “No, Lady A. Our job first and foremost is to protect you. You will be safer the farther away you get. Don’t worry about us, we will be all right. We want you to be happy and live your life.”

 

Aranea teared up a little. “I . . . I don’t know what to say. I . . . wait, you know about . . . y’know, Specs and everything?”

 

“It doesn’t take a god to see how you feel about him. And we believe he needs you more than he lets on.”

 

Aranea felt a blush creep up to her cheeks. “And here I thought I was good at poker faces.”

 

Wedge laughed. “Having been at your side for years, Biggs and I would like to think we know you better than anyone.”

 

Aranea threw her arms around him and held on tight. “You two better take good care of yourselves,” she whispered. “If I hear that either one of you has died, I will chase you in the afterlife myself.”

 

“Don’t worry, Lady A. We know how to disappear.”

 

When Aranea pulled back, she realized that she still didn’t quite know the whole story. “How did you know they were leaving by train? Did you ask them?”

 

“Oh . . . um . . . about that . . .”

 

Aranea raised her right eyebrow. “What did you do?”

 

“Well, we came to your room to check on you. Everybody else was busy, and, well, we didn’t mean to invade your privacy, Lady A.”

 

“You saw us, didn’t you?”

 

“Er, yes. We were going to leave right away, but . . . it was Biggs’ idea. He, um, looked through that man’s phone.”

 

Aranea burst out laughing. “You two are crazy.”

 

“Anyway, Lady A. We think you joining them would be the best thing for you.”

 

“I really . . . I don’t know how to thank you enough. You saved our asses back there, and . . . you guys, you were always there for me. I can’t . . .”

 

“Take it, Lady A. And be safe.”

 

After one last embrace, Wedge left her with the ticket. Aranea brushed away a few tears and immediately moved so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She used her lance to stand, and while it felt like knives were carving into her hip, she remained standing. Aranea took a moment to catch her breath. _I survived the bomb_ , she thought. _That was the hardest part. Remember that._

 

She had a lot of work to do, and little time to do it.

 

~+~

 

Aranea walked with a slight limp as fast as she could through the crowd. They were already calling for passengers to board the train, but she hadn’t found the boys yet. She gritted her teeth and used her lance to keep herself upright. She had to shove a few people out of the way; she didn’t have time to worry about manners and shit like that.

 

Finally, she caught a glimpse of muscle-head Gladio and sped up to stop him and the boys from getting on. “Your majesty!” she called out. Thankfully, the king stopped just before taking the first step onto the train.

 

“Your majesty!” She slowed to a stop a few meters in front of them and took a moment to catch her breath.

 

“Aranea?”

 

She saw Specs stiffen slightly, clearly still pissed at her. Fine, whatever.

 

“Yeah, good to see you, too,” Aranea said quickly. She recalled the words she recited in her head last night. “I wanted to pledge my services to you and your . . . comrades.” She almost said boy band. That would have been great.

 

“Services?” the king asked.

 

“I was always saying we needed a woman’s touch in this group,” Prompto said with a large smile.

 

“Yeah, well, I can fight,” Aranea said. “If you need anything else, though, I can always offer up my wit and sarcasm.”

 

The king looked to his friends. “What say you guys?”

 

Gladio was the first to speak. “I vote no. She’s already caused enough trouble for all of us.”

 

All right, that was to be expected, and Aranea could hardly blame him.

 

“I vote yes,” Prompto offered. “We should never turn down free help, especially . . .” His cheeks turned a bright red and he avoided making direct eye contact with everyone. “Especially from this pretty lady,” he said with a forced laugh.

 

“Flattery will always get you somewhere, kid,” Aranea said with a wink.

 

Everyone then turned to Specs, who had both hands resting on the top of his cane. Aranea wanted to say something to him, but couldn’t quite think of the words. She swallowed a lump in her throat that tasted like metal.

 

Specs sighed. “If it were my decision, I would say no.”

 

The words were sharp enough to cut deep. Aranea winced and hoped nobody else noticed.

 

“Why?” the king asked.

 

“You didn’t ask them why,” Specs replied.

 

“They still gave their reasons.”

 

“It isn’t necessary.”

 

“Your majesty –” Aranea began.

 

“Just call me Noct.”

 

“Oh . . . ok. Your majesty, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I promise this isn’t a trick or a game to me. I . . . I will pledge my life if I have to.”

 

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Noct said. “I guess the final decision _does_ fall on me though.” He tapped his index finger against his chin as though he was thinking long and hard about this.

 

“The train is about to leave us,” Specs reminded him.

 

“Hm.” Then Noct snapped his fingers. “Aranea, welcome to the team.”

Gladio shook his head. Prompto looked like he was going to die from happiness. And Specs? He looked like he’d just been stabbed in the back more than once.

 

“Come on, Aranea, you can sit beside me,” Prompto said, grabbing her wrist and leading her onto the train.

 

“Sounds great,” she replied. She cast one glance at Specs before walking past him. She didn’t say a word.


	9. On My Mind

After spending about an hour in each other’s company (mostly in silence), they went their separate ways. Aranea sat alone in the dining compartment, nursing a cup of strong tea while scanning the papers for any signs of strange daemon activity, or Ardyn. The longer she found nothing, the more her mind wandered. Mostly back to Specs. God this sucked. She wished she could just reach inside herself and yank out the parts that yearned to be loved back.

 

“Hey, do you mind if I join you?”

 

Aranea looked up to see Prompto, looking especially troubled. “Of course, kid. You hardly need to ask me that.”

 

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone like everyone else,” he said as he took a seat across from her. He folded his hands on top of the table and stared at them like he expected them to grow an extra finger.

 

“Need something to eat?” Aranea asked. “A beer, maybe?”

 

“Oh, no, thanks. It’s just . . . things are really weird now, and I don’t really know what to do.” He twiddled his thumbs. “I’m scared the group is falling apart.”

 

“I’m sure that wouldn’t happen. You guys are practically inseparable.”

 

“We used to be. Now, nobody wants to talk. Everybody wants to act like nothing is different, but everything is different. Even Iggy, and he used to just talk to me about whatever. Mostly just give me advice.”

 

Aranea frowned. “Well, a lot of shitty things have happened, kid. People deal with it in their own way.”

 

“I just wish that they didn’t shut me out.”

 

“Maybe they’re trying to protect you. They don’t want you to get hurt by something stupid they might say or do.”

 

“I guess.” He paused for a second. “Can I ask you something?”

 

Aranea took a long sip of tea before responding. “As long as I don’t have to answer it if I don’t feel like it.”

 

“O-OK. Um . . . Are you pissed at Iggy?”

 

Aranea was immediately going to say no, but she knew that was a lie, and she didn’t want to lie to the kid. “Considering he’s going on a suicide mission, yeah, I’d say I am.”

 

“So you’re not together anymore?”

 

Aranea nearly spat out her tea. “Together? We’re not together. We’re friends. Friends fight. Friends do stupid shit to each other. I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually.”

 

“Oh . . . well, I wouldn’t be too hard on him.”

 

“Because he’s blind now?”

 

“No . . . because, well . . . Iggy would kill me if I told you, so if you could just not mention it to him, that would be great.” He waited a moment, but Aranea said nothing. “You were actually in a lot worse condition than Iggy was. You’d lost a lot of blood. Doctors weren’t sure you were going to make it. It kind of drove him a little crazy, not being able to be in the same room as you. Once you’d pulled through, he was in your room practically every day. He wouldn’t want you to know because he’s not so good at saying how he feels about things, and he wouldn’t want you to worry about him. But, speaking personally, I’d never seen him like that. It was a little scary, actually. Nobody knew what was going to happen if you didn’t make it.”

 

Aranea couldn’t look Prompto in the eye, worried that he’d see her blush or something. “I’m sure he would have been OK,” she said.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

Aranea shook her head. “Why the hell would he care so much about someone he barely knows?”

 

“Because, actually, before Altissia, I think you saved him.”

 

“From what?”

 

Prompto smiled. “Himself.”

 

~+~

 

Four hours later, the train stopped, and Aranea and the boys walked down the ramps towards the mine elevator that would take them into the tomb. Prompto was helping Specs with gentle pats of assurance on his back. Everyone else was sullen and silent. In the elevator, Aranea was standing a few inches away from Specs. She looked up at his face, dying to say something. To apologize, maybe. But a part of her didn’t want to. She just wanted them to be OK. She wanted him to be OK. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. The elevator squealed and slowly made its descent. Aranea thought to reach for his hand, but she felt utterly paralyzed. Soon, they were plunged into darkness and Aranea felt the moment had passed.

 

The king – Noct – passed her a flashlight and she clipped it to her shirt before clicking it on. She realized she was wearing that shirt Specs had given her when he drove her home that first time. She turned to him to make a comment, but the door screeched open and he was already walking on without her. Prompto glanced back at her and shrugged by way of apology. Aranea sighed and followed them.

 

Everyone walked along the dirt path in a slow, steady pace. Probably so Specs wouldn’t fall behind. If he noticed, he said nothing, though Aranea saw his brow furrow occasionally. Obviously frustrated. When he fell, Aranea instinctively reached out to grab him, but Prompto was always there to catch him before he hurt himself.

 

“I’m _fine_ ,” Specs said through his teeth after the third time.

 

“He’s just trying to help,” Aranea said.

 

“He’s getting in the way,” Specs snapped.

 

Prompto took a step back. The hurt on his face made anger flare up strong and fast in Aranea.

 

“That’s not fair to say,” Aranea said. “He’s worried about you. He wants to make sure you’re safe. You can be pissed off all you want, but taking it out on the kid isn’t going to make anything better.”

 

“I-it’s OK, Aranea, really,” Prompto said, grabbing her sleeve and pulling her back.

 

“Just because he’s angry doesn’t give him the right to talk to you that way,” Aranea said.

 

“He doesn’t mean it. Right, Iggy?” Prompto said.

 

“Right,” Specs said in a low tone. Then he added, “Apologies.”

 

“No harm done,” Prompto said with a smile. He turned to Aranea. “See? We’re OK.”

 

_Maybe you two are_ , Aranea thought as they kept moving.

 

The path ended at a pool of ankle-deep water. The mud made it hard to see if anything was lurking beneath, so they moved even slower than before. Aranea’s eyes shifted from looking ahead, to looking at her feet. She tightly gripped her lance.

 

“Think the Empire got the daemons here, too?” Prompto asked.

 

“Maybe,” Aranea said. “But I don’t –”

 

A Gurangatch leapt from the water, its mouth wide open, ready to swallow Aranea. She pierced its chest with her lance and brought it down. All around them the water was bubbling, like something was boiling beneath.

 

“What is it?” Specs asked.

 

“Something bad,” Prompto said.

 

Then all hell broke loose. Gurangatches attacked from all sides and everyone had to scramble to make some room to attack. Aranea kept close to Specs, slightly hoping to regain some of that magic they had when they fought together, but she doubted he even knew she was at his side. He batted a Gurangatch away with his cane, and Aranea followed up by stabbing it in the head. Not the same, but close enough.

 

“ _Ignis, duck!”_ Aranea shouted as she threw her spear at an upcoming Gurangatch. It’s jaw was inches away from Specs’ head, but he got out of the way just in time and Aranea’s lance directly hit the beast’s throat. Out of the corner of her eye, another one leapt out of the water and crashed into her. She fell with the beast on top of her, her head completely submerged and the beast’s teeth right by her face. She wrestled it back as best she could, but the lack of oxygen was making everything feel fuzzy and disorienting. She moved her legs out from under it and kicked it as hard as she could.

 

_Enough of this shit_.

 

She reached up and grabbed the top half of his mouth with one hand, and the bottom with the other. She wrenched its head to the side and effectively snapped its neck like a twig. Then she angrily shoved it off and sat up, taking a deep lungful of air.

 

“Aranea, you OK?” Prompto asked.

 

Aranea coughed and spat out dirty water. “Yeah, I’m fine. Fucking asshole thing.”

 

Prompto was at her side and helped her up. It seemed the rest of the Gurangatches were dead.

 

“Well,” Aranea said as she walked over to grab her lance, “that was certainly exciting.”

 

~+~

 

They made camp after two more hours of venturing. Aranea thought the earlier fight would have loosened the guys up, but it only seemed to make things more melancholic. Prompto was looking between a sad can of “meat” and cup noodles to eat. After Gladio helped Specs sit in a chair, he walked off, and the king was just looking out into the darkness.

 

“God this is so fucking depressing,” Aranea muttered to herself as she stood up. She walked over to Prompto. “Can I borrow your camera? Promise you’ll get it back in mint condition.”

 

“Uh – sure.” He handed it over to her.

 

“Nice.” Aranea raised it to her face, aimed at Prompto, and took a picture. “Gotcha.”

 

“Hey, wait, I wasn’t ready.” Prompto tried to take the camera from her, but Aranea wasn’t having it.

 

Gladio wandered back to the camp and Aranea took a surprise picture of him, too.

 

“Nice face,” Aranea said.

 

“Prompto you better have that shit deleted by the time you get your camera back,” Gladio said.

 

Aranea ducked and wove out of Prompto’s reach, snapping random pictures every chance she could. She even managed to sneak one of Specs.

 

“Hey, hey, lemme get one of you, now,” Prompto said.

 

“Hmm . . . OK. But only if you give me Gladio’s picture for later.” She winked, handing the camera back.

 

“Prompto, I don’t want to see that picture,” Gladio said.

 

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m gonna delete it.” He looked through the pictures with the widest smile on his face. He smirked when he reached Gladio’s photo. “Oh, boy, she captured your good side perfectly, big guy.”

 

“Goddamnit.”

 

Even the king had a good laugh at that.

 

Aranea burst out laughing and Prompto took a picture. “No, no, no,” Aranea protested. “That one needs to be deleted too.”

 

“No way.”

 

Aranea started making random, ugly faces as Prompto kept snapping away. “Think I can be Lestallum’s next great model?” she asked with a pout.

 

“Definitely. Now give me something dramatic.”

 

“Dramatic, huh?” Aranea then sprawled on the floor and stuck her tongue out. “Help me, help me, I’m dying!”

 

“Wow you’re really selling me on this one,” Prompto said, bending down to take a good shot.

 

Aranea made a sound halfway between a frog and a zombie, but she couldn’t keep it up. She laughed halfway through it.

 

Everyone jumped when a can of food was slammed against the ground. Specs was on his feet and even though she couldn’t see his eyes, Aranea knew he was livid as all hell.

 

“That’s _enough_ ,” he said evenly. “I have no earthly idea what’s compelled you all to act this way, but it isn’t funny in the slightest.”

 

The silence that followed seemed deadly. Aranea slowly got to her feet and said, “I was just trying to lighten the–”

 

“ _Don’t._ You’re not even supposed to be here.”

 

Aranea blanched.

 

“Maybe . . . maybe we should all just take a break or something,” Prompto said.

 

“It’s all right, kid,” Aranea said. She walked right up to Specs and said, “I know you didn’t want me here. You’ve made that clear enough without even directly telling me. You could have saved us a lot of trouble if you had just opened your fucking mouth and said it.”

 

He sighed heavily. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

“Oh really? Why don’t you admit you wanted to get rid of me this whole time?” This is how it always was, at least for Aranea, and once she had cracked open, everything had come spilling out. “You’re always so concerned about how nice you are, how about some fucking honesty for once in your fucking life? Just admit that you’re pissed at me for what happened to you, and every day you wake up and can’t see you resent me for –”

 

“Stop _talking_.” Specs slammed his cane on the ground so hard Aranea thought it was going to break. Aranea was so stunned she did just that. Specs took a deep breath to calm himself.

 

“I want to make something very clear to you,” he said. “That day, in Altissia, I saw Ardyn’s ship flying towards Noct and Lady Lunafreya. I saw that we were going to be too late. And so, yes, I did go back for you. I went back and that was my final decision. The only thing I regret is that I failed you make you understand, to the point where you believe in all this nonsense you insist on spouting out. I went back for _you_. Do you understand, now, what I’m telling you?”

 

Aranea studied his face, searching for a reason to still be pissed, and maybe she could find just one and fuck everything else. The only thing she understood was that he felt like he had to save somebody in the shit storm. Might as well have been her.

 

“Are you done?” Aranea asked, crossing her arms.

 

“Am I d –” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Then he said, “Yes, I’m done.”

 

“Good. So am I.”

 

Aranea turned her back on him.

 

~+~

 

After taking some time to rest, they kept on, and as they neared the tomb, the water rose higher until it was up to their knees. Other than the Gurangatches from earlier, they hadn’t encountered anything particularly sinister. Aranea’s hurt feelings were still harbored deep in her gut, and as she watched Specs move on without her (with some help from Prompto, of course), she desperately wanted to take back everything she had said. She wanted things to be like before, even if it had been fake. Even if he was just being nice. She would have given anything for him to get his eyesight back, even give up her own.

 

Suddenly, Gladio stopped. His hands were balled into fists and he shook his head. Though he’d never admit it, Aranea could sense the hurt in his words. It was a pain that ran deep in everyone. “When are you all going to stop and admit that this is a terrible fucking idea?”

 

Everyone stopped and turned toward him. “What’s up, now?” Noct asked.

 

“You do, all of us do. We keep dancing around it like it doesn’t matter when it does.”

 

“You’re referring to me, I take it,” Specs said softly.

 

“You said your eyesight was coming back. It’s been how long now? And you’re still stumbling around. Admit that you were lying to us the whole time. Admit that it’s never coming back and you’re probably out of the game while we’re still playing it.”

 

“I’m not backing out of this.”

 

“Yeah, well, maybe you should.”

 

Even Aranea flinched at that. As much as she wanted to protect Specs, she couldn’t imagine him not being with the group.

 

“Why isn’t anybody else thinking about stopping him?” Gladio nearly shouted. He turned to Aranea. “Especially you?”

 

“You don’t think I haven’t tried?” Aranea bit back. “None of us can stop him at this point. He . . . he’s walking his own path his own way. It’d be worse if he sat on the sidelines.”

 

“She’s right, big guy,” Prompto said. “We can’t leave our Iggy behind. We need him.”

 

“To do what?”

 

Prompto faltered. Even Noct looked at a loss.

 

Aranea, however, knew the answer. “To keep you guys together.” She looked at each of them. “As much as I would gladly take his place in battle, I can’t fill the gap he’d leave here.” She focused on Specs as she said that. It wasn’t exactly an apology, and she doubted it would make up for any argument they’d had, but she knew it had to be said.

 

“Aranea,” Specs said, and at the sound of her name, she felt her heart jump. “If I can’t keep up, then I would ask that you take my place with them.”

 

“Uhh . . . I just said –”

 

“I know what you said. But keeping them together isn’t as important as keeping them alive.” He tried to smile but failed. “You . . . are a formidable fighter, and I trust that you would keep them safe as I would.”

 

“You’re not saying you’re giving up. Right?”

 

It was quiet for a long time. Aranea tightened her grip on her lance and then finally said, “I’ll keep them safe with all I’ve got. Though my cooking skills are less than mediocre.”

 

“Never too late to learn,” he said, and then kept on walking.

 

And that was the end to that.

 

~+~

 

Back on the train, Aranea stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around her hair. She donned a simple tank top and underwear just as she heard a knock at her door.

 

“Just a second,” she said, scrambling to find some pants.

 

The door slid open.

 

“All right, then, guess I’ll go fuck myself.” She turned and there was Specs. He shut the door behind him.

 

“Do you mind?” he asked.

 

Aranea shrugged before she remembered he couldn’t see it. “You’re in here, now.”

 

He was quiet for some time. Aranea sat on her bed and waited.

 

“Do you think I’ve failed them?” he finally asked.

 

It took Aranea a moment to process the question. “Of course not. You couldn’t fail them if you tried.”

 

“I figured you would say that. But . . . you were right. Back at the house. I’ve become a . . . liability, now.”

 

Aranea swallowed. “You just . . . you need to learn to work with what you have.”

 

“And I was – am. But I fear that I have made things unfair in the process.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I was not fully prepared to go into that tomb. Couldn’t hit anything, even if it was right in front of me. And then I heard you go down and I . . . I could do nothing.”

 

“It’s not –”

 

“My uncle died, and I could do nothing. Lunafreya is gone, and I could do nothing.” He clenched and unclenched his hands several times. “I have always been the reliable one. I always knew what to do in those situations. But in those moments, I felt . . .”

 

“You didn’t let anybody down,” Aranea said gently. “Everyone is just scared. They’re scared to lose you in more ways than one.” She felt herself blush. “Me included. That’s why I was being such a bitch to you. I don’t want you to get hurt and I don’t want you to quit. That would be really shitty.”

“Do you still believe I blame you?”

 

Aranea felt shame stain her skin like ink. “No. I guess not. I . . . I knew what you meant. I just didn’t want to.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I don’t want to get attached or anything. But I’m afraid that’s kind of passed, now.”

 

“I think that’s true for the both of us.”

 

Aranea’s back straightened. “Oh.”

 

“I couldn’t go to anyone else and say these things. You were the first person I thought of.” He smiled at her and it seemed genuine. “I’m sorry if I worried you,” he added.

 

“That’s . . . well, it’s not OK, exactly, but you don’t have to apologize.”

 

“I only wish I knew what to do now. About everything. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

Aranea got out of bed, walked over to him, and hugged him. It seemed slightly more appropriate than last time. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked. “I know this all sucks, but maybe I could help make it suck a little less?”

 

She felt him return the embrace and her heart started thumping a little harder.

 

“This is nice,” he said.

 

Aranea flinched a little when she thought she felt his lips on her shoulder. That had to have been her imagination, though heat still bloomed under her skin.

 

After a moment, Specs pulled back a little, his hands still flat on her back. “Why did you kiss me back in Altissia?”

 

Wow, she hadn’t been expecting that question. So he was aware of it the whole time, after all. Aranea swallowed. “Um . . . I don’t know. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Or something.” She laughed it off, but he wasn’t laughing, and that made her more nervous. “That was probably really uncalled for, so –”

 

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

Aranea’s stomach felt like it was doing gymnastics now. She wanted to say something funny or stupid or make it seem less than what it had been, but there were no words. “Oh.”

 

“I know this probably isn’t the right . . . or if you still, or if you ever, but . . . If you want me to leave, you just have to say so.”

 

Aranea searched his face. Yes, he should leave. She shouldn’t be thinking about how nice it was to be in his arms, or how she felt like she’d been waiting for this moment forever, or how she knew she’d do anything for him if only he’d ask. She shouldn’t want these things.

 

But . . . why not?

 

“Do you want me to kiss you again?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. “You know, to make sure.”

 

He seemed really flustered by her question, which she found kind of cute. “I, um . . .” He cleared his throat and his cheeks turned red and Aranea found it so adorable she could vomit. She felt all the air rush out of her lungs when he finally said, “Yes.”

 

She placed both hands on his cheeks and she noticed he was breathing a little harder than he normally did. Maybe he’d been waiting for this, too, and that thought made her smile. He pulled her a little closer and she was glad he was holding onto her because she was sure she was going to fall or collapse under the weight of her own happiness.

 

Finally, she reached up and kissed him.

 

And it was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter:
> 
> smut.


	10. Beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smutsmutsmutsmutsmutsmut
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

It started off very slow and warm. One of Specs’ gloved hands cupped her cheek while the other rested at the small of her back. Aranea pulled away for just a moment to get rid of those.

 

“Why do you always wear these?” she asked with a short laugh.

 

He was about to answer but Aranea went right back to kissing him because she honestly didn’t care enough for all that. She just wanted to stand there and keep kissing him and when she felt his hand, his touch, she got swept away. His hand moved to the back of her neck and pulled the towel off her head. That caused her to giggle against his mouth, firstly because she’d forgotten about it, and secondly because she knew it didn’t matter to him what she looked like, even if he could see. She prodded his mouth open with her tongue, and by the gods, she forgot what it had felt like to be this into someone that just feeling his tongue made her shiver. She could barely feel her own heartbeat, but she could feel his fingers as they trailed down her neck. If he kept this up, she was going to have to take another shower.

 

They broke away for air, their arms still tangled around each other. Aranea didn’t know what to say for a while, she couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. She rested her brow against his and just breathed in deep.

 

“Would you mind if I . . .” Specs cleared his throat. “Would you mind if I stayed here tonight?”

 

Aranea felt her stomach dip.

 

“I’m not implying that –”

 

Aranea kissed the tip of his nose. “Yes. You can stay. I’d like that.”

She led him to the bed and they lay close beside each other, not talking for a long time. Specs tangled his fingers in her damp hair. If he expected her to fall asleep, he’d be disappointed. Sparks coursed through her veins and she felt so alive, like something was trying to claw its way out of her.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Aranea asked him.

 

“How I’d very much like to kiss you again.”

 

“Well, less thinking and more doing is my philosophy on that.”

 

He moved his hand from her hair and up her neck to her jaw to find her lips. Aranea felt goosebumps spread across her skin.

 

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you,” Specs said softly. “I really care about you and I’ve . . . I’ve never been good at this. Being with someone.”

 

“If I felt that way, I would tell you,” Aranea said. She licked the tip of his finger. “I want you to keep kissing me. I like it. Maybe a little too much.”

 

He leaned in and kissed her and there was a hunger in it that she hadn’t expected. She felt his thumb on her pulse. His other hand moved under her to press against her back and pull her in closer. She draped her leg over him, felt his hand move down from her pulse, over her shoulder, down her arm, her hip, and then rest on her thigh.

 

He pulled back for moment, and Aranea felt the heat from his cheeks before she saw them. “Oh,” he said. “I suppose I should have given you a bit more time before I barged in.”

 

Aranea laughed. “Do you want me to pull back?”

 

“No.” He went back to kissing her again. He gripped her thigh tighter, nails biting her skin. When his lips found her throat, she let out a small noise and she wanted more of him. She found the edge of his shirt and slid her hands underneath.

 

He flinched and when he pulled back, Aranea did, too. Her hands hovered just over his stomach.

 

“You OK?” she asked.

 

“Yes, I . . . I apologize. It’s not you. I just haven’t done this before.”

 

“Oh.” Aranea definitely hadn’t expected to hear that. She’d never been in this position of power before, and her first instinct was to reject it. She knew what it was like to be on the opposite side. “Well, we don’t have to do anything. We can just keep kissing, or we can rest.”

 

“It’s not that I don’t want this or I feel uncomfortable with you. I guess you could say I’m hesitant because I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t always understand it or why I need you in my life. But I do. And I would rather know now if you don’t feel the same than dive into something we’ll both regret.”

 

“I understand,” Aranea said as she traced some of the scars from the bomb he took for her. “I don’t want to lie here and promise you forever. Hell, I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow, you know? But . . . I know I really want to be with you. And I don’t want to fuck this up.” She shyly looked away from him. “I’m not going to say this next bit so you can go jerk off later or something, but I think . . . I think you’re one of the best things to happen to me.”

 

He laughed nervously and it was so disgustingly cute. “I’m glad I could make your life at least a little better.”

 

“You have no idea. But I don’t want this to be all about wah wah Aranea’s shitty life. I just want you to know you’re pretty fucking amazing, Specs.”

 

“And you’re pretty crude. But I suppose I could be OK with that.”

 

“Wow, I give you a compliment and you just give me sass.”

 

“What would you rather have instead?”

 

_Your dick_ , she nearly said, but that was probably her libido talking. She laughed, mostly at herself. “You should probably just learn to shut up and keep kissing me, you fucking stud.”

 

“Never been called that before.”

 

“Yeah, and I bet you’ve never kissed a girl like me before.”

 

“You’re right about that.”

 

She kissed him first to shut him up. She didn’t quite know what to do with her hands, which were still under his shirt. She could feel heat rising off his skin. He moved his hand from her thigh and back up to the small of her back. Her shirt lifted slightly, exposing some of her skin and she shivered. She was doing her damndest not to pounce on top of him and ride him until they were both exhausted. She did, however, place her hands back on his stomach and ran them up to his chest. His heart was beating just as hard as hers was and they were both breathing hard and he pulled her shirt up just a little more so he could trace along the lower half of her spine.

 

She nibbled on his lower lip then moved to kiss his neck and as she did so she felt him hold onto her just a little tighter. She moved to kiss under his jaw and along his neck, lightly sucking on his Adam’s apple. She paid attention to make sure she wasn’t going too far, feeling slightly ecstatic by the reactions she was getting. Soon both of his hands were under her shirt, exploring her back.

 

Aranea slid her hands out from under his shirt and hesitated when she reached for the top button. They were both breathing like they’d been running for days.

 

She tugged on his top button so he knew what she was thinking. “Do you want me to stop?” she whispered. She noticed that he was shaking a little, probably because he was as nervous as she was, though she was a bit better about hiding it.

 

“No,” he said. “Please, don’t.”

 

Aranea moved slow, always pausing a moment to make sure he was OK with it, and then kissing the places she exposed. She felt a little delirious as she touched him, like she couldn’t really believe it was happening and he wanted this as much as she did. And by gods was she enjoying it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had, not even with Ravus, not even the first time with some guy she barely remembered. It was just so . . . real. That was the only way she could describe it. She was feeling everything, all the heat and desire and maybe even love too. When she finished unbuttoning his shirt, she pushed it off his shoulders and felt bolder than she had before. She climbed on top of him and licked his lips, playfully bit his chin, and let her hands roam where they wanted, but staying above the waist so she wasn’t crossing too many lines at once. The soft sighs and gasps he made caused Aranea to feel like she was going to explode, and the heat was so intense she felt like she almost couldn’t bear it.

 

She allowed him to easily roll over so that she was underneath him. She whimpered when she felt his tongue trail along her collarbone. His hands slid back under her shirt, all the way up until she had to sit up to take it off. His arms curled around her and he held her close for a few moments as they tried to catch their breaths. The skin-to-skin contact sent shockwaves all over Aranea’s body and she started to tremble like she was cold.

 

“You all right?” he asked her. She could almost see her own reflection in his shades. She reached up and took them off. He hesitated at first, and was going to look away, but Aranea wouldn’t let him. She took in every scar she saw, reaching up to lightly kiss a few of them.

 

“You’re just so goddamned beautiful,” Aranea said with a smile.

 

Specs laughed sheepishly. “You really think so?”  


Aranea shrugged. “You could always find out yourself.”

 

“And how would I --? Oh.” He was blushing again. So fucking cute. She could eat his face up. “I suppose you’re right.”

 

Aranea nearly held her breath as his hand curved around her side and rested at her front. His fingers strummed her ribs and she stretched out beneath him, her toes curling the lower he went. She gasped when his finger found the edge of her underwear and he lazily traced along it, clearly teasing her. She was going to say something about him having too much fun, but her mouth couldn’t quite form the words and her tongue felt like it had gone numb.

 

He kissed the space between her breasts, down to her stomach, pausing to circle his tongue around her navel, causing her to make a small noise. He grabbed her underwear with his teeth and pulled them down; she shuddered when they grazed her skin.

 

“That’s pretty bold for someone who never did this before,” Aranea said with a coy smile.

 

“Never said I was a saint,” he replied.

 

Aranea’s chuckle turned into a moan when she felt his mouth rest between her legs. He started off with small, light kisses and then gradually ran his tongue along her more sensitive areas. Aranea arched her back and grabbed a fistful of his hair and all her thoughts (which were mostly swear words) scrambled in her mind as blood and heat rushed down towards her hips. It slowly built up along her lower back, and she no longer knew if she was trying to keep him on her or push him away. She knew she was probably getting too loud, but she also didn’t really give a fuck. Have anyone who cared get someone like this to go down on them and she guaranteed they’d be making the same amount of noise.

 

Her other hand clawed at her stomach like she was trying to get the heat out.

 

She had to make him stop. If she climaxed right then, she wouldn’t have been able to go on for much longer, and she didn’t want it to end.

 

“Did I do something wr—”

 

Aranea reached down and kissed him fiercely. She could taste herself on his lips and she felt a sudden thrill. “No,” she said breathlessly. She never thought she’d say these next words out loud to anybody. “I just want you inside me.”

 

Aranea smiled when Specs blushed again, feeling no shame whatsoever at what she’d just said.

 

He cleared his throat and said, “I, um, I’m not exactly prepared for . . .”

 

“I can’t have kids,” she said quickly. She did feel a slight shame about that. Not that she wanted any kids right now, it was just that option was forever shut off from her. “I probably should have told you before, you know, if you’re going to get invested. I’m, uh, sorry about that.”

 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said. “May I ask how –”

 

“Our favorite sleazy asshole and his magic. An experiment gone wrong basically.” She winced when she recalled the pain he’d inflicted and she had felt like it would never end and how she so badly just wanted to die so it would be over. “Sorry, guess I kind of killed the mood now, huh?”

 

Specs moved to lie beside her and held her hand, lacing their fingers together. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” he said. He moved closer to her, as if his very presence could undo the past. Of course it wouldn’t, but that didn’t make the gesture any less meaningful to her.

 

“I’ve had a long time to get over it,” she said, rubbing her thumb across his hand. “Ugh, I probably shouldn’t have brought it up. Didn’t want to make this all about sob-story Aranea and her bullshit. I just want to enjoy being with you, you know?”

 

He kissed her shoulder. “Well, if it helps, I’m enjoying being with you, naked or not.”

 

Aranea laughed. “Hmm . . . so I have a confession to make. A less depressing one. When you came by to pick me up that first time, I snuck a peek at your ass.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I kind of couldn’t help myself. I’m kind of a pervert.”

 

“Oh, well, then this will make my confession a little less embarrassing. I might have . . . looked when you took that dirty shirt off.”

 

Aranea gasped with shock and started laughing again. “Wow, really?”

 

“No.”

 

“Aw, man. And just when I thought your perfection was going to be tainted. You’ve killed off all my dreams, now.”

 

He smiled at her. “I thought most ladies preferred a gentleman.”

 

“Most ladies don’t know what they want. They only think they do.”

 

“What if I told you my so-called ‘perfection’ was about to be tainted right now?”

 

Aranea raised her eyebrow. “From what?”

 

Specs reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a folded piece of paper. He hesitated before giving it to her. “Prompto took a lot of pictures during the bachelor party.”

 

“You mean ‘bachelor party,’” Aranea said, complete with air quotes.

 

“Yes. So I woke up early to get ready for our trip, and I decided to look through the pictures. And, well . . . I sort of became fond of one. And I took it.”

 

“You stole something? Scandalous!”

 

“It’s important to me. I’ve carried it around ever since.”

 

“Even though you can’t . . . you know.”

 

“I’ve looked at it enough times to have memorized it.”

 

He handed it to Aranea and she carefully unfolded it. When she saw what it was, her heart felt like it had expanded until it pressed against her ribs.

 

It was a picture of them, together, mid-laugh at some joke Aranea couldn’t recall. She was wearing that ridiculous red dress, but it looked like something she wore all the time. There was a light in her eyes that Aranea couldn’t recognize. You didn’t need an expert to tell you what it was hovering between them. Aranea felt a lone tear escape her eye and blinked back the rest.

 

“That day in Altissia,” Specs continued, “when I saw Ardyn’s ship, I meant to reach for my phone. Wrong pocket. I pulled this out instead.”

 

Aranea passed the picture back to him, hurriedly wiping her eyes and trying to laugh it off.

 

“You were on my mind a lot,” Specs said. He ran his knuckles over her arm. “You’re crude and infuriating. And you’re funny, somehow you make me laugh when I rarely don’t. You’re also quite easy on the eye, in case you weren’t aware. Normally, I wouldn’t notice these things. But . . . somehow you got under my skin.”

 

“And under your shirt, too. Don’t forget that,” Aranea said. She had to quickly wipe her eyes again. She never knew she could be cared for so much. “You’re so goddamn terrible,” she whispered.

 

“I know.” He kissed her shoulder again several times. Lightly ran his fingers along her stomach and she felt heat blossom under his touch. “You didn’t, er, completely ruin the mood. If you still . . . that is, if you want –”

 

“Do you really have to ask?”

 

“I suppose I could find out myself, but . . . I felt it would be best to ask in this circumstance.”

 

“You have a lot to learn, young grasshopper.”

 

They laughed together.

 

“But to answer your question,” Aranea said, “yeah. I still want you.”

 

“Then come here.”

 

They both sat up and Specs took her in his arms. Their lips met and it was slow and tender at first before it became somewhat desperate. Specs’ fingers circled around the wetness between her legs as Aranea pulled his belt off and tossed it aside. He groaned into her mouth when she pulled him out and slowly stroked along his length. His grip on her tightened and he buried his face against her neck as she straddled him. She guided him inside her, and it was so slow it was nearly painful. He bit her neck hard enough to pinch and Aranea didn’t care because it strangely felt good. She let out a high pitched moan when she bore down on him. Her nails dug into his back and she just let herself feel everything about him.

 

Before, Aranea thought sex was just something to pass the time. Of course, there were moments where she enjoyed it, but she always thought those breathless encounters that left one shaking to the bone were only in movies and shitty books. And yet, as she felt him move inside her she felt a spike of heat lance up her spine. She was doing her best to hold back because she didn’t want it to end too soon, but she could feel her muscles pulsing and tightening. She moved one of his hands to her breast and he moved his head down to take her nipple in his mouth. She cried out a little louder than before. She started trembling violently around him again. Specs breathed heavily into her ear and pressed harder into her lower back so he could get in deeper and Aranea was nearly screaming at this point. Everything in her felt so on edge she didn’t know how she was still holding on. Specs’ hand wandered between them to find the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs, and she felt like he just lit her on fire. She clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the scream that escaped her as she bore down as hard as she could one last time. He buried himself in her for a few moments more before she felt him spill inside her.

 

They collapsed against each other, taking their time to catch their breath. Aranea released a few moans as she felt some of the aftershocks. Specs leaned back with his arms still around her to lie back on the bed. Aranea curled against him, her head resting on his chest.

 

She fell asleep to his heartbeat.

 

~+~

 

She woke up with a languid sigh, but something was missing. She opened her eyes and realized she was the only one in bed. She sat up and looked around. “Specs?” His clothes were gone and his side of the bed was neatly made. Of course.

 

Walk of shame already? Maybe he had to do something? Aranea slowly reached for her tank top and put it back on, as well as her underwear. Her whole body was sore, so moving around as she did was a little difficult. She lay back in bed and felt like she could do with more rest.

 

She was startled by her door sliding open and she sat back up again. Specs was coming in carrying a tray with a little less clumsiness this time. Aranea shook her head and smiled.

 

“Good to see you don’t know when to quit,” she said.

 

“Ah, you are awake,” Specs said. “I meant to surprise you, but I suppose this will do.”

 

Aranea smelled pancakes, different kinds. Specs handed her the whole tray of them while he got back in bed to sit beside her. Some of the pancakes weren’t perfectly round, but Aranea didn’t give a shit. She realized she was hungry just looking at them.

 

“I didn’t know they served breakfast on the train,” she said.

 

“They usually don’t. I cooked them.” He smiled with smug satisfaction at that.

 

“You did? They let you in their kitchen?”

 

“When I told them what it was for, they seemed all too happy to oblige.”

 

Aranea quickly picked up her fork and stuffed a large piece of one into her mouth. Warm and buttery and . . . _oh._ She moaned in delight.

 

“That’s a sound I’m familiar with,” Specs said.

 

She lightly hit him. “Does this mean you’re going to start cooking again?” she asked with her mouth full as per usual.

 

“I don’t know. But I figure I might as well start somewhere.”


	11. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really late update. I blame Persona 5.

“When we reach Tenebrae, I’m going to be involved in a lot of meetings,” Specs said. “We won’t get to spend much time together most days.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Specs,” Aranea said playfully, patting his cheek. “I understand. Duty calls. Your role and all that.”

They were standing side by side in the lengthy hallway where the windows were so large you could see practically all of the landscape as they passed it. Specs had practically moved into her room after that night, and if his friends noticed, they said nothing. Everyone kept on as if things were normal, and Aranea guessed that they approved for the most part, not that she needed it. She just didn’t want to split them up in some way.

Specs started cooking again, as much as he could. He was doing a better job of navigating through other passengers on the train. It was only a matter of time before he’d stop needing a cane to get everywhere. Aranea didn’t say so, but she was immensely delighted that he was pushing on. She could never be with him if he simply gave up, because there was no way she was going to be able to fix him, as fucked up as she already was. Maybe that was unfair, but she could never consider herself a caregiver. She could never put herself in his position, she would be the type to explode.

“I know you’re aware, I only . . . Well, most of my relationships have usually ended once they notice my constant absence.”

“I’ll find something to do while you’re gone. How boring could Tenebrae be, after all?”

“You’ve never been?”

“I’ve never been. You forget who I was involved with.”

“Right. Tenebrae is nice enough. You could always tour the castle. Some nice places to eat . . .”

Aranea raised her right eyebrow. “You’re nervous?”

He started to speak, and then stopped to clear his throat before he tried again. “I just want to make sure you’ll be all right.”

Aranea reached for his hand – he was wearing gloves again – and held it. “I told you before, Specs, I don’t’ want to be someone on your mom and dad list. I can take care of myself and entertain myself. Shocking, I know.”

Specs pulled his hand away, and Aranea shrank a little. He removed his glove and then reached for her hand again. Aranea no longer felt self-conscious. He smiled in her direction.

“I could . . . try to get away. Maybe call you,” Specs said.

“Scandalous. If you want to call me, you can, but I don’t want to hear any bullshit about what’s going on in those meetings. I’d definitely break up with you for sure if I had to endure that.”

He chuckled, but Aranea could tell he was still worried.

“Can I ask you something?” Aranea asked.

“I believe you already have, but if you have another, be my guest.”

“OK, smart ass. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever dated someone?”

He sighed. “Two months, I believe.”

“And you never slept with her?”

He shook his head. “I . . . I thought about it, but it just never felt right. It wasn’t that I placed some meaningless value on chastity, I . . . I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“It’s OK. I think I get it. You just wanted it to mean something, not that you were obligated to do it or whatever.”

“Yes, something like that.” He hesitated. “I suppose I should also let you know that I didn’t . . . limit myself . . . when it came to options.”

Aranea raised her eyebrow again. “You dated dudes, too?”

He seemed flustered by how loud she had said it. “Yes.”

“Hot.”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, nothing . . . I was just thinking, you know, if you’d ever consider a threesome. Never done it, always wondered about it.”

He was blushing again. She loved how she could easily make him flustered. “No. I have never considered it and I probably never will. Sorry to disappoint you. I just wouldn’t be good at sharing.”

Aranea smiled warmly. “You’re just so adorable, you know that. It’s one of the reasons why I like you so much.”

He sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

“Hm . . . kiss me, probably. That’s usually what I prefer.”

He obliged. It was slow and warm and Aranea wondered if it was always going to feel that way. When they broke apart, he moved to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his chest. It made her feel giddy when he did this.

“You have no idea how impossibly infuriating you are,” Specs said against her ear. “And yet I’m still going to miss you when you’re not beside me. How on earth do you manage that?”

“With all the grace and poise I can muster.”

~+~

 It was unfortunate that Tenebrae was fucking boring.

There wasn’t much to do, other than tour the Nox Fleuret castle, and Aranea was quickly bored of that. Nothing but nice things she couldn’t touch and places she couldn’t imagine anyone dwelling in. Her room – well, more like her and Specs’ room, really – had a bed with too many ruffles and pillows. Aranea tossed most of those away so she could get a good night’s sleep.

It also sucked that she couldn’t see Specs that often. When he came back from all his bullshitty meetings he was usually too exhausted to speak, but he wasn’t exhausted enough not to drape his arm around Aranea and pull her close before passing out. Sometimes, Aranea didn’t even realize he’d come to bed until she’d awaken in the morning and he was getting ready to leave.

The marketplace sold shit she didn’t really need, but it was a good place to hang out with Prompto, whose only connection to royalty was that he was friends with the king. He asked a lot of advice about how to pick up ladies and Aranea did her best to answer him.

“You know, I’m not really a typical lady,” Aranea said as they walked past the stalls of silks and vases she could never afford.

“Yeah, but, I think you and Cindy are kinda similar, actually. She’s a bit more polite than you, though. Er, no offense.”

“None taken. She just happens to have a filter. I don’t.” She reached in her pocket for her new phone (a gift from the king of all people) and saw she received a message from Specs. He had that speech to text thing that most people didn’t bother using.

_Just wanted to let you know that I miss you and I’ve been thinking about you, even though I probably shouldn’t._

Aranea smiled and wrote back, _Who is this again?_

_Your knight in shining armor._

_Hmm . . . I think I’d go with stalker._

_Always cruel._

_That’s my middle name._

“Oooh, text from lover boy?” Prompto teased.

Aranea playfully shoved him. “Shut up before I deck you.”

Prompto laughed and then sighed wistfully. “I do enjoy the sight of romance. I can even smell it in the air.”

“Yeah, me, too. Smells like come.”

“Gross.”

“Do you even know what that smells like, kid?”

Prompto glared at her and she laughed. Like Specs, he was so easy to tease. She had to check her phone again when it went off.

_Because I’ve been a good boy, I get to leave this particular meeting early. How would you like to have dinner with me tonight?_

_Where are we gonna go?_

_I have a surprise in mind. All I need you to do is be ready in the room by 6._

_Hmm . . . will there be dessert?_

_Sure. What do you prefer? Cake, chocolates, exotic fruits?_

_I prefer body parts, but cake is good too._

_Then your wish shall be granted. Until then. I_

And that’s where it left off, with that single letter. Aranea stared for a long while, slightly confused. _Was that a glitch?_ she asked.

_Yes, sorry about that. Until tonight._

“Looks like I’m going on a date, kiddo,” Aranea said as she put her phone away. “Gods, I haven’t been on one in . . . I don’t know, forever, it seems.”

“Oooh, where are you going?” Prompto asked as he fiddled with his camera, occasionally snapping pictures of passerby without them noticing.

“He didn’t say; said it was a surprise.”

“Knowing Iggy he’ll probably take you to a place where they serve caviar and smelly cheese.”

“Ugh, you think?”

“You’ve had his cooking. You know how fancy he gets with his stuff.”

“So what do you suggest I do?”

“Run.”

Aranea laughed. “No, come on. You’ve known him longer than me.”

“Are you asking me what he likes? Shouldn’t you already know?”

“Yes, but . . . I don’t know. I was wondering if there was something I wasn’t thinking of.”

Prompto looped his arm around hers. “Iggy is an open book. If you’re pissing him off, you’ll know it. If you make him happy, you’ll know it. He’s not that complicated. We knew he was gaga over you before he did.”

“Really? What clued you guys in?”

“Let’s see . . . he checked his phone a lot after our adventure in Steyliff. He would bring your name up for seemingly no reason, especially when he wanted to rub in our faces how much you liked his food. And those times he disappeared, we knew he was with you, we just didn’t want to embarrass him.”

“Is that how he was with his other dates?”

“No, not really. It was just you. He really likes you, you know.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

~+~

He was running late. About twenty minutes, not that she kept checking, she wasn’t. She started to worry that something was holding him up, or something had happened, or that she was going to wake up any minute now and all of this would have ended up being a dream. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve all this, but she wasn’t going to complain in the slightest, even if he was late. Twenty minutes.

Aranea was startled when the door burst open and Specs entered, rather breathlessly, like he’d been running to get here. “Everything OK?” she asked.

He didn’t answer her question. Instead, he reached for her, pulled her towards him, and then kissed her and it could have knocked her off her feet. He really had missed her. He didn’t have to say it.

“I apologize for being late,” Specs said when they broke apart. “The meeting went unnecessarily longer than usual, and . . . well, you don’t need to know about all that, I’m sure.”

“I wasn’t even interested in the slightest.”

“Are you ready to go? Still hungry, I hope.”

“Starving.”

He took her hand and led her out of the room and down the elaborate hallway, where guards of the deceased Oracle saluted him as they passed. Aranea started to feel a little self-conscious; she hoped they weren’t going anywhere too fancy. She was wearing a simple grey t-shirt and jeans with her favorite black boots that clicked on the polish floor like a gun being loaded. She didn’t know if she’d be welcome at any establishment in this attire.

Instead of going through the front doors, however, they went out back into the courtyard. The scent of spring was heavy in the air, and with the sunset in the background the garden looked pretty damn beautiful. And in the middle of it all was a picnic set up for two people, complete with fancy brand champagne and a small tower of tiny cakes. She had to laugh a little.

“You know, I shouldn’t be surprised, but somehow, I am,” Aranea said. “You made all this, Specs?”

“Most of it. Unfortunately, the cakes are store bought.”

“And here I was, ready to give you a perfect score. As it stands, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”

“Good, because that is precisely what I was going for.”

They sat on the blanket and started eating and of course everything was delicious. Somehow he knew sushi was her weakness and she devoured her rolls like she was never going to eat again. The cakes were also light and creamy with a hint of citrus. If she was going to die, this would definitely qualify for a last meal.

“I think you’re trying to make me fat,” Aranea said with her mouth full, because she couldn’t help but continue to push his buttons.

“I’d rather you be fat and happy than starving and miserable,” Specs said, planting a small kiss on her cheek.

“You know, you’ve already had me naked, you really don’t have to put in much effort anymore.”

“Wish you had told me that earlier. It would have spared me the trouble.” He laughed as she lightly punched him.

When they were finished with their meal, they lay next to each other. Aranea rested her head on his chest. By then the sun had long since been gone, but the weather was so nice and she was so relaxed and happy, she felt they could afford a little more time out here.

Suddenly, Specs asked, “What are you planning to do once the world gets back in order?”

“I don’t really have a plan. I guess . . . go where I’m needed. Or wanted. What about you?”

“I will mostly likely be going back to what I was doing before. Making sure Noct keeps the world intact.”

Aranea nodded. He did warn her, after all, and these past few days had given her proof. She did feel a little sad, though.

“I’ll probably be getting another apartment in Insomnia,” Specs continued. “My last apartment was rather large. There was a lot of empty space. I’m sure my new one will be the same. The perks of working with royalty. Maybe . . . maybe it wouldn’t feel so empty if there was someone else there.”

Aranea didn’t know what to say for the longest time. “You . . . you want me to move in with you?”

“Do you think it’s too soon for me to ask? I – I only did because we’ve been sleeping together –”

“In more ways than one,” Aranea said coyly. She was rewarded with another blush from him.

Specs cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I . . . I may be getting used to it. Getting used to having you near.”

Aranea smiled against his chest. “I don’t know if I could pay rent.”

“That’s all right. Perks of working with royalty.”

“I can’t cook to save my life. You’d never come home to a nice meal. The best I could do would be pizza or take-out.”

“That’s fine. I prefer to do most of the cooking anyway.”

“I’m a really shitty housekeeper, too. I’ve never been good at keeping things organized.”

Specs laughed. “I had a feeling that was the case. It’s all right. I’m used to cleaning up after three grown men after all.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden. You’re a pain in the ass.”

Aranea gasped. “Was that a swear word? Gods, I really am a bad influence.”

“Sometimes a swear every now and then is necessary. Besides, surely you already know that much.”

Aranea laughed softly. She fiddled with one of the buttons on his shirt. “You really want me to live with you?”

“Yes.”

“Even if I end up driving you insane?”

“You already do.”

Aranea rolled her eyes. “All right. Then . . . yeah. I want us to stay together. Live together. I . . .” Heat flooded her face and she changed her mind. “I would like that a lot.”

Specs rolled her on her back and hovered above her, pinning her arms above her head. “Good. That makes me happy to hear.”

He leaned in to kiss her fiercely, moving from her lips to her neck. Aranea wound her arms and legs around him and he blew her mind again.

~+~

Two days later they were back on the train, heading for the last royal tomb. She knew the Empire was the final destination and it mostly filled her with anxiety, not for herself, but for the four boys she was sitting amongst, sharing breakfast like a family. They were all fierce fighters, but she knew it took only one error and things could end fatally for all of them.

Which was why, when Specs said he could use some coffee, Aranea was the first to volunteer to get it for him.

“Aranea, you don’t have to –”

She blew a raspberry as she stood up, roughly shoving into him as she climbed out of the booth. She made sure to wave her ass near his face as she did so; she’d recently found out he was an ass man and she liked to pride herself on having one of the best.

“I don’t know how on earth you deal with her,” she overheard Gladio say.

Aranea laughed when she heard Specs say, “With as much grace and poise as I can muster.”

She walked down to the café in the next carriage, thinking of things that made her stomach bubble like soda. She ordered Specs an Ebony, straight up black. How he could drink that shit like that puzzled her just as much as their relationship. Not that it was really complicated, just that once again she didn’t know what she’d done to deserve all this. A guy who really liked her, maybe even loved her a little. A guy who thought out a nice picnic just because. Who wanted to live with her.

Stranger things had happened, she supposed.

She was startled when she saw a familiar glove out of the corner of her eye. “Shit, you startled me,” she said. “What are you doing? I said I would get it.”

“I wanted to wait with you,” he said with a smile.

An alarm rang in Aranea’s head, and she couldn’t quite place where it had come from. She studied Specs’ face for a long moment. The scars were familiar, so was the smile. Wearing the same clothes, so, what was wrong? Maybe it was just her nerves again, acting weird.

“Everything all right?” he asked. His voice sounded right.

“Yeah, I’m just a little tired. Long trip.”

“We’re almost there.”

He stood close to her and he smelled familiar. He drummed his fingers idly on the countertop.

A steak knife was between them. Aranea took a second to glance at it before looking straight ahead.

The drumming continued.

Aranea idly folded her hands next to the knife.

Specs shifted one hand closer to it.

The server dropped off a fresh cup of coffee in front of Aranea. “Thanks,” she said with a forced smile.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Specs asked.

And there it was, right in his face, the reason why the alarm had gone off.

He was looking straight at her.

Without further thought, she grabbed the steak knife and tried to impale the imposter’s hand. He was too quick; she ended up puncturing a hole on the counter top. The imposter grabbed a fistful of her hair and threw her over the counter, into shelves of dirty cups. Patrons began to scream and bolt for the exit. Glass and hot coffee rained down on Aranea.

“Did you really think I’d just forget about you?” the imposter asked.

Aranea grabbed a pot of coffee, stood, and threw it at the imposter’s face. Then she kicked him back into one of the booths. The imposter screamed from the heat, and Aranea swore she could smell burning flesh.

She made her way to the exit, but she felt a hand grab her ankle and she went down, landing painfully on her chin. The imposter was dragging her back towards him, keeping a strong grip on her even when she tried to kick him away. She yelled out as loud as she could, to signal for some kind of help. Coffee dripped down the imposter’s face which was now a raw and angry red. He reached for her throat and squeezed.

“You worthless bitch,” he said through his teeth. “Now look what you’ve done.”

Specs’ features melted away, and Aranea thought she felt her heart stop.

Ardyn bared his teeth.  


	12. Alone

Aranea slammed her knee into Ardyn’s ribs, throwing him off balance just enough to wriggle free. She scrambled to her feet, just as the glass window to her left exploded into shards. If she got cut, she barely felt it. She screamed at the other passengers to duck as the gun went off a second time. She dove under the seats and crawled as quickly as she could. Her heart was pounding so fiercely it felt like the only part of her that was alive. She thought she might have heard an explosion somewhere, but she kept moving.

The cart she was in veered dangerously back and forth, as if a strong wind was trying to blow it off the tracks. Aranea braced herself, her nails digging into the carpet. Everyone around her was screaming and she had no idea where the boys were or if they were safe. Her mind flashed to her mother’s wrists and the smell of blood and her body as still as stone.

_Keep moving._

Her body reluctantly obeyed. At the end of the cart, she pulled herself up and wrenched the door open free. Some of the other passengers were too scared to move. Aranea ordered them to hoop across the other carriage. She glanced back but didn’t see Ardyn anywhere, and that was perhaps more frightening than the possibility of the train car exploding.

When she was the last passenger remaining, Aranea braced herself to jump. When she took her first step towards the ledge, a strong force sent her back and the carriages were disconnected. There was a ringing in Aranea’s ears and her head felt like it weighed like a bag of bricks. She had a hard time pushing herself up, but the one thing keeping her going was that the boys had to be alive somewhere, and Specs was never going to forgive her if she gave up now. She got unsteadily to her feet.

Thousands of feet below was the lake, and from this distance it looked like glass.

And Specs was there in the other carriage, holding out his hand, yelling something to her but the wind blew his words away. Aranea took a running leap and he was able to catch her just in time. His grip on her hand was strong as he pulled her into the carriage. She looked up at him and saw her startled expression distorted in his sunglasses.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain slide between her ribs. It took her breath away. For a moment, everything inside her was numb. She looked down and Specs was still holding the knife and his gloves were getting ruined. And when she looked up at him he was smiling, but then his smile was melting and morphing into Ardyn, and of course it was a trick.

 _Fuck me_.

She nearly fell to her knees, but Ardyn grabbed her by the throat again and lifted her up. Her feet dangled dangerously over the edge of the carriage. Ardyn whistled when he looked down at the lake. “That’s quite a drop,” he shouted to be heard above the wind. “I wonder if even you could survive such a fall.”

The pain immobilized her. Her muscles felt drained. She held onto Ardyn’s wrist but could do nothing to pull him away.

“Ardyn!”

Aranea saw the boys coming towards them. They had their weapons drawn, and other than looking slightly battered, they were safe. She would have breathed in relief if she remembered how.

“Seems like you boys are just in time to bid the lady farewell,” Ardyn said.

“No, don’t! Please,” Specs begged, and it hurt Aranea’s heart just as much as the knife wound. “Just let her go.”

“Let her go?” Ardyn tapped his chin with his free hand. Then he smiled. “As you wish.”

He threw her off the train.

~+~

Aranea passed out before her body hit the water.

She vaguely recalled a floating sensation, but somehow knew she was sinking. How often do they check this lake for bodies?

Everything was dark and still and maybe it was better that way.

_Oh, no you don’t. You’re not dying here and now. Ardyn’s still on that train with the boys, and who knows what he’s planning to do with them. You and Specs are going to get an apartment together one day and you’re maybe going to live happily ever after. But that can’t happen unless you wake the fuck up!_

Aranea jerked awake and felt the sudden pressure in her lungs. She didn’t know where the energy came from, but she somehow scrambled to the surface of the lake, taking great lung-fulls of air. It was dusk, now. She had no idea how long she’d been under. She looked up at the bridge she had fallen from and felt slightly sick. She didn’t want to know how she was still alive. Somehow she always did.

After looking around her, she swam to the closest shore. Pain was still buried in her abdomen, but she wouldn’t let it drown her. When she reached land, she spat out water that tasted like metal – or maybe that was blood. The knife was still inside her. Aranea rolled on her back and stared up at the blood red sky for a few moments, breathing as best she could. Her hand trembled as she brought it towards the handle and wrapped her fingers around it. In most cases, this would be the last thing she’d want to do, but considering the circumstances, and considering there probably wasn’t any help for miles, this was her best option. She couldn’t afford to slow down.

She pulled on the knife.

She bit back the scream that built up in her throat. Her hand was trembling so badly, she didn’t think she’d have enough strength to see it through. She screwed her eyes shut and kept going, hot pain spreading down to her legs. Blood coated her hand and she could smell it and she thought she was going to vomit.

After what felt like hours, she finally pulled the knife free, and she dropped it beside her, thinking she would probably need it because she didn’t have any other weapons. Her body was wracked with sobs and dry-heaves, and she clutched her stomach like she was sick. Fucking Ardyn. She gingerly sat up and took her jacket off. She used the knife to cut off strips of cloth and wound them tightly around her stomach. She’d worry about a potion and some bandages later. For now, she needed to get out of this place.

Her best bet was to follow the tracks. Keep them in sight while she walked. Aranea dragged herself to her feet and used the trees to keep herself steady. She held onto the knife and kept it at her side.

At some point she remembered her phone. In vain, she pulled it out of her pocket, but it was destroyed like she expected. It wouldn’t even turn on, and the screen was cracked beyond repair. Which sucked, because if she couldn’t get through to Specs and the boys, she would have liked to read their old text messages. Something to pass the time, something to keep her going.

Instead, she thought about what their apartment might look like. She should have told him that night that at least his blindness was a partial blessing, so he couldn’t see her fuck it up. She wondered how picky he was when it came to decorating, what kind of sheets he might like, what color the walls would be. She imagined they would have a pretty damn good view of Insomnia. She’d seen the city in pictures on the internet. What would it be like to see the real thing? She pictured Specs in a royal uniform, then pictured him out of it. She wondered how long it would take for her to call that place home.

_I should have told him that night._

That thought nearly stopped her in her tracks. She stumbled a bit, but didn’t fall. Well, it would just have to be one more thing to live for. She didn’t know what she’d been so afraid of; at this point, there probably wasn’t anything she could say or do that would cause him to run away. Thinking about how she felt about him hurt, mostly because she’d give anything to have him here right now. She hoped he was OK, hoped he wasn’t planning anything stupid to get back to her. She just needed to get to him first.

When it was dark, Aranea found an alcove to lay low in. She could hear daemons in the distance, growling and screeching. She tried to sleep, but the noises kept waking her up. She kept expecting one of the fuckers to come by and try to eat her. She held the knife out like it would scare them. The strips she wrapped around herself were soaked with blood. Shit, she was still bleeding out. Just a lot slower.

Aranea grabbed a bundle of leaves and plastered them to herself. Draw it out just a little longer.

 _I’m gonna kill that motherfucker_.

~+~

Dawn didn’t arrive.

Aranea had no concept of time, but she could feel that something wasn’t right. Daemons were still on the prowl. Aranea carefully and quickly left her hiding spot and kept on. She was cold and it was hard to see, but as long as she kept moving, it would be all right. She crept slowly past an iron giant stomping through the trees, and then crawled past a group of goblins tearing into something that was already dead. This all had to be Ardyn’s doing. He was collecting all these daemons and then he finally unleashed them into the world, into some kind of endless night. It pissed her off even more.

Hours later, however, she could feel the pain dragging her down. The energy in her muscles felt like it was all pouring out. Instead of walking at a good pace, she started limping. Her mouth was parched and she was so fucking tired. But she knew if she laid down now, she probably wouldn’t get back up. And she’d be damned if she let one of those abominations be the end of her.

The image of the apartment was slowly fading.

Somewhere along the way, she dropped the knife.

Something was following her.

She started to run, but she stumbled and fell off the edge of a cliff. She rolled down the hill and then slid down a mound of pebbles the rest of the way. She landed flat on her front into a pile of bones. She desperately tried to get back up, but her body could not move.

Behind her was a light, and it was so bright that it blinded her.

~+~

“What did you mean when you said you weren’t him?” Aranea asked. Her mother’s body was starting to decay, she could smell it from where they were sitting. She flinched away from Specs. “Are you . . .?”

“I’m not him, either.”

“Thank fuck for that. So who the hell are you, then?”

“Don’t you already know?”

Aranea sighed. “I don’t. I’m fucking done being back here all the time. I’m tired of riddles. I’m just really tired, OK? Just let me go, already. I just want to be done.”

“You’re lying.”

“And you’re full of shit. What else is new?”

 _Aranea_.

She blinked. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I think someone’s calling me.”

_Aranea. Aranea._

“Well, what are you going to do?” Not-Specs asked.

She stood up.

~+~

“Aranea Highwind.”

Aranea blinked awake. Her whole body felt heavy, but there was less pain, now. “Specs?” she mumbled almost drunkenly. She didn’t know how he knew her full name, considering she hadn’t told anybody that in a long time.

“Who the hell is Specs?”

Aranea blinked again, and this time her vision cleared. There was a man standing over her. She was in some kind of tent and there was bright lamplight shining behind him. He looked sort of familiar, but no name registered in her head at the moment. He looked sternly down at her, a sword in his hand.

“Where . . . am I?” Aranea asked. Her voice sounded so hoarse.

“You’re in my camp.”

“And who are you?”

“Cor Leonis. Former marshal to King Regis, future marshal to King Noctis, once we overthrow the usurper. I know all about you, Aranea Highwind.” He sat at the edge of her cot, his back as straight as an iron bar. “I know you were working for the usurper as his assassin. I know you’ve killed a lot of people, and I know, until recently, your loyalties laid with the Empire.” He pointed his sword at her. “What I don’t know is what you’re doing in the middle of nowhere, bleeding out as you were.”

“By usurper, I take it you mean Ardyn?”

Cor nodded.

“He and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms, since I killed my ex in cold blood. If you’re also wondering, yeah, he’s the one that did this to me. And I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Cor smiled. “Is that so? Well, it’ll be nice having a dragoon on our side. Until it’s proven what you say is true, however, I’m afraid I can’t leave you unsupervised.”

Aranea sighed and looked away. “Guess I can’t hardly blame you for that. How did you know my full name, anyway?”

Cor looked at his feet. “Tell me who Specs is, first.”

“He’s the permanent babysitter of King Noctis and his crew.”

Cor paused as recognition dawned on him. “You know Ignis?”

“Yeah. He and I are sort of . . . a thing. If you can believe it.”

“I almost don’t. But I honestly don’t know why you would lie about something like that.”

“Maybe because I’m crazy.”

“Now that I can believe.” He leaned forward on his knees. “Considering the things you’ve done.”

“No need to remind me, marshal. It’s all stuck in my head.” Aranea felt a sharp pang in her heart. “Are you going to answer my question, or do we need to keep playing 20 rounds?”

Cor pressed his lips together for a moment, as if he was debating on telling her. Aranea waited as patiently as she could. When she finally received his answer, she nearly fell out of the cot.

“I knew your father.”

Aranea didn’t know much about the man himself. She knew he was a fighter, and she knew at some point during her childhood, that she was never going to see him.

“Well . . . that’s unexpected,” Aranea said.


	13. The Marshal

Aranea jerked awake when the truck ran over a steep bump. Her whole body felt like she’d been smacked around several thousand times. Strangely enough, out of everything she’d endured, this wasn’t the worst.

When she pushed herself up as much as her body would allow, she saw Cor sitting across from her, two of his men sitting beside him. He was holding onto his still sheathed sword, looking at his fidgeting feet. He didn’t want to talk to Aranea about her father, refused to answer any further questions. The only other thing he told her was that her father was no longer alive. Hardly surprising, she supposed. Yet that didn’t stop her from being curious. How did he die? “Too many mistakes,” Cor had said. Whatever that meant.

“Where are we going?” Aranea asked, startling Cor.

“Zengaurat Keep. That’s where Ardyn is keeping his pets. We think he might be there, too. Waiting for the king.”

“Why would he be waiting for the king there?”

“That’s where Ardyn is keeping the crystal.”

From Cor’s expression, Aranea knew she probably should have had a stronger reaction. However, all she could do was shake her head. “And that means . . .?’

Cor sighed impatiently. “The crystal is from Lucian ancestry. It’s what gives the royals their powers and keeps the city of Insomnia safe.”

Aranea felt an uncomfortable shudder work up her back. More magic bullshit. She wondered if the boys really were heading that way and if they were still safe.

As if reading her mind, Cor said, “They’ll be all right. They’ve handled worse circumstances together.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if Specs is completely ready for combat yet.”

Cor gave her a puzzled expression. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

Aranea hesitated. Of course Cor wouldn’t know, at least not yet. “Oh – um. He got injured recently. It’s . . . well, it’s nothing. I’m sure he’ll be fine, like you said.”

“What kind of injury?”

“I already told you, it’s minor. He’ll be OK.” Aranea shifted so her back was against the wall and folded her hands on her lap. “I just don’t want him to do anything stupid or reckless.” The men had phones, of course, but because of all the weirdness and demons crawling about, all phone lines were dead.

“He’s not that type.”

“Yeah . . .”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a long time. Aranea focused on the hum of the truck as it sped along. Her attention snapped back to Cor when he cleared his throat.

“What happened to your mother?” he asked softly.

Aranea narrowed her eyes. “Why should I tell you? You won’t talk about my daddy dearest, won’t even give me his name.”

Cor sighed again. “He . . . he made me promise not to tell you. He didn’t want you to know what kind of man he was. Didn’t want his legacy to follow you around.”

“Yeah, well he’s dead now, so that means about as much as the spunk he used to make me.” Aranea shook her head. “You know what, it’s fine. I lived without him my whole fucking life. Knowing anything about him isn’t going to change how I was raised or how I ended up here. It’s not like he ever gave a shit about me, so . . . Anyway, my mom drank herself to death when I was a kid. So much for my dad trying to give me a solid legacy, right?”

Cor turned pale. He pressed his lips together in a hard line. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Did you put the bottles in her hand?”

Cor said nothing and the awkward silence resumed for several more minutes.

“Do you think you can still fight?” Cor asked.

Aranea hesitated. “I don’t have a lance I’m familiar with right now. And after the beating I took back there, it might take me a bit to work my muscles again.”

“Are you willing to fight with us?”

“Sure, if it gets me what I want.”

Cor leaned back. “I’d be willing to have you trained and armed. But I will say, should you turn your back on us, you won’t get very far.”

Aranea drew her knees up to her chin. “Yeah, yeah. I get it.”

“And you have to work as a team, with my men. No running off solo, especially for . . . Specs.”

Aranea laughed at the way Cor spoke the nickname. “You don’t like it? His friends call him that.”

“I just don’t get it. At all.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one. The first time we met, I was ordered to kill him and his friends. I might have succeeded, too, but I fucked up somewhere. He got the better of me that night.” Aranea paused. “After that he was always so nice to me. For no real reason other than he just wanted to be. Most people like him, you can tell they’re full of shit, just being nice because they think it makes them a good person. But Specs, he . . . there was no bullshit with him. And there’s not many out there I can say that about.” She glanced over at Cor and then smirked. “But you don’t want to hear all that nonsense. You wanna know if we’ve banged yet.”

“No, please. I can live without that knowledge.”

~+~

After two hours of driving, they stopped in a clearing to make camp. Lights were strewn about the place, nearly bright enough to replace the sun. Men gathered around and started sparring with wooden swords. Others were shooting rubber bullets at scarecrows. Cor led Aranea to the sparring ring and gave her a wooden spear. It was a little too lightweight, but Cor didn’t want anybody getting seriously injured, and the weapons they were storing were too good to waste. “This is the closest thing you’re going to get until we reach the keep,” Cor said.

“I’ll do what I can, I suppose.”

“Good, because you’re going to be sparring against me.”

Aranea blanched. “Why? You work with swords.”

“I want to personally test your skills and calculate how much time we have to get you back into form.”

Aranea felt a little nervous. She didn’t know Cor was a marshal, but she knew of his talents with a sword, knew that he had fought a god and nearly won. What the hell was she going to do against that? Still, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Whatever you say, Marshal Man.”

Of course, she got her ass kicked. Every move she thought she knew, every trick she thought of over the years was a waste. It was like Cor was reading her mind, knowing where she would strike before she did. In a matter of minutes, her ass was on the floor several times, until Cor said enough.

Cor helped Aranea to her feet, and she took his help, even though she was embarrassed as all hell. He said nothing for a long time, and Aranea had never felt more useless, especially as all the men were looking at her like, “This was the woman we had to be afraid of?”

“Who trained you?” Cor finally asked.

“Ravus, mostly.”

Cor nodded. “You’re not bad. Against a less skilled opponent you would win. But you’re sloppy. You let the rage and adrenaline get to you, like you have something to prove. Be more concerned about staying alive.”

“So, what, I’m worthless, now?”

Cor chuckled. “Far from it. We need dragoons on this team, and at this point, I’m willing to say you’re better than nothing.”

“Thanks. That fills me with so much confidence.”

“You’re going to start from the beginning, like most of the men here. You’ll work your way up again. Then, before we breach the keep, you’ll spar with me once more. Then, we’ll see what you can really do.”

“Do we even have enough time for that?”

“That all depends on you. We have a few days, still. You better get started now.”

~+~

_Soft lips, warm and wet, trailed along her neck, finding the spot below her earlobe that made her knees weak. Deft fingers released the button from her pants, inching between her legs to the space that yearned to be touched again. Her heart was thumping so hard and fast that it hurt a little. She moaned when she felt his fingers slip inside and bucked her hips and he nearly had her begging for just a little more._

_Is this what you want? he whispered in her ear, causing her to shudder and clutch at his shirt._

_Yes, yes, please, just –_

_It started to hurt, a pain that screamed up to her chest. She grabbed his wrist but he wouldn’t stop. What are you doing? What –_

_She looked down and saw the handle of the knife protruding from her stomach. He pulled it out just barely and shoved it back in._

Aranea woke up gasping, then she flinched when she realized someone was standing over her. It took her a moment to realize it was only Cor.

“Are you all right?” Cor asked.

Aranea rubbed the space between her eyes. She still felt a little shaken. But, no, Specs would never do that. It was all Ardyn, Ardyn and his fucked up magic messing with her head. She shook it off as best she could.

“Yeah, I’m all right. Bad dream.”

“Well, get your shit together. We’re stopping, and that means training is going to continue.”

Aranea nodded and stood. Before she followed him off the truck, she said, “Hold on a sec. I just . . . There’s something I want to ask. And it’s probably really stupid. But –”

Cor sighed. “If it’s about your father –”

“It’s not. I . . . Um, has Specs ever . . . Do you know if he’s ever had to . . . kill anybody?”

Cor looked at her like she was speaking in tongues. “Ignis, a murderer? Hell, that would be a new thing for him. I doubt he’d kill even his worst enemy, not unless he desperately had to.”

Aranea sighed in relief, though she wasn’t sure why. She knew Specs would never do this. So why was her body still tense? “I figured that was the case.”

“What made you ask that? Did something happen?”

Aranea hesitated. “No. I . . . I mean, I knew I didn’t deserve him. To have it rubbed in my face, though –”

“Hey, I’m not rubbing anything in –”

“It’s not you. It’s not anybody that should matter.”

Cor straightened, returned to his marshal demeanor. “Then I suggest you put it out of your mind and focus on what’s really important. You’re not going to get anywhere sulking and speculating.”

Aranea nodded again. “I know. Uh . . . thanks.”

“Hmph. Don’t thank me. There’s no special treatment in my camp, Highwind. Now get your ass out there, or we’re leaving you behind.”

For the first time in Aranea’s life, she obeyed without complaint.


	14. You are You

“What the hell are you doing, Highwind?”

Aranea threw her lance on the ground, fed up with fucking everything. What more did Cor want, exactly?

She fought. She got her ass kicked. She got up. She did it again.

She dreaded every time the convoy stopped. Her skin was splattered with bruises and shallow cuts and she hurt in places she didn’t think was possible. Still, she got off the truck and she fought. And sometimes it was good, she felt like she was getting better. Then there were times where she just sucked and she didn’t think she wanted to do it anymore because she was tired and nearly broken. When she closed her eyes to sleep, she’d see Specs with a knife, she’d feel it slide into her stomach. When she woke up, she kept reminding herself that Specs didn’t stab her; it was all Ardyn and she was going to kill him.

So she did what she was told. She followed Cor’s methods exactly. She knew she was sucking major ass today and she wasn’t in the mood to hear it. _How are you going to save Specs if you can’t follow instructions?_ she scolded herself.

“I don’t know,” Aranea said, answering herself and Cor.

“You’re half-assing this, I can tell.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t fucking know.”

Cor walked towards her purposefully, and at first Aranea thought he was going to hit her. She wanted to hit herself, sometimes. “You know better than to take that tone with me, Highwind,” Cor said evenly. “This is a matter of life and death, not a moment to throw a temper tantrum like a fucking child. If you screw up, one of my men will take the fall, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen. Now, pick up the lance and do it again, and put more goddamn effort into it this time.”

Aranea angrily did as she was told. But something had shaken loose inside of her, she could feel it like poison in her veins.

She missed her target completely.

She yelled and started stabbing the large sack of sand wildly, screaming out fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck you, Ardyn, fuck you!

Aranea felt a hand on her shoulder and whipped around. Cor didn’t look as angry as last time, but he did look troubled.

“What’s got you shaken up, Highwind?” he asked.

Aranea was shaking violently like her whole body was encased in ice. “I don’t know . . . I – I thought I knew the difference of what was real and what isn’t. I _know_ deep down he’d never do that, and yet my body just freezes up like everything I trusted in was a fucking lie. And I hate myself for allowing that bastard to get to me like that. For twisting something good into something I should be afraid of. Fuck him, fuck him so much.” She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled to distract her from a more serious pain in her chest. “I’m sorry, Cor, for being a pain in the ass. I’m sorry.”

It was quiet for a very long time. Aranea realized that Cor’s hand hadn’t left her shoulder yet. Eventually, he released her. “Are you done?” he asked quietly.

Aranea straightened, then nodded. No special treatment was allowed. You either got your shit together or you got left behind. That was Cor’s way, and she didn’t fault him at all for it. She didn’t want him to fix it, either. She had to rely on herself for that. She picked up the lance and turned away from Cor, ready to do this properly this time.

As she practiced, she heard Cor speak behind her. “Your father had his demons, too. I don’t think he handled them very well. He did stupid, risky things to numb the pain. He wouldn’t want you to do the same.”

“If he cared about me so much, then why did he leave?” Aranea asked as she thrust her lance into the bag. Direct hit.

“Because he knew he couldn’t be what you needed. He thought one day he would, but eventually so many years passed that he felt it was too late.”

“I guess he wouldn’t be wrong.”

“Did your mother ever talk about him?”

“No. And I never asked.”

~+~

Hours before they reached the keep, Aranea was given a proper lance and a uniform. She was supposed to get rest, but her nerves were on edge. She kept spinning her lance in her hand while she waited with the other men in the truck. Some of them were loading and re-loading their rifles, some were polishing their swords. All of them looked about as tense as she did.

The truck rumbled and shook over the uneven terrain. Aranea was glad there weren’t any windows she could look out of. She could faintly hear the sounds of daemons in the distance. When Ardyn was gone, then they would be, too.

She hoped.

Finally, the truck slowed to a stop and everyone piled out. Aranea glanced up at Zengaurat Keep, squinting from the bright searchlights that spun around the area. The building was as gaudy as Ardyn himself, and it was so tall it seemed to touch the moon. The boys could literally be anywhere in there, and Aranea did her best to not lose hope. She didn’t put her mind and body through hell just so she could falter now.

Cor lined them up and walked in the front. He wasn’t one for big speeches, so Aranea didn’t expect one. Cor examined each of them slowly, as if he was trying to memorize their faces once again before he let them loose. “Remember your groups,” he said finally. “Remember why we’re here. There is no glory in defeat, and even less in failure.” He unsheathed his sword, pointed it at the keep. “Now let’s go and put an end to this night.”

Quietly, Aranea and the men divided into their assigned groups and marched toward the keep. Each of the groups fanned out into a flanking position once they approached the main doorway. Aranea barely felt her heartbeat. She focused on remaining with her team, crouching in the darkness, and watching out for signals from Jameson, their leader. The fact that there hadn’t been any alarms or any guards so far set her on high alert.

The first team went ahead and hacked the door open. It rose slowly and with enough noise to raise the dead. Everyone braced themselves and waited. Even when the door finished rising to the top, they waited. It didn’t look like there was anyone inside. Slowly, the first team walked inside, their weapons drawn.

Aranea was too tense to speak or ask the question she was sure was on everyone’s mind. Where the hell was all the protection for this place? She looked over at Jameson, awaiting his next instructions.

Suddenly, the lights went out.

“What the fuck?” Aranea muttered to herself. It was so dark she could barely see her team. Someone shouted in confusion. She heard Cor shout for them to hold their positions.

A red giant pulled himself out of the black portal it had created. Soon, the shriek of daemons filled the air. The men opened fire. The previous silence that surrounded them had now exploded into chaos.

“Are we going to help them?” Aranea asked Jameson. It seemed the daemons didn’t know of their position.

As if reading her mind, Cor’s voice came over the radio. “Get inside and secure the facility. My men will provide backup. Remember, your priority is to find and aid his majesty.”

“Roger,” Jameson said. To the team, he ordered them to quietly follow into the building.

Aranea managed to catch a glimpse of Cor walking onto the battlefield like he’d prepared for this his whole life. He walked toward the red giant like it was nothing to him, and, quick as a blink, he managed to sever the red giant’s sword arm.

 _Immortal Cor_ , Aranea thought as she slipped inside the facility with the rest of the team. _I’ll be goddamned_.

Once they were well and truly inside, and the noises from the entrance had died out considerably, Jameson ordered flashlights on. “Be careful,” he said. “There could be any manner of traps in here.”

The eerie silence that returned filled Aranea’s ears like water. She was hesitant to make even the smallest of noises. Flashlights darted around everywhere.

Suddenly, the lights turned back on, nearly blinding them all. There was a harsh crackling sound for a few seconds, and then a voice boomed over hidden speakers.

“Gentlemen and lady, welcome to my humble abode.”

“Hello to you, too, asshole,” Aranea mumbled as she recognized Ardyn’s voice. The men around her were searching for the source. Jameson raised his hand to keep them still.

“Forgive me for not making a more warm welcome for you all,” Ardyn continued. “But I have a matter of business to take care of. Involving four boys, you may have heard of them.”

Aranea’s heart jammed in her throat. She gripped her lance tighter.

“Aranea, my dear, it’s so nice to see you alive. I know someone who is _dying_ to see you. Oh . . . but he can’t see at all, can he? He sadly won’t know what’s coming. It’s only a matter of time before he has an accident.”

“You piece of shit,” Aranea shouted. “You’re not going to use that against me anymore.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to Jameson, who said, “Let it go, Highwind. He’s trying to mess with us. “

“I know,” Aranea said bitterly. “But . . . _fuck_.”

“Let’s keep moving. Just ignore him.”

Aranea nodded, and she and the rest of the men continued on.

The keep was made of a series of elaborate hallways. Some led to dead ends, others led to hallways with infinite doors. Aranea was alarmed when some of them opened with no prodding from her or her team, and she suspected that Ardyn was leading them somewhere.

She really hated when her intuition was right.

She took just two steps into the next door and it immediately closed behind her, shutting her off from the rest of her team. She slammed her fists against the door.

“Highwind, are you all right?” Jameson shouted.

“I’m fine, but . . . I can’t get the door open.”

“We can’t, either.”

Aranea closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m going to keep onward,” she said finally. This is a trap, this whole place, this whole scenario was a trap. But she couldn’t just stay still and wait for Ardyn to come to her like she was a mouse in a maze.

“All right,” Jameson reluctantly agreed. “Stay safe, Highwind.”

“You, too.”

~+~

Every now and then, Aranea thought she saw a figure just out of the corner of her vision, but the hallways were empty. She was guided toward a large elevator and she paused in front of the open doors.

“This how you plan to kill me?” she asked. To her surprise, there were no smart ass remarks. Maybe he couldn’t even hear her.

Well, it was either turn around or get in.

She got in.

The doors closed and the elevator went down at a steady speed. Meanwhile, Aranea looked around to see if there were any emergency exits. Seemed like she was going to have to make one if it came to it.

“Tell me,” Ardyn said, startling her, “how long was Ravus dead before you brought another man to your bedroom?”

Aranea ground her teeth.

“I told him countless times that you weren’t what he thought you were. I told him you were incapable of love, or at least the kind he wanted. Of course, he didn’t listen. He was a stubborn one. Do you even miss him? Do you think about him? I do. All the time. I think about the bomb, too. And I think about all the innocent people that suffered just because they crossed paths with you.”

Aranea kept her composure and tried not to listen.

“I wonder, do you actually _love_ Ignis? Or are you just using him so you can play pretend? I’ve seen you two together and it’s disgustingly obvious how much he cares for you. You, however . . . You smile, you flirt, you say all the right things. Or who knows, maybe you’re both good actors. Do you wonder why he and his friends didn’t even try to stop the train once I threw you off? Instead, they just kept going like you didn’t even matter.”

“I wonder how much shit-talking you’ll be able to do once I drive this lance through your head,” Aranea snapped.

Ardyn laughed and then it was quiet again.

The elevator finally stopped at what Aranea assumed was the ground floor. She stepped out tentatively, shielding her eyes from the bright, ultraviolet light emitting from the end of the hall.

It was a large, glowing rock. And there was a figure stepping towards it.

Aranea gasped when she realized who it was. “Your Majesty!” she shouted.

He looked back, his hand was touching what was most likely the crystal Cor had told her about.

His hand started melting into the crystal. Alarmed, he tried to pull away, but the crystal was slowly taking him in.

Aranea sprinted down the hall as fast as she could. The king was disappearing fast, and she felt in her bones that she was going to be too late, but she nearly threw herself at the crystal, trying to get the last bits of his fingers before he was gone for good. Her hand touched the crystal instead and she was immediately thrown backward by a powerful force. Her head slammed against the metal floor and she felt something very strong writhe around in her stomach. She clutched it and started screaming as if that could release the pain. She rolled to her side and vomited. Something was burning into ashes inside of her and she didn’t know what it was or if she was dying or what was happening.

It seemed to take a long time for the pain to subside. She was left trembling on the floor, unable to move.

The king was gone.

She’d failed.

What the hell was she going to tell Cor?

She heard somebody call her name, but couldn’t even move her head to register it. There were footsteps and someone knelt beside her and lifted her into his lap. And when she finally opened her eyes again –

“Specs?” she whispered. She could hardly believe it.

“Yes, it’s me. Are you all right?”

Aranea said nothing for the longest time. She slowly reached for her lance and held onto it, even as her heart raced with joy.

“I’m fine. Where are the others?”

“We were separated by daemons.”

“How did you know to come find me here?”

“Gladio and I discovered the crystal was here and assumed this was where Noct was. I came here hoping to find him.”

“I thought you were separated by daemons.”

Specs looked flabbergasted. “We told him to go for the crystal. Why are you asking me all of these questions? Are you sure you’re all right?”

Aranea propped herself up to a sitting position. “I just think it’s funny, that you of all people would find me here. You didn’t even ask where the king went, or explain how you managed to get down here when there seems to be only one elevator to get to this place.”

“What are you –”

Aranea wasted no time; she pierced her lance through Not-Specs’ chest, made sure it went all the way through. She tried not to feel anything when a shocked expression crossed his face, or when he coughed up blood. She yanked the lance out of him and he collapsed into a bloody heap on the floor. Aranea stood and waited.

“Change back,” she commanded after nothing happened. “C’mon, you piece of shit, change back.”

Nothing continued to happen.

Cold panic started setting in. Her bottom lip trembled.

“No, change back. I know it’s really you, Ardyn.”

Her whole body started to shake. She waited another minute and nothing happened except her heart stopped beating, she was sure of it. She collapsed onto her knees, tears already falling from her face.

“No, no, no. I couldn’t have . . . I didn’t . . .”

 _You killed him_.

“Please, please, no. Please, get up, change back, do something. I . . .”

 _You killed him_.

Aranea shook her head and stood up. Not like this, it wasn’t going to be like this, she couldn’t have been wrong, Specs wasn’t dead, he wasn’t. She picked her lance back up and just kept stabbing the body over and over because something had to be different and it couldn’t be him and she could barely see because her tears were falling so slowly but she couldn’t really be crying over what he wasn’t and he _wasn’t Specs_.

She felt arms wrap around her and pull her back. “Get the fuck off me!” she shrieked. She stopped struggling when she heard his voice again. “Aranea, stop.”

She turned around and –

It was Specs. And the boys were there, too. Prompto looked down at the mess she’d made and then quickly looked away. Gladio looked disgusted.

Aranea took two steps back, brandishing her lance. “How do I know it’s really you?” she asked.

“Aranea –” Prompto began.

Specs held up his hand to silence him. “Check my pocket,” he said. “You know the one.”

Aranea reluctantly did just that. And there it was, the picture, where it always was. A picture of when things weren’t so fucked up and she knew deep in her heart then that she loved him. She should have said it before all this, and now she wasn’t even sure if she ever could.

“His pockets are empty,” Gladio announced, getting back on his feet.

“Oh,” Aranea said. She was crying again. What the fuck was going on with her? Her mind felt like it had been all twisted up and just shoved back into her head.

“We met up with the marshal,” Specs said. “He was worried when they lost you. Did you see Noct come by here?”

Aranea shook her head. “He – the king’s gone. I tried to save him, but . . . but he got trapped in that thing.” She pointed to the crystal. “Is it really you this time, Specs? I can’t . . . I couldn’t take it if . . .”

“It’s really me. Though I doubt mere words would convince you.”

She didn’t care anymore. She fell against Specs with her arms wrapped around him. He held her back and it felt right. “I thought I killed you,” she whispered.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m still alive. Let us also not forget who beat whom the first time we met.”

Aranea managed a hollow laugh at that. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Well, if I doubted it at all, I definitely know you are you.” He leaned his head down to whisper in her ear. “And I’m glad you’re safe.”


	15. Time to Feel Something Good

“So . . . what’s the plan, now?” Aranea asked.

It had taken several days for them to reach Hammerhead, where Cindy and her grandfather had installed anti-demon lights around the place. It was a safe haven of sorts for stragglers. Supplies, however, were running scarce. The dawn still hadn’t come, and the daemons were still around, and the king was still gone. Aranea couldn’t understand it, considering that she had killed Ardyn.

Cor spread his hands across the map of Eos. “Right now, the plan is to clear out as many daemons as possible and escort the stranded refugees here. That’s the best we can do for now.”

“But shouldn’t we come up with some way to . . . I don’t know, end this night or something?”

“None of us have the power to do such a thing,” Specs said.

“So the one person who could do it is fucking dead? Awesome.”

Everyone went silent. Aranea looked around at them all, but as she did so, she noted that they looked away.

“What? Why is everybody –”

“Highwind, I’m going to need you to stay put for these next assignments,” Cor said.

“Why?”

It took a long time for anyone to say anything. Finally, it was Gladio that spoke up. “She’s going to find out sooner or later.”

“Will someone please just fucking tell me already?”

Cor leaned against the table. “We didn’t find a body.”

Aranea giggled. “No way, that’s impossible. We all saw him, right? He was dead.”

“There was no body, Aranea. It was gone.”

Aranea felt a strange weight on her chest. People were still talking, but they sound like they were underwater. So Ardyn was still alive. And he could appear anywhere as anyone at any time.

She was vaguely aware that someone was talking to her. It was Specs. “Are you all right?” He reached for her but she instinctively pulled away.

“I’m fine. I can fight.”

“You need to get your head together,” Cor replied.

“I’m _fine_ ,” she insisted. “I’m a good fighter, you know that.”

“This isn’t about your skill. This is about your mental health.”

She rounded on Specs. “Was this suggestion made by you?”

“No,” Cor said vehemently. He moved closer until he was towering over her. “If you lose your shit on the field, what do you think is going to happen to your team, Highwind? I told you I’m not willing to risk all that –“

Finally fed up with everyone, Aranea got up and walked out of the diner. She didn’t really know where the hell she was going, but as she was surrounded by the faces of the soldiers she had fought and trained with, she felt something squeeze her stomach. She looked at their faces as they swam around her and suddenly she was going to be sick, but she would be damned if she vomit in front of any of them. She ran into the camper and thanked all the gods that there was nobody in there.

She knew she wasn’t being reasonable. Hell, she even knew that Cor was right in some way. She just couldn’t believe that fucking Ardyn had ruined her. That he was still fucking alive. That the world was still fucked.

She undressed and took a long, searing hot shower until her skin felt numb. She then dried herself off and put on a plain t-shirt and underwear. The sudden knock at the door startled her. It opened before she could say anything, and of course it was Specs, so she stopped trying to hurriedly put pants on.

“What’s up with you walking in when I’m half dressed?” she asked. It was supposed to be a joke, but she still sounded pissed.

“Oh – I can come back –”

“No, it’s – it’s fine. Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She saw him reach for the lock on the door. “Actually, could you, uh, leave the door unlocked?” She suddenly felt ashamed. “Sorry,” she added.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he said with a warm smile. He slowly walked closer to her and it took everything for her to not pull away.

They hadn’t been able to spend much time together. For the most part, they slept beside each other. He was always there to assure her that he was still there, unharmed, and he was most definitely not Ardyn. There was so much she wanted to say, but now that she had the opportunity, it was as though someone had robbed her of the words. She really had missed him. She thought about him nonstop, worried about him, all that gooey love shit that you do.

“Come to scold me for how I treated the marshal?” she asked.

“No,” he said. He pulled her closer and kissed her and she felt her muscles loosen and her bones melt and all that gooey love shit you feel. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her up, her legs wrapped around his waist. She didn’t know where he was leading her or why but she didn’t care. Sometimes words are meaningless and you just want to feel something other than fear or anger or anything shitty.

She gasped when he pulled her down onto the bed, her body lying on his. Her heart thudded wildly as she tucked her head under his chin and wondered what was going to happen now. But he simply held her there, as if he was afraid she could slip away from him. As if she would even want to at this point. Her shirt had lifted up slightly and his hands roamed along her exposed skin, making her shudder. She realized he didn’t have his gloves on, and that alarmed her at first, but the way he was touching her was so tender, she couldn’t imagine this touch coming from anyone else. 

“Are you all right?” Specs asked softly after a few minutes.

Aranea sighed. “Yeah . . . I just got a little rattled back there.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Aranea twisted her mouth in uncertainty. “I don’t know. Probably not. I wouldn’t really know what to say.”

“OK. Just know I’m here if you want to.”

Fuck everything, she was about to cry again. “Yeah, I know.” She wanted to add a joke at the end, but felt her throat close up. She swallowed. There was one more thing she wanted to say before things got quiet again. “I really missed you. I thought about you a lot, even the dirty stuff.”

He chuckled and said, “I missed you, too. Especially your endless vulgarity.”

“I hope you didn’t worry.”

He paused. “I know you can take care of yourself.”

“Damn right I can. I didn’t worry either, so you know. Not for a second.”

She had to stop talking again, because she was getting all weepy. She settled back into focusing on his touch, on the fact that, in spite of everything, they were reunited. Ardyn would never, ever be like this, not even for pretend, and with that knowledge firm in her mind, she allowed her body to relax and traced along his muscles through his shirt.

After a few idle moments, she felt his chest stiffen beneath her, just for a few seconds, but enough to notice. When it happened a second time, she asked, “You OK, Specs?”

“Yes.” His voice sounded strained.

“Trying to bullshit me again?” She looked up at his face and realized there were tears streaking down his face. Aranea reached up to wipe them away, but she had barely touched him before he flinched and pulled back.

“I’m all right,” he insisted.

Stubborn, just like her. She laid back down on his chest and put her arms around him as best she could. “Is it because of the king?” she asked.

He let out an uneven breath. “Partially,” he admitted.

“I hope you’re not blaming yourself for all that. I wish . . . I wish I hadn’t been too late to save him.”

“It isn’t your fault, either. You did the best you could. All we can do now is hope he’ll be able to come back.”

She hoped he would; at this point, he was probably their best hope at fixing all this shit.

“What else has you choked up?” she asked.

“I just . . . I don’t think it’s worth saying.”

Aranea rolled her eyes. “Are you serious? Look, I want to be there for you, too. Even if I can’t really help much. Though I can always take my top off if it makes you feel better.”

He did laugh a little at that. Then he reached for one of her hands and held it. He kissed her knuckles and then traced over each individual finger, as if confirming she was real. Then he laced their fingers together and sighed. “I thought . . .” He paused for so long that Aranea didn’t think he would finish. “I thought you were gone.” He tensed under her again. “I wanted to stop the train. But I told them to keep going.”

Aranea wasn’t angry or hurt by all that. She couldn’t imagine how hard that decision had to have been, and she understood more than ever now what he meant about roles in a group. The boys would have stopped for him, but he wouldn’t let them. Would she have been able to make the same decision?

She didn’t think so.

Aranea sat up and removed his shades. She placed her hands on his cheeks and tilted his head in her direction. “I’m glad you kept going,” she said. “You of all people should know I was only going to be a short distance behind you guys.” She smiled. “Besides, it’s going to take more than a stupid knife wound and a thousand plus foot drop to get rid of me.”

“I’ll never underestimate you again.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t beat yourself up when you inevitably do, or I’ll have to kick your ass.”

“Still trying to challenge me?”

“You won’t let me forget it. I feel like I have to get payback at some point.”

Specs sat up, Aranea straddling his lap. One of his hands rested on her bare thigh and she could feel the heat blossoming underneath. His other hand moved her shirt up just slightly. He said nothing, just gently pressed small kisses against her lips before prodding her mouth open with his tongue. Aranea’s legs gradually lost feeling, and then completely disappeared when he moved to kiss along her neck. She felt tiny pinches as he nibbled back up to her earlobe.

“If you think this is going to distract me from my plans,” Aranea said breathlessly, “then you need to try a bit harder, Specs.”

“Aranea,” he whispered, sending shivers up her spine, “I don’t want to talk anymore. I came to find you because . . . I need you, right now. And I’m not sure I can hold back anymore.”

Aranea studied his face for a few moments. Sometimes, we all just need to feel something good. “Then don’t,” she said.

That was all he needed before he pressed her down on the bed, his hips between her legs, his lips crashing against hers. It felt like he was trying to devour her and she almost wished he could. He practically yanked her underwear off while she fumbled with his belt. He moved his hands underneath her shirt in an attempt to take it off, his fingers barely brushing the scar he’d left –

No, not him. _Ardyn_.

Aranea flinched.

“Did I hurt you?” Specs asked.

It took her a moment to find her voice again. “Uh – no. I’m sorry. I have a new scar added to my collection. I just had some kind of flashback on how I got it.”

“Show me.”

Aranea slowly moved his hand under her shirt to the ugly scar over her belly. She knew he could feel the ridges of her skin, almost like she’d been burned. She wondered what on earth Specs was thinking about as he ran his hand over it, wondering if he was still thinking about stopping that train. She was about to say something, but then he lifted her shirt and bent down kiss the spot she’d been stabbed. Not like he was trying to erase it, but trying to erase the memory of it. It made her body quiver a little. He went on for a while before he moved back up to kiss her lips, more gently this time.

Undressing seemed effortless after that, but then it was as if they realized things were moving a little too fast, so they took things slow again. Aranea reveled in his touch, the way his hands moved over her like she was a map of the world. She arched her back under him and moaned into his mouth and gods she had missed this and she realized how long it had been since she’d had it. Since she’d had him here. She lovingly traced over his muscles, still amazed by how solid and strong he was overall.

Aranea pushed him off her and pinned him on his back. Specs smiled up at her. Aranea leaned down close enough for their lips to touch. She could feel his hardness against her ass and she reached behind her to touch it. He sighed heavily and his hips twitched.

“This your idea of payback?” he asked breathlessly.

“I think you’re underestimating me again.”

Aranea got off him and pushed him back down when he tried to get up.

“You sure know how to make things difficult,” Specs said.

“And if things were easy, you wouldn’t like me as much.” She took one of his hands and sucked on his fingertips. His hips bucked against her hand again.

“Like seems . . . too tame a word for how I feel.”

She released his fingers and then bent down to take him in her mouth. He tasted salty and bitter and as she ran her tongue along his length, he groaned. He reached for her hair and balled it up into a fist, his breathing becoming more erratic. Aranea felt the heat building between her legs, and she absentmindedly reached down to touch herself, gasping when she realized how wet she was.

Aranea felt him tense underneath her, and she wouldn’t have mind finishing him then and there, but he pulled her back. Her mouth released him with a small pop. Specs grabbed her arms and moved her on top of him. She straddled his lap and helped guide him in. Specs held onto her hips, gripping them so tight that his nails bit into her skin and she didn’t even care if it left marks or not. She dug her nails into his chest. The rhythm they set was hard and fast and Aranea felt like she was going to explode from how good it all felt. Their moans were nearly in sync and she couldn’t tell if she was trying to be louder than him or the other way around.

Soon he rolled her on her back and thrust into her firmly yet gently, like he was afraid she was going to break. She moved her hips fiercely against his and left scratches down his back that caused him to growl in her ear. Aranea let him take control for a little while longer before flipping him on his back again. They went between taking and surrendering control several times, until Aranea felt like she was being tossed in a warm sea and she was never going to find reality again. By this point the sheets were nearly ripped off the bed and they were covered in scratches and sweat. Aranea wouldn’t have minded if it had lasted until the dawn rose again, but her legs were quivering around him, and he was hitting a particular spot that caused her muscles to tense.

Specs grabbed her leg and flipped her on her front. She stretched out catlike in front of him, arching her back when she felt him enter her again. He curled one arm around her breasts while his free hand dipped between her legs to massage her swollen bundle of nerves. She was nearly screaming at this point; she grabbed the headboard and pushed back against him. He sank his teeth between her shoulder blades and she cried out his actual name and it sounded like she was begging, though she didn’t know for what exactly. He whispered in her ear that she was beautiful, that he couldn’t get enough of her, that he wanted to hear her cry out again. And she did, louder than before, feeling like she could bring the whole place down if she wanted to.

 _I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come,_ she thought as her lower back muscles tensed. Or maybe she had actually said it, because he whispered, “Show, don’t tell.”

When she let go, she let out a long, nearly endless shout. Her muscles convulsed and she swore she could feel the reverberations up to her ribs and in her throat. She was trying to hold onto something, or let go of something, she wasn’t sure, but everything was pulsing violently inside her and it felt so good she was nearly sobbing that it was going to be over.

It wasn’t much longer before she felt him release inside her, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his teeth sinking into the back of her neck. They collapsed into a trembling heap beside each other, catching their breaths. After a few minutes of silence, Aranea started laughing.

“What is it?” Specs asked.

“I wonder if anybody out there heard us . . . well, me, I guess.”

She felt him smile against her shoulder. “I’m sure if they did, they’re pretty jealous.”

“Of who?”

“Both of us.”

Aranea turned to face him. “Yeah, I can see that. You are pretty handsome, after all. I’d go gay for you.”

Specs laughed and kissed her again and again, small and gentle kisses that still managed to make her melt.

When he pulled back, he placed his hand on her cheek and rubbed it slowly with his thumb. “I meant what I said, by the way. I don’t even have the energy to do so right now, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you again.”

Aranea blushed. “Do I need to stage an intervention?”

“I’d immediately reject it.”

“You know we eventually have to go attend to our duties.”

“I’m aware. I just . . . It’s never been like this for me. Scarily enough, I’m not sure what to do with it sometimes. I know I can’t always protect you, and I know you’ll fight whether I’m by your side or not. I only wish I could be more.”

“You’re enough. I don’t need anything else from you. And I feel the same way, Specs. I wanna protect you, too. But I know I can’t. I know when his majesty comes back, you’re gonna go with him. I know he will always come first for you, and I wouldn’t ask you to change that for anything, because I know that’s what you want. That’s not gonna stop me from being scared out of my mind, though.” She suddenly felt as though she was looking down from a great height, preparing to jump. “I . . . There’s something I kind of want to tell you, but . . . It’s – I don’t know, it’s really hard for me.”

“Why? What are you afraid of?”

Her bottom lip quivered. “That I’ll . . . lose you, I guess. That in the end it won’t matter.”

“Aranea . . .” He didn’t seem to know what else to say. At least for a long time. He kissed her again, held it for as long as he could. “Tell me when I get back, then,” he said.

It took Aranea a moment to understand what he was saying. “But . . . what if –”

“I plan on coming back. Whatever it takes.”

“As long as you don’t do anything stupid.”

“Now when have I been known for that, exactly?”

“Hmm . . . going into the tomb after you lost your eyesight, coming back for me when I told you not to, coming into my room when I’m half naked –”

“Now, now, if I recall correctly, those ended up being good decisions on my part.”

Aranea smiled and pressed herself closer to him. “I mean it, though, Specs. I’ll lose my fucking mind if something happens to you.”

“As long as you promise to keep yourself safe, I’ll be sure to do the same.”

“You better.”

They held each other, not saying much, for a long time.

“I wonder what time it is,” Aranea said.

“We’ll probably have to get back soon.”

Aranea made a noise of disapproval. “Just a few more minutes. Please?”

“You know I can never deny you.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I know why, too.”


	16. 10 Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end and man, it's been fun. I hope you guys feel the same way. 
> 
> Was anybody else kind of disappointed that Aranea was in Prompto's episode? She's still the Queen, though, so that was good to see. Still think she should have been a main party member, but oh well. Hope she becomes playable at some point. Or gets her own episode. 
> 
> I'm also amazed at how this part of the fandom has grown. I think it started out as like 2 or 3 fics and now it's exploded. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought these two should hook up, or at least saw Ignis and was like, I bet his dick game 100. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope this part of the fandom gets even bigger and then Square HAS to acknowledge that this is cannon =). Enjoy this chapter in the meantime.

**Year 1**

She had to jiggle the key a bit and the door squeaked like a mouse when she pushed it open, but upon seeing their place – all furnished and everything – she felt a little swoon-y. She stood in the doorway for a few seconds after Specs had walked inside. The lights blinked on when Aranea flipped the switch. She finally stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

“It’s probably nothing like what we’ll have down the road,” Specs said, “but it’s better than the camper, I suspected.”

“It’s more private, anyway.” Aranea grinned, and somehow she suspected he could see it, or at least sense it. She walked over to the window and the city spread out before them, all covered in darkness, looked dead. Some of the windows were broken. She could see candlelight in a few of the windows, but they were so faint, it seemed almost pointless. One year had turned Lestallum to shit; Aranea didn’t want to imagine what was going to happen as the years piled up.

Specs stood beside her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s probably hard to like right now . . .” He trailed off, clearly disappointed with something he’d done.

Aranea turned her head to kiss his hand. “It’s good. It’s nice to have a place to call home in this shit storm.”

Specs pulled her closer. “This will at least be a good place to meet up after our assignments are done.”

“Waiting sucks.”

Specs agreed.

 

**Year 2**

She didn’t know what the hell was going on with her. He was touching and kissing her in the places that she knew she liked, but it felt like she was dead between her legs and all she could feel was this uncomfortable friction that made it even harder for her to get into anything. She felt fucking terrible about it because she didn’t want Specs blaming himself, but she didn’t know what to do or say.

They held each other in their bed – and even after all this time, it was weird to think she shared ownership with anyone on anything. This shit going on with Aranea had been going on for a few months, even if they didn’t get to see each other every day, even when she was dying to have his hands on her, nothing was happening where it should. And it kind of scared her because people were getting sick or losing their minds. One night somebody jumped off the roof of the nearby building. Aranea couldn’t help but wonder if this was a sign that she was losing it, too. That it would only be a matter of time before she was the one on the rooftop, saying she was going to jump and actually doing it, because what was a bit more blood spilled in the street?

She shivered. It was cold a lot, too. The heat was busted, as was the lights. She had to light candles for herself to get anywhere. They had to eat from cans because things like meat and veggies were a thing of the past. Thank God there was still some Cup Noodles left, though.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, my dear,” Specs asked softly.

“A lot of scary shit, mostly,” she replied.

“We’re doing the best we can.”

Aranea pressed her lips together for a moment. “What if it’s not enough? It feels like the more daemons we cut down, the more take their place. Sometimes I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing anymore.”

“He’s going to come back, you know. We’ll just have to endure.”

 _I don’t know if I can_ , Aranea thought. “I’m sorry . . . about earlier. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Is there something I could do . . . or something you need?”

Aranea shook her head against him. “It’s not you. I hope you don’t think I’m not, you know, attracted to you or anything. Something’s just not . . . working, and I don’t know what it is.”

“Maybe we should go to a doctor.”

Aranea frowned. She didn’t want to waste a doctor’s precious time, especially considering there was more important things going on. Still, this did bother her, and it knocked her confidence down like a tree in a hurricane. “Let’s give it a few more days. Then we can go.”

 

**Year 3**

They had a huge argument, probably the worst Aranea had ever been a part of. It had happened a while ago, though, to the point where she couldn’t remember what the argument had been about. All she knew was that she didn’t want to bother going home anymore, and she kept taking more and more assignments, even when she was dead tired. She didn’t think the end of the world was going to fuck up her relationship, but she supposed it was all her fault in the first place. He was still too good for her, and they both knew it, even if only one accepted it. She wondered how long it would take for him to move on, if he changed the locks already. Specs had sent her a few messages; strangely enough sometimes the phones would work.

_At least tell me that you’re safe._

_Are you coming home?_

_Where are you staying? I won’t visit if you don’t want me to, I just want to make sure you’re all right._

_I made you some dinner in case you come back._

And then, finally:

_Please come home._

 

**Year 4**

He hadn’t changed the locks at all. Aranea stepped into the darkened apartment quietly. It took her a moment to register that Specs was in the shower. He was one of the few people she knew that liked cold showers. Aranea slipped out of her shoes and uniform and walked carefully to the bathroom.

She slowly opened the door so as not to startle him, and he was in the shower alone. She didn’t know what she expected, really. She knew she was being fucking stupid, and had been for a long time. But so many fucked up things had happened in such a small time, and they were still going on. She ruined the only good thing she had left, and she stood there for a while, naked and ashamed and scared out of her mind.

Specs pulled the shower curtain back just a little and held out his hand. “Are you going to join me, or are you planning on standing there?”

Aranea hesitated for just a second, but then fully stepped into the bathroom and took his hand. “How did you know it was me?” she asked as she stepped into the shower. The cold water sent shockwaves over her skin. Specs put his arms around her and pulled her close and Aranea realized how badly she missed feeling his skin on hers. She laid her head on his chest.

“I heard you come in,” Specs said. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are, at least not around me.”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here . . . especially after all this time –”

“I always want you, even when you’re being stubborn and irritating.”

She half smiled against him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was just scared and . . .”

“I know. It’s all right, Aranea. I’m just glad you’re back . . . unless you aren’t staying.”

She kissed his chest. “I’m going to stay. I –”

“Remember, we agreed you’d tell me when I returned.”

“Why can’t it be the other way around?”

“Because, in times like these, we need a small something to hold onto.”

“You’re holding onto me, now.”

“You’re not that small.”

She lightly punched him and then planted another kiss. Specs reached up to tilt her chin up so he could kiss her lips. He slid his tongue in her mouth and Aranea could barely feel the cold water. He lifted her by her legs and, after fumbling a bit to turn the shower off and step out of it, carried her to their room. They made love but neither of them got off, which was fine, since they were both so exhausted and it was so cold even their shared heat couldn’t keep it away for long. Aranea laid on top of Specs, brushed his hair back, and vowed that she would never make the same mistake again.

“I don’t know if you’re stupid or saintly, hoping for me to come back,” Aranea said.

“I didn’t hope you would come back. I knew you would.”

 

**Year 5**

“You can’t keep doing this, Specs,” Aranea said sternly.

He was shivering in bed, even with all the blankets piled on top of him. He’d been slowly turning into a wreck the past three days. Aranea knew he was getting sick before he was ready to admit it, which was never. Sometimes he could be such a pain in the ass.

“I’m f-fine,” he insisted.

Aranea sighed. “Too bad. I already spoke to Cor. I’m taking over for you until you get over this. And you better get over this. I’m not losing you to a fucking cold, you hear?”

He was but at the same time, he wasn’t. He kept trying to get out of bed and Aranea pushed him roughly back down until he couldn’t fight anymore.

“If you keep this up, I’m going to tie you to the bed, and not in a sexy way, in a I-hate-you-Aranea-for-this way.”

“You’re c-cruel.”

Aranea leaned in close to kiss his nose. “I know. Now you better be a good boy and get rest, or I’m going to punish you, and not in a sexy way.”

Aranea turned away, but Specs grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She fell onto the bed beside him. His hand was so hot. His fever was still probably burning him up. The other night, she heard him talking in his sleep, telling someone to stop the train, to let her go, let her go. Damn, after all this time, to think he still felt guilty about some of that shit tore her up. If he wasn’t so stubborn and just _said_ something . . . but then he wouldn’t be the man she wanted to be with. And she was no better in that regard.

“K-keep yourself s-safe, my dear,” he said. “You still need to –” he coughed violently into his elbow – “You still need to take care of me.” He even offered a smile. Asshole.

“I’ll be fine. Just imagine me riding the back of the first red giant I see.”

He reached up to cup her cheek, his arm shaking slightly. Aranea pressed his palm against her cheek, worried and scared shitless. That was going to sum up these past years.

“Sometimes,” Specs said softly, “I wish I could see you, again.”

Aranea slowly moved his hand away. She knew he wasn’t blaming her for it; they were long past that.

It still sucked, though.

“I know,” Aranea whispered.

 

**Year 6**

Aranea rolled out of the way of the red giant’s sword. She could feel the strong breeze it had created nearly flattening her to the ground. With lightning speed, she aimed her lance at one of the giant’s legs and severed it below the knee. It let out a horrible groan as it fell bodily to the ground, the earth shaking beneath Aranea’s feet, but it wasn’t enough to slow her down. She jumped up onto the giant’s sword and ran along it, jumping up to its shoulder, and then shoved her lance into the daemon’s neck and wrenched it out without further thought. She jumped off as it started melting away and brushed the dirt off her uniform.

She fucking hated those things.

“Now you’re just showing off,” Cor said as he walked towards her, admiring her handiwork.

“I wonder who taught me that.”

“Certainly not I. There’s no time for fancy tricks in my rule book.”

“Gotta get your kicks somewhere, Marshal. I just happen to enjoy playing with my food.”

Cor shook his head, but he was smiling all the same. “How is Ignis? Or should I call him Specs, too?”

“Not unless you’re bedding him.” Aranea said with a coy smile. Cor rolled his eyes, which Aranea ignored. “He’s fine. Better. Won’t be seeing him for a while, thanks to you.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know.”

“Right.”

Cor folded his arms across his chest. “How do you feel about leading a small group to Cape Caem?”

The question was loaded enough to make her hesitate. “Lead? Would your men accept that?”

“I didn’t think you cared what my men thought of you. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“I just wouldn’t be happy with insubordination, you know?”

“Aranea, you are one of my best fighters. My men have noticed it, too. You’ve come a long way since we met up. And I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t think you could do it.”

Aranea knew she _could_ do it. But did she _want_ to? She knew what kind of responsibility that shit entailed. What if she had someone die on her? She knew Specs would tell her to go for it. We do the best we can. Plus, civilians were always more important. Getting rid of daemons equally so.

“Ok,” she said finally. “I’ll do it. But not for you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Highwind.”

“All right, take me to my peasants.”

Cor sighed and together they walked back toward the camp. It was awkwardly quiet for a long time. Then Cor finally spoke up.

“About your father –”

“Cor, you really don’t have to say anything. I get it, OK? And . . . and I’m pretty sure I know.”

“Oh. Are you . . . disappointed?”

Aranea shrugged. “Hard to say, really. But I guess, all things considered, it could be worse. Could have been worse.”

Cor nodded. “Well, I just want you to know . . . Your father . . . he’s proud of you.”

Aranea had to admit, hearing that felt good. “I don’t really need it, but thanks. I think I knew that all along, too.”

 

**Year 7**

_Am I dying? Or am I already dead?_

Aranea opened her eyes and she was back in her mother’s hallway, only this time, she was alone. It was strangely quiet and there was no smell of blood.

Ardyn was standing at the end of the hallway. He was wearing Specs’ gloves.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she said. “You’re just a sleazy asshole not worth my time or head space. Now, fuck off.”

He turned to stone and crumbled. Aranea walked to the end of the hallway and picked up Specs’ gloves. She put them on, flexed her fingers. It felt right.

She felt arms circle around her waist, and she wasn’t afraid. Not even a little.

“Do you know who I am, now?”

“Yeah. I’ve known for a long time, I just wanted to keep denying it.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Say it. Tell me who I am.”

Aranea could hear voices in the distance, getting clearer with time.

“You’re . . .”

“Go on. It’s OK.”

_\--nea, can you hear me?_

Aranea closed her eyes. “You’re me.”

When she opened them again, she was blinded by a harsh, white light. She moaned because it hurt a little, but soon she could make out shapes, and then faces. Specs and Cor. Prompto. Gladio. Her men. They were all talking at once and she waved them off.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Specs held her up in a sitting position. His face was so pale, it made his scars look worse. “You just – you started screaming, you were clutching your stomach. Then you just . . .”

“Oh – yeah. Feels like I swallowed a bunch of fucking needles.”

“We should get her to medical,” Cor said.

“Nah.” With Specs’ help, Aranea got to her feet. She swayed a little, but she stood firm. “I’m OK. It just hit me all of a sudden.”

“What did?” Specs asked.

Aranea placed a hand on her stomach. Everything felt normal, which was weird. “I don’t know. Feels like something just got killed off inside me.”

Specs squeezed her hand. “You need to see a doctor. We’ve put it off for far too long.”

“And what’s the doctor going to do, exactly? Trust me, I feel fine. I feel . . . better, somehow.”

Everybody was looking at her like she was crazy. But she was telling the truth. She felt like she could overcome anything. Everything. She was more powerful than ever.

 

**Year 8**

She woke up with his head between her legs. The warmth spread up her spine, causing her to arch her back. He clutched her hips harder, ran his tongue over her slower now that she was awake and aware of her surroundings. She released soft moans that grew louder the longer he went at it. Her heart fluttered and she gripped the sheets, body writhing almost involuntarily, despite him doing his best to keep her pinned down.

She stretched out when she came, and it had felt like it had been so long since she had; it reverberated throughout her body and she cried out with the shock of it. She almost didn’t expect it to happen. She bucked against his tongue until she was so sensitive it hurt. Specs moved up to lay beside her and she trembled against him, occasionally kissing his chest and neck.

“What was that for?” Aranea asked when she found her voice again.

“Couldn’t help myself,” Specs replied with a smile.

“You always know how to turn me into an absolute wreck.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She buried her face against him, nuzzling him with her nose. It was times like these they could forget that the world was fucked up and had been for nearly a decade, now. “Well, now that you’ve had breakfast, what am I supposed to eat?”

“I could make you an omelet. We still have some of those powdered eggs left.”

“I had a more cannibalistic thought in mind.” She tried to reach down between them but he stopped her and shook his head.

“I just wanted this to be about you,” he said. “I’m a bit worried I’ve been neglecting you.”

“You’re worried about the king.”

“And –“

“If you say ‘me’ I’m going to hit you. You know better than that by now, surely.”

“If you’d just let me take care of you like the others, I wouldn’t.”

Aranea blew a raspberry. “There are more important things. Plus, I hope you’re not going down on anybody else to take care of them.”

Specs laughed. She felt like she hadn’t heard that in quite some time. It was fucking beautiful.

 

**Year 9**

She felt like a teenager again, at least when it came to her hormones. It came on like a tidal wave; one minute she was fine drained from fighting a pack of goblins, the next she felt like she hadn’t had sex in nine years and desperately needed it. She went home and took a shower and impatiently waited for Specs. Every now and then she would touch herself and shudder, thinking of all the things she wanted to do to Specs as soon as he walked through that goddamn door. It was like she had just had sex for the first time the other day, and now she was just craving it like candy.

Aranea heard the door unlock and rushed towards it to meet Specs. He’d barely gotten through the door when she pushed him against it, effectively closing it, and kissing him like she’d never kissed anybody in her life. Specs made a surprised noise against her mouth.

“I missed you, too,” he said when she pulled away and started pulling at his belt. “Everything all right?”

She slid her hand under his pants and wrapped her hand around him, effectively shutting him up. She pulled down his pants with her free hand and wasted no time getting on her knees and putting her mouth on him. Gods, she loved hearing him moan and gasp, loved making him lose his shit like nobody else.

His hand tangled in her hair, the other scrabbling at the door for purchase. Eventually he pulled her back and knocked her down on the floor where all their limbs got tangled together and it was like their mouths were sealed together. The floor was fucking cold but they didn’t care. Specs pinned her wrists above her head, lacing their fingers together. When he pushed into her she bit his jaw, licked his earlobe, pressed her nose against his pulse. She felt frenzied, wanted his dick to be all over and inside her. She bucked her hips wildly to meet his, moaning like a goddamn porn star. She begged him to push harder, go deeper, faster, more, please. Her nails bit into his knuckles and she started trembling beneath him. She could barely hold her legs around his waist, could barely think about anything else.

The only thing slow about their lovemaking was their kisses, but even then Aranea could feel the intense heat and passion. She could feel his heart nearly slamming against hers. He nuzzled her neck and growled when he came. Aranea bucked her hips a few more times until she released, crying out with wild abandon, feeling like something was spilling out of her. She unwound her legs around him and let them lie flat. She couldn’t move or think; she was completely satiated. Only he could do that.

“What was that about?” Specs asked after a few moments.

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Wanting you. I hope I wasn’t too rough.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

They both laughed. Specs rested his head on her chest and she let him, stroking his hair back.

After an hour or so of lying there, they cleaned up and got dressed and ready for dinner. Aranea though was slightly distressed when she saw a little blood on the floor.

“Are you bleeding?” she asked.

“What? Uh . . . not that I’m aware of.”

She went to the bathroom. The tissue had a blot of blood on it.

 

**Year 10**

“That’s fucking impossible,” Aranea said, laughing at the doctor. The evidence was all there, but she still shook her head because it was unbelievable. “I mean, I – no. No, that can’t happen.”

“It could be, when you touched the crystal, the magic wormed its way in there and killed off the experiment Ardyn did on you.”

“So that’s why I’ve been acting like a complete maniac this past year and a half?”

“Well, the crystal probably completely remodeled you, and it was only now that things started functioning – though I hate to use this term – normally again.”

“So . . . I’m free?”

“I would assume so, yes.”

Shit, what the hell was she going to tell Specs? What the hell was she even going to do?

She didn’t have time to come up with a plan. By the time she got home, Specs gathered her up in an embrace and spun her around. She couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s going on?”

It took two words to make her change her mind.

“He’s back.”


	17. All The Things I Meant To Say

Aranea needed a few minutes in the bathroom before they departed for Hammerhead for the reunion. She sat on the floor next to the toilet, the box of pills in her trembling hand. Just let them melt in your mouth, the doctor said. Almost like it was candy. The thought turned her stomach.

 _Is this the right thing to do?_ She had no idea. There were too many what ifs, too many things that could go wrong. And she couldn’t do it by herself. If something happened to Specs, if the king failed . . . She didn’t know what she was going to do. She didn’t know if she could live in this fucked up world by herself, as strong as she had become.

She didn’t think Specs needed to know anything. It was just going to distract him. Or worse, make him want to leave her behind. She and her men were going to keep the daemons at bay on the outskirts of Insomnia while the king and his crew did their thing. It all sounded so simple, maybe this could work.

She released a deep breath, unaware she had been holding it for some time now.

She flinched when Specs knocked on the door. “Everything all right?”

Aranea swallowed bile. “Yeah. I’m almost done.”

She opened the box.

~+~

Aranea stayed to the sidelines while the boys reunited. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy or excited that the king was back, it was mostly that she was angry. Why the hell did it take so long for him to come back? She thought of all the shit she had seen this past decade and the constant fighting they had to do just to survive, and all she could feel was the heat of anger in her veins. She didn’t want to ruin the reunion by being a massive bitch. She could only hope that his majesty would be able to do what they couldn’t.

She nodded at the king when he caught her eye, but she kept her distance. She glanced down at her stomach briefly and then quickly looked back up when Specs was approaching. Her heart fluttered nervously and she felt like she was going to be sick.

“He’s allowing us some time before we depart,” Specs said. He reached for her hand and they laced their fingers together. “There’s something I wanted to do before we leave.”

Aranea couldn’t really speak; she just followed Specs into the camper. Once they were alone, Aranea suddenly felt like a great weight had settled on her chest and she had to take several deep breaths.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted.

“If we don’t try, then the world will never have a chance to get better,” Specs said.

“I know that. It’s just . . . I’m . . .” The rest of her sentence was caught in her throat. “Shit, Specs, you better not die. Or I’ll have to chase you in the afterlife just to kick your ass.”

He smiled. She didn’t know how he could possibly manage it. It was almost infuriating; she could punch him right now if she wanted to just to prove he wasn’t so fucking perfect all the time.

Specs placed his hand on her cheek, slowly moving his thumb over her skin, making her shiver. “I wanted to take this opportunity to see if I remember what you look like,” he said.

“That makes it seem like you’re trying to say goodbye,” Aranea said bitterly.

“It’s been years. We’ve gotten older. You probably don’t look the same since we first met.”

“Are you trying to deflect?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

He ignored her. Instead he traced his fingertips from her forehead to her nose. “Still the same shape,” he said.

“All the better to smell your bullshit with, my dear.”

He found her lips then moved down to her chin. Then he used both hands to trace over her face all over again. He ran his fingers through her hair. He skimmed his fingers along her jaw before working down to her throat. He put just a little pressure on her pulse which was banging like a heavy metal song.

“Still so lovely,” he said.

“And you’re still so corny.” Aranea felt tears flood her eyes and she had to close them before they escaped. Specs cupped her face and pressed his brow to hers.

“I still have to hear you say it,” he said finally. “So you should expect me to return at some point. You better be prepared to sweep me off my feet.”

“I’ll knock you on your ass, first.”

He kissed her softly just as there was a knock on the door. Someone announced it was time to go.

Aranea shook her head. “No,” she said. “Just don’t.” She held onto the front of his shirt. She was shaking so bad she wasn’t sure how she was still standing. Specs grabbed her hand and held it, firm but gentle.

“We’ll walk out together,” he said.

And so they did. When it was time for them to go their separate ways, Aranea kissed him one more time and whispered, “Tell his majesty that he’s a fucking asshole for me, OK?”

He smiled like the world wasn’t ending. “Tell Cor he better have your back.”

She watched him and the boys walk away, kept watching until they melted into the darkness. She closed her eyes for just a moment. It was all the time she had; daemons were crawling out of the ground. The final battle was starting whether she was ready or not.

 _I am ready_ , she told herself. This past decade had proven that she was as strong as anybody. She grabbed her lance and moved to stand beside Cor, watching an army of daemons lumber their way towards them.

“There’s something I want you to know,” Aranea said. “Just in case something happens.”

“I hope you’re not getting sentimental with me, Highwind,” Cor said.

“You should know me better than that. No. It’s something else.”

“Why are you telling me?”

“I want you to stop me from doing something stupid if something shitty happens. I know already how far I’ve come over the years, how strong I’ve gotten. So I want you to keep busting my balls, making me fight harder than ever. Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who can do all that.”

The respect she saw in Cor’s eyes made her smile for what seemed like the first time in years.

“I’ve got your back, Highwind. I always will.”

“Thank you.”

“So, what is it you need to tell me?”

~

Gunshots and smoke and the ground shaking beneath her feet. The smell of blood pumping through her veins. Bright lights from explosions looking almost beautiful, like stars bursting in the sky. Men were screaming around her, daemons were wailing, and she was shouting her lungs out, throwing her weight into every attack. For several minutes, it felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Men getting ripped apart. Daemons shattering apart like glass.

She became tired, but she couldn’t slow down. She had a brief vision of her and Specs in a better world right as a goblin slashed her back. She barely felt its claws rip his skin open. She whipped around and stabbed it in the gut without thinking. It wasn’t until later, much later, that she felt the cuts burn like someone was putting cigarettes out on her skin. She let herself fall to one knee for just a moment, sweat dripping down her chin, hair plastered to her cheeks. She let herself take a breath and then picked herself back up again.

A daemon knocked the wind out of her but she still stood. She felt something else snag her leg, her hip. What felt like a fist knocked the side of her head. She kept on her feet as long as she could, even as something grabbed her hair and pulled, pulling some strands out by the roots. She couldn’t see any familiar faces around her anymore. She couldn’t hear anything. All she could do was feel.

Time melted away. Aranea fell to her knees, screaming but she couldn’t hear her own voice. A red giant towered over her, his sword raised, and Aranea made to stand back up again, slightly more shaky this time.

But then –

She noticed the sky was starting to blush. The moon was fading. The stars were blinking out.

The red giant froze like time had stopped, but no, it kept going on and on. Until she could see clouds rolling along the sky. Until there were hues of blue.

And then there was sunlight. She closed her eyes and felt warmth on her face. The daemons dissipated into black clouds that vanished in the sunlight.

Real goddamn sunlight.

Aranea started weeping, her shoulders shaking. And once she started sobbing, she couldn’t stop. All around her were shouts of joy and weapons raised in victory.

They had done it.

They had fucking done it.

And now all she had to do was wait.

~

Waiting sucked.

While everyone else celebrated, Aranea remained waiting, searching the horizon for any familiar shapes. She kept wringing her hands and tapping her feet. Sometimes she distracted herself by thinking of what she was going to say. Her whole body was in pain, even after getting patched up, but for now she welcomed it.

Three hours. Four. She closed her eyes and asked herself what she believed. If the sun had come back, why couldn’t he?

Because life was often shitty that way. It gave you the best things and then sometimes ripped them away from you without warning.

But then sometimes life returned the things you needed most. And sometimes it gave you the chance to get something better. No matter what happened, she’d never regret anything. Not the time they spent together. Not the final decisions she made. Most people were not lucky to have what she had and she didn’t know if she should thank the gods or what. But she was grateful.

When she opened her eyes again . . .

Her heart stopped and then started again, faster and more erratic.

Three figures in the distance. And one of them she knew like the back of her hand.

They limped towards the camp. Aranea wasn’t going to wait that long. She sprinted towards them, sobbing again. It was only a matter of moments before she was in Specs’ arms again and they both fell to the ground. They were both bleeding and out of breath and they held onto each other like lifelines, laughing and crying and kissing.

When they stopped to catch their breath, Aranea cupped Specs’ face and finally told him what she had meant to say all those years ago.

“You are the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. You’re so goddamn perfect I almost can’t stand to look at you sometimes. You make me happy and you scare the living shit out of me.” She swallowed and then smiled, even though he couldn’t see it. She assumed that he could feel it. “I love you.”

She silenced him before he could respond. “There’s something else.” She grabbed his hand. “I know you’re probably not going to believe this. Just know that I didn’t lie to you when we spoke on the train. And even though things are good, maybe now isn’t the right time, but . . .” She moved his hand towards her stomach and pressed it there.

The silence stretched out. Aranea studied Specs’ face, trying to find some emotion there. All she saw was that he was stunned.

“You’re . . .” he began.

Aranea nodded. “Yeah. Touching the crystal destroyed Ardyn’s magic, so . . . But, I don’t know. I know this is a huge thing and we’ve barely really figured us out without all the crazy shit going on –”

“I love you,” he said.

She started laughing and sobbing at the same time. “You are just so fucking stupid,” she said.

Then he kissed her, and in that moment, she was more than certain that she would want to live forever for him. “I know,” he whispered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next there be an epilogue yo.


	18. Epilogue

Aranea had never seen herself as a mother, not in a million years. Not only because the option had been barred from her, but because she didn’t think she’d be much of a mother. And yet, as she pushed out the tiny human and finally held her in her arms, she felt a surreal sense of affection and determined fierceness towards her child. And Aranea had cried, of course. She’d never seen something so small look so beautiful, and she had told Specs so. Of course, he felt some sadness at never being able to see his daughter, but after he held her for a while, Aranea could see that happy smile spread across his face and knew that all would be well for now. They named her Luna.

Specs had also been saddened by the death of the king, and Aranea knew that was a gap that she could never fill. She tried her best to comfort him, leaning her head against his shoulder during the quiet moments, or helping him become more acquainted with cooking again now that there were more supplies in the world. She knew that was a space that could never be filled, and it hurt her to think of it. That fucking king, leaving him like this. But apparently he had no choice. Still, they lived day by day trying to raise their daughter and trying to keep each other sane while everyone was rebuilding the world.

Aranea rarely got to see Prompto and Gladio. The former group was now officially split, probably because it was too painful to unite without the king. Sometimes they would all meet up for drinks or dinner, but the conversations became more and more awkward until a silent agreement was made to just go their own ways. It made Aranea think that perhaps Specs wasn’t the one keeping them all together. Stil, she couldn’t help but believe they would all see each other again and perhaps things would not be so awkward the next time.

After a month or so of being parents, Specs started to wonder if they should just get married. Aranea didn’t see why not, but she reminded him the forever commitment was really forever and not something you could bullshit. Specs said he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. So they got married. It was a small ceremony, nothing fancy. There were cupcakes and skewers and dancing. They wrote their own vows, and Aranea was quite proud of herself for not crying through hers. But, of course, Specs had to ruin it and what little make-up she wore. She so badly wanted to hit him, but not in front of an audience. Cor had attended; he had walked her down the aisle mostly because she had asked him to. He also held Luna, but not for long. Probably because he wasn’t used to dealing with small children.

“How are you doing, Highwind?” Cor had asked once the party was dying down.

“Better than I thought I would, to be honest. Also, I’m not Highwind anymore, remember?” She patted Luna’s back and made eye contact with her. Luna had her father’s eyes.

“Well, you’ll always be Highwind to me.” He shoved his hand into his pocket, suddenly looking sheepish. It wasn’t a good look for him. “If you ever change your mind, my men and I could still use you.”

“There’s no war anymore.”

“True, but there’s always a reason to fight.”

Aranea considered his words and nodded. “For now . . . I think I just want to be with my family.”

“I think that’s a good choice.”

It wasn’t always easy; raising a kid after all takes a lot out of you, as Aranea began to realize as she changed Luna’s diaper for what felt like the fiftieth time. She didn’t know if she felt that over-the-moon feeling like most women did, or like Luna’s own father did, but she knew that would come with time and there was no need to rush it.

“I’m scared again,” Aranea admitted to Specs one night. Luna was sleeping in the bassinet beside her, and every now and then Aranea would panic and have to check she was still breathing.

“Of what, dear?”

“I don’t know. You think it’s always going to be like this? This peaceful?”

He reached for her hand. “All I know for certain is that I’m happy. And I hope you are, too.”

“I don’t know. I could always use more shopping money.”

“For yourself or Luna?”

“Why not both?”

He chuckled.

“You may laugh, but I want our daughter to be the best dressed when she goes to school.” God, she couldn’t believe that was going to happen. That the little human that had grown inside her and was now in the world was going to get bigger, older. One day she was going to be as old as Aranea, and Aranea could only hope she wouldn’t have to go through hell just to have a good life like this. Sometimes she’s think about all the shit she’d been through and still couldn’t believe she ended up here of all places, with a kid and a husband. And somehow they both loved her. And there were more people in the world that loved and cared for her still. And she could feel all of it stirring inside her, warm and deep; a fathomless tide.

She woke up around four in the morning to feed Luna. As she sat with her daughter, rocking her gently as she fed, she started talking softly to her. It was the first time she felt like she had anything worthwhile to say besides Good morning or hey you.

“After tonight, I’m going to let a lot of stuff go. I can’t raise you right if I’m haunted by everything that happened to me. And things are really good now. You’ve got a good dad. And I don’t know much about me, yet, but I’m gonna try and be a good mom. I hope I’m not doing too shi – I mean, too terrible so far. Well, you at least seem to like me a little. That’s a good start. I just don’t ever want you to feel unloved, because that’s nowhere near true. I want you to know that you can be whatever you want and don’t settle for anything less. Maybe I’ll tell you these things again when you’re older. For now, I just want to be able to say it without weeping. That’s all I got right now, baby girl. For now.”

When Luna was done eating, Aranea held her close to her chest until she fell asleep. And everything was OK and it was all she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I had a blast writing this. I hope you all enjoyed reading. I don't think I always did a perfect job, but I did the best I could. I want to write more of these two crazy kids, but for now I'm going to take a short break while I get my shit together haha. In the meantime, I'll be enjoying everyone else's fics and working on some original stuff besides some Ignea trash. =) Peace out for now.


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